Page 35 of Save You

“Hey.”

My eyes fly open.

James is sitting on the other side of the room.On the same chair he always sat on last term, when Mr.Lexington made him join the events committee as a punishment.

He looks different.There are dark rings under his eyes and there’s a hint of a shadow on his jaw to show that he hasn’t shaved.His hair is even messier than normal, probably because it’s grown.

I wonder if I look different to him too.

Seconds pass and neither of us moves.I don’t know how to act in his presence.I’ve been blanking him in corridors between lessons, but now we’re the only people in this room.

“What are you doing here?”

My voice is hoarse.But the last thing I want to do is give him the idea that he still has an effect on me.No, he needs to think I’m totally unfazed by being around him.

“Reading.”He holds up a book—wait, it’s a manga.I read the title with a frown, even though I’ve already recognized the picture on the cover.

James is readingDeath Note.Volume three.

I once told him that’s my favorite.

I look at him in confusion.

“It’s our team meeting in a minute, so if you’d kindly find somewhere else to read…” I push myself away from the door andwalk over to my place, as if my pulse isn’t thumping in my ears right now.

I slowly unpack my things and spread them out on the table, then I go to the whiteboard and write the date in the top right-hand corner.I wish there were any other jobs to do, but Lin has both the laptop and our notes in her bag.So I sit down and pretend to be engrossed in reading my bullet journal.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see James put the manga down on the table in front of him.His movements are slow.It almost feels like he doesn’t want to startle me.I feel his eyes on me and find myself holding my breath.

“I’d like to rejoin the events committee this term.”

I freeze.Not looking up from my planner, I say: “What?”

“If you and Lin don’t mind, I’ll run it past Lexie.”

I look up in disbelief.“You can’t be serious.”

James stares calmly back at me.Now I know what seems so different about him.He still looks tired, but that look of despair I saw in his eyes at New Year’s is gone.It’s been replaced by a calm that, in that moment, really gets to me.I can be strong when he’s messed up.It’s when he’s quiet that I get edgy.Is that what people mean when they say people complement each other?Or do we just knock each other off-balance?

“I enjoyed it here, even if I didn’t expect to at first.I want to be part of the team again.”

I can’t stop staring at him.“I don’t believe you.”

“You said yourself that I’m a good organizer and that the team wouldn’t be the same without me.And the training schedule for this term means that lacrosse and the events team only clash once a week.The coach is OK with it.”

I pick up my backpack and start digging around in it, just sothat I don’t have to keep looking at James.I have no idea what this means.

I’m not an idiot—James isn’t here because he’s rediscovered his love for Maxton Hall events.It definitely has to do with me.But what he said is true.Thinking back to last term and the effort he put into the Halloween party, I have to admit that James’s presence was anything but a drawback for the team.His ideas and hard work helped make the party a total success.

If I chuck him out now, I’ll have that on my conscience for the rest of the year, especially when we could do with an extra pair of hands, or someone else’s opinion.My duty as team leader is clear—plus, I’d have to explain everything to Lexie if I turn James away.

“So long as everyone else agrees,” I say in the end.

“OK.”

I gulp hard.Even if James does want to get involved on the team again, that doesn’t take away from what I said at New Year’s.Keeping school and my private life apart always used to be my specialty.And even if I let a few boundaries get blurred last term, that’s not going to happen again.

“I’ll be voting against,” I continue, giving him a hard stare.