Page 122 of Save You

By the end of the morning, I’m knackered.I’d like to head to the library to do more reading for my next lessons, but my stomach is rumbling too loudly for me to skip lunch.

On the way to the dining hall, Lin hooks her arm into mine.“Are you OK?”she asks, giving me a sideways glance.

“I’m never missing another day ever again,” I grumble as we walk toward the dining hall together.“It’s the worst feeling in the world not to know what the teachers want from you.”

Lin strokes my arm.“You did fine.You’ll be caught up again by next week, I’m sure of it.”

“Hmm,” I say as we turn the corner.“But it was still…”

I stop dead.

We’re in Maxton Hall’s main hall.To my right are the stairs down to the cellar.

The stairs where James first kissed me.

The memory of his hand on the back of my neck and his lips pressed onto mine floods over me without warning.It plays out like a film before my inner eye: his mouth gliding over mine, his hands holding me tight, his self-assured movement making me weak at the knees, when suddenly my face starts to change—it melts and blurs into someone else’s entirely.It’s not me in James’s arms now, it’s Elaine he’s kissing so passionately.

I feel it like a punch in the belly, and it’s a major effort not to crumple.

Then someone barges into me from the side—and I’m back at Maxton Hall.I no longer see the kiss, just the empty cellar steps and people moving toward the dining hall.The cramping pain in my stomach has ebbed away too.

I take a deep breath.School today has been nothing but one long roller-coaster ride.Every time I rise up and reach the top, I think everything’s back to normal and I’m going to get through this—then, suddenly, I see something that reminds me of James and I’m plunged back into the depths, into a vortex of pain.

“Ruby?”Lin says beside me.Judging by her worried face, this isn’t the first time she’s spoken to me in the last few minutes.“Are you OK?”

I force a smile onto my face and nod.

Lin frowns but doesn’t ask questions.Instead, she does what she’s been doing all morning—she distracts me.On the way to the dining hall, she tells me about the new Tsugumi Ohba andTakeshi Obata manga series, which she’s been devouring.She’s so fired up about it that I immediately pull out my bullet journal and make a note of the titles on my reading list.

Once we’ve finished our lunch, we take back our trays.There’s a girl leaning on the wall next to the tray station.I don’t know her.She’s talking to a boy, but at the sight of me, she goes quiet.Her eyes widen and she nudges him in the ribs—not exactly subtly either.I try to ignore the pair of them.

“Aren’t you the girl who got thrown in the pool at Cyril Vega’s party?”she asks, coming a step closer.

Her words make me flinch.That bloody pool is bound up with so many horrible memories that I wish I could get it lobotomized out of my brain.

I don’t answer, just wait for my turn to put my tray down and get out of here.

“And then James Beaufort carried you out.You know people are saying you’re his secret girlfriend?Is that true?”she continues.

It feels like the walls are slowly but surely closing in on me.They’re going to crush me any second now.

“If she was his girlfriend, she’d be at the funeral, wouldn’t she?”the guy says, just loudly enough that I can hear him.

“Yeah, but that’s why it’s asecret, isn’t it.Maybe he doesn’t want anyone to know.He’s got enough dirty little secrets, you know.”

There’s a loud crash.

I’ve dropped my tray.

There’s debris everywhere at my feet.I stare at a couple of peas as they roll across the floor but can’t even manage to pick them up.My body is rooted to the spot.

“Stop talking bollocks,” a deep voice sounds beside me.Thenext moment, there’s an arm around my shoulder and somebody’s escorting me out of the dining hall.I can dimly hear Lin’s voice behind me, calling something out, but the person just walks on, leading me out into the stairwell.Only then does their arm leave my shoulder as they turn to face me.My eyes travel up past the beige trousers and dark blue blazer, up to the face of…Keshav Patel.

I have to blink a few times before I realize that it’s really him standing there.His black hair is tied in a neat bun at the nape of his neck and he’s stroking back a stray strand.Then he turns his dark brown, almost black eyes on me.

“Are you all right?”he asks quietly.

I think I could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I’ve heard Keshav speak.He’s definitely the quietest of James’s friends.I’ve kind of got a bit of an idea what Alistair, Cyril, and Wren are like, but he’s still a closed book to me.