Page 148 of Save You

Hardly surprising.Alice Campbell set up her own cultural foundation while she was still at Oxford.

“You’re really pulling your finger out,” I remark, instantly regretting it as James’s face grows serious.

“Don’t change the subject,” he says, but I shake my head.

“I can’t tell him.How am I meant to sit through his history lessons after that?”

“You could switch teachers.”

“That would look really weird.”

James shrugs his shoulders.“There are all kinds of reasons toswitch.I don’t think it would be that weird.If you came into my class, we could say it’ll help us revise together.”

“I don’t know,” I mumble.

“Well, whatever you do,” James says, “I’ll help you.”He gives me another long, serious look, then turns back to his laptop.

I feel a slight tingle in my stomach and put my hand on it to tell if it’s one of the babies.I can feel them moving a tiny bit now—almost like having butterflies.

Now that James knows, I’m feeling a lot better about things, but it still doesn’t change the fact that I’m having two children, I’m going to be a single mum, and I will probably have to leave school without A levels.Although…maybe I can get them done before everything comes out.

I force myself to take three deep, calm breaths.I can’t get caught up in thinking about the future when it’s all up in the air anyway.I have to take each day as it comes.Because if I spend my whole time worrying, that won’t do anyone any good—least of all the little beans inside me that have to be my priority from now on.

“Fuck,” James exclaims suddenly.He’s linked his arms behind his head and is staring wide-eyed at his monitor.

“What’s wrong?”

James is rigid.Anxiously, I get up and walk over to his desk.I stand behind his chair and hold on to the leather back.Then I lean down a little.

The first words I see areUniversity ofOxford.

Glancing down a little further, I seeDear James…and many congratulations…

“You got in!”I blurt out.

James still isn’t responding, so I turn his chair round to face me.His face is a picture of sheer shock.

“James, you got in.That’s amazing!”I grab him by the shoulders and pull him up to give him a hug.He stumbles and it takes him a moment to hug me back.

“Fuck,” he repeats.

I don’t know whether he’s pleased or freaking out.As I hold him, I wonder whether I’ve got an email too.The old Lydia would be running to her phone now, like a woman obsessed, to see if she’d been accepted too.The new Lydia, on the other hand, doesn’t want to know if she’s just been handed a future that she can’t go through with either way.

I squeeze James a little tighter, happy that things are going to plan for at least one of us.

James

“I don’t need to tell you that we have been through a difficult period lately.But from here on, we can look forward, not back.Because that’s what Cordelia would have wanted.”

I suppress the urge to roll my eyes.My father has no idea what Mum would have wanted.Certainly not this performance that he’s putting on right now.

It’s his first official speech as CEO to the Beaufort board and heads of departments, and he’s got them all eating out of his hand.There are twelve men and women in total, hanging on to his every word with hopeful faces, while I’m sitting here on one side of the long conference table, wondering how I can sneak out my phone without attracting attention.

“If we all pull together, we can help each other out of thedepths of our emotions and put Beaufort’s on the front foot once more.There will be a few changes to face in the months ahead, and I am counting on you all for support.And at this point, I would like to offer you my thanks in advance.Because you are our most crucial asset, it is more than ever important to me that, in the months ahead, I will be able to draw on your expertise.”

I slip my hand into my trouser pocket and pull out my phone.Over the last couple of hours, the lads have been bombarding me with messages, trying to get me to come out for a drink this evening.It’s my first day on the Beaufort board and, in their world, that’s something worth celebrating.

But I’m not in the mood to party.I know that I should make the most of my friends while they’re all here because in the future we won’t have so many opportunities.And they’re already pissed at me for only training twice a week now.