Page 115 of Like You Want It

When I show up at his house, I see Caleb’s car already in the driveway. I buoy my positive spirit, taking a deep breath and reminding myself that all of my failures make me who I am today. Then, I head up the walk.

My brother and I grew up in a beautiful little town called Arcadia. Susie and I laughed when we realized that if her parents hadn’t moved, we would have gone to high school together. I always wonder if we would have been friends, back then. If it would have changed things.

What I love about Arcadia, similar to where my brother lives in Altadena, is the craftsman style houses. And I love them because I was lucky enough to grow up in one.

Brick walkways and stone pillars, wooden shingles and warm colors. I love the house we grew up in.

I just don’t miss how I felt growing up there.

The sound of arguing is the first bit of noise I hear when I open the front door. It doesn’t surprise me, although it’s usually my dad’s voice I hear. Iamsurprised to hear my brother.

“That’s not the point, dad,” is all I catch as I walk into the kitchen, a wide open space decorated by my mother and remaining unchanged since the day she passed.

“What’s not the point?” I ask, knowing I’m going to get dragged into the disagreement whether I want to or not.

Caleb and dad stand on opposite sides of the kitchen island, glaring at each other with an unrestrained anger that I normally don’t see them aiming at each other.

“Caleb here thinks it’s okay toabandonhis wife and child.”

My head flies back at my dad’s words. “What?”

“That is not atallwhat I said. And she isn’t my wife.”

“Well, she’s practically your wife. She gave you a child and you live together. What would you call that?”

I roll my eyes. “A woman he lives with who is also the mother of his child.”

My dad glares at me. “It doesn’t surprise me that you’re in agreement with this type of… ridiculous, foolish behavior.”

“Excuse me,” I say, my mouth dropping open. “I don’t even know what we’re talking about, so let’s stop with the finger pointing, yeah?”

They’re both silent for a minute, but I know they’re just each silently preparing their arguments.

I look to Caleb. “What’s going on?”

“I told Christine I don’t want to get married.”

My eyes fly wide, this complete 180-degree turn the epitome of surprise. “How come?”

He looks surprised by my question. “You hate her. You should be celebrating.”

But I’m already shaking my head. “False. I donothate her. I just have never thought you were right for each other. But that doesn’t mean I know everything.You’rethe one dating her.”

“Not anymore,” my dad says, waving his arm out and motioning to the suitcases in the corner.

At the sight of the black rolling bags, my mouth drops.

“Woah, woah, woah. Hold on.” I put my hands up, then spin and look at Caleb. “Did you move out of your house?”

He crosses his arms and tilts his chin up, looking ever the petulant child. “She told me to go. So I left.”

I blink repeatedly, confusion swamping me. Lifting my hands up and rubbing my temples with the tips of my fingers, I try to decide what to say.

But I just don’t know. I don’t know what to say in this moment. How do you tell your brother that he’s making the biggest mistake of his life? Especially when that mistake is technically the only thing you’ve been hoping for over the past few years.

“Caleb. You don’t leave without a good reason. And getting into an argument is not a good reason to leave your family.”

“I’m not leaving them. Christine doesn’t even know I’m gone. She took Ari to her mom’s for a few days.”