Page 98 of Like You Want It

“Oh, you know. Same old, same old.”

I bob my head, watching his expressions. When he thinks I’m someone familiar, he’s brighter. Happier. When I’m a stranger, he nods a lot but doesn’t say much.

“You know, I was wondering if I could come here and read to you for a while. My grandfather gave me this book when I was a kid, and I think it would be a fun thing to share with you. What do you think?”

He smiles. “I love books, but you know, my eyes aren’t very good anymore.”

“Well then, that’s actually perfect. Because I love reading books out loud.”

He nods and seems to settle further into his chair, so I reach into my purse and pull out the book that I’ve had since I was little.

The one GP gave to me when I was too young to remember. The one he used to come and read to me all the time until, at some point, I became too cool for it.

Now I wish I could have those days back.

“Have you ever heard ofThe Giving Tree?” I ask him, and he ponders for a moment before he shakes his head.

“That’s okay. I’ll share it with you. My grandpa used to read this to me all the time. So I hope you like it, too.”

And then I open the book he gave to me and read it to him like it was the first time he’s heard it.

About a tree that gives and gives and gives to a young boy that she loves. And a young boy growing into a man, needing the tree less and less.

My GP used to cry sometimes when he’d read this book to me, and it wasn’t until I was much older, and my mom had passed away, that I felt like I understood why.

There are elements of a lot of different things in this book. Unconditional love, reciprocity in friendship, mother and child. But really, I see this book as being about allowing other people to love you to the extent they’re capable of loving you.

It might be imperfect. It might not always make you happy. But it’s important to cherish the love you’re given, because it won’t always be there.

After I finish the book, my GP looks a bit weepy, his eyes glassed up and downcast, but he doesn’t say anything else.

So I head over to his bookshelf, which is now filled with the VHS tapes I’ve gotten for him, since his eyes aren’t too good for reading anymore. I pull outA Fistful of Dollars– Clint Eastwood is one of his favorites – and we watch the whole thing together.

When it’s time to leave, GP looks sad to see me go, but he gives me a big smile.

“It was nice seeing you again today,” he says, and my heart soars, surprised that he might remember having seen me before.

But I don’t want to get too excited. There’s a chance he just thinks I’m my mother.

“Do you remember me?” I ask, hoping that in this moment, he’s given just a little bit of clarity.

He shakes his head, and my heart sinks.

“No,” he says, but then he rests his hand on mine. “But I remember that I love you.”

It takes everything inside of me not to break down into tears. I take his hand in mine and lean forward, kissing him softly on the cheek.

“I love you too.”

«««« »»»»

A few days later and it’s finally Susie’s birthday. I’ve spent multiple evenings this week getting everything ready, and I hope that the hard work results in something beautiful for her.

I’ve even borrowed Fin’s second car – don’t even get me started on the fact he has more than one – to lug all of my supplies to his house to get things ready.

“She still hasn’t mentioned that it’s her birthday, has she?” he asks as we string fairy lights across his patio on Friday afternoon.

I shake my head. “Nope. I told her we’d be going out tonight with Dina to grab drinks because Dina got a promotion, which is a total lie. Dina’s going to pick her up and bring her over.”