Page 11 of Like You Want It

“I haven’t decided, but the owner of the offices next door has expressed interest before.”

Lonnie doesn’t look me in the eyes when he says this, which is a good thing. Because if he did, he’d see devastation and fear snake through my expression for a fraction of a second.

If Lonnie sells the business to some random business owner, there’s no way this place will stay a coffee shop. Not when the business is already struggling and all of the neighboring buildings are office spaces and auto shops.

“Sounds like you’ve still got some big decisions to make, huh?” I finally say, hoping I’m being neutral when all I want to do is beg him not to do it.

Lonnie’s eyes find mine, focus hard on my face until I finally have to look away.

“Do you have a timeline or…?” I let the question trail off, not sure what other way to ask whether I need to start looking for a new job today or in a few months.

Because, let’s be honest. I want to work for Lonnie. So even if this placedoesstay a coffee shop, it won’t be the same.

He slowly shakes his head. “I’m still figuring it out. It’s a big decision that I don’t want to rush, but I’ve been mulling over wrapping up at the end of the calendar year,” he says.

I nod, feeling a little relieved that I have a decent amount of time before I’ll possibly need to job hunt. Having just gotten through the holidays, my bank account would begin weeping if I was going to be out of a job.

Though, my stomach sinks further when I realize I wouldn’t even know where to start if I need to trying to figure out something else to do for work.

“Well… keep me posted, okay?” I give him a nod then turn for the door. “And let me know if I can be helpful.” I look back over my shoulder at Lonnie. “I wanna make sure this last year is the best year you’ve ever had.”

He smiles but his eyes are sad, and I’m struck again by the difference I see in him today that I’ve never noticed before.

With one more smile, I head out of his office and close the door behind me, then lean against it for a second to catch my bearings.

As positive as I try to be in every situation, I can’t help but let the doubt creep in. I’m just too tired to hold it at bay.

Lonnie’s retiring and probably selling to someone who just wants the space. That leaves me without a job and without any idea of what I should do.

Do I just find a job at a different coffee house?

I almost laugh at that. There’s no way I’ll find a job that pays me well enough unless I’m a manager. Which, honestly, I’d love to do, except most places want you to have manager experience before they hire you. And even though I technically have that experience here, I don’t have the title.

Maybe I could talk to Lonnie about that.

But I’m barely making it by as it is, working two jobs. Trying to sort out a side hustle on top of that.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes. Try to remind myself that I’m going to be okay.

You’re capable and smart and you’ll figure it out.

I breath in another deep breath and let it out. Then do it again. Then I stand up straight, adjust my shirt and brush off my apron.

I’m not really sure what to do. But I’m not gonna solve anything right this second in a backroom hallway. And definitely not with a frown.

I jump up and down a few times to shake off the flustery feeling in my gut, shake out my arms and crack my neck, then push a smile back on my face.

There.

Much better.