Page 36 of Like You Want It

“Now, close your eyes, and picture what you want the most or the most important thing in your life. Yourwhy.”

Her eyes glass up just slightly, but she closes them.

“Take a deep breath through your nose and out through your mouth. That’s it. Perfect. Now do that two more times.”

Her face muscles relax slightly on the third breath, which is exactly what I wanted from her.

“Okay, now, you’ve visualized your why?” She nods. “Perfect. Now repeat after me.I. Am. Enough.”

She’s silent.

“Come on girlfriend, it’s just me here. Nothing to be embarrassed about, I promise. Now, repeat after me.I. Am. Enough.”

“I am enough.”

“What I say and think matters.”

“What I say and think matters.”

“The people I surround myself with love and cherish me.”

“The people I surround myself with love and cherish me.”

“My past mistakes are a part of who I am today. And I am thankful for them.”

I hear her choke a little bit on the words as she repeats what I’ve said.

“My past mistakes are a part of who I am today. And I am thankful for them.”

“I will choose every day to believe that I am capable of great things.”

“I will choose every day to believe that I am capable of great things.”

“And I will remind myself that I am deserving of wonderful things in life.”

“And I will remind myself that I am deserving of wonderful things in life.”

“Now, take another three deep breaths. In through the nose and out through the mouth again.”

She follows my instructions, then opens her eyes.

“Feel any better?”

She bursts into tears.

Well… that wasn’t exactly the response I was hoping fo…

But before I can complete that thought, Susie launches herself at me, flings her arms around my neck and pulls me close.

I put one hand flat on the ground behind me to steady myself, but wrap the other one around her and rub her back, a small smile coming across my face.

«««« »»»»

The two of us watchSt. Elmo’s Fireand drink the whole bottle of Merlot, then Susie decides it’s time to share her story.

It takes two hours. Two emotional, raw, vulnerable hours where this beautiful, shy woman gives me the details of the life she had before rehab.

A life where she moved around and never had friends. A life where the one friend shedidmake was apparently manipulative and deceitful, though she stayed a bit vague about the whole thing.