Page 58 of Like You Want It

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CARLY

I don’t know what I was thinking this morning when I woke up, post-sexy time haze, the scent of Fin still in my nose and his taste on my tongue, but I can promise that spending the day with Fin and Susie and their parents in San Diego was not, not, not the plan.

“Want another donut?” Susie asks me from where she’s sitting in the front seat of Fin’s SUV.

I shake my head. “I’m all donut-ed out, thanks.”

She nods, then turns back to the front.

A curious creature, this Susie Q friend of mine is. One that is quickly coming out of her shell around me, which I love.

I woke to her knocking on my door.Do you want to come with us to San Diego?

I watch out the car window as we drive through Dana Point and San Clemente and Laguna – all those places you see on Bravo and MTV with housewives and interior designers andreal peopleliving in a house together.

God I miss reality TV. It was a goal of mine to get rid of my cable. Mostly because I couldn’t afford it, but also because it felt like a waste when I could stream most things.

But I scrapped reality TV all together. It felt ridiculous, keeping up with people that don’t matter. That are famous for, oftentimes, horrible things.

It was a part of a plan I had to better my mind. More reading, less ‘reality.’

When I mentioned it to dad at family dinner, he took it upon himself to tell me that college was the best way to improve my mind.

I roll my eyes just thinking about it.

Making good choices for me doesn’t always align with what dad and Caleb think are the right choices.

Although, I’m not sure if I can really say with true conviction that I’m super focused on making good choices for my life.

Take today, for instance.

When Susie asked me to go to San Diego, I said yes. There was almost no hesitation. No consideration that spending hours in a car, not to mention the entire rest of the day, with the man who was probably completely fine with how things ended last night might be a bad idea for me.

Instead, I allowed needy Carly to jump right in at the chance to be near him all day. Which is incredibly masochistic.

There’s always this voice in the back of my head that says stupid things likemaybe if you spend more time together, he’ll change his mind and totally want you to be his girlfriend.

It’s what we learn from those reality TV shows I miss and the wonderful movies that I love so much.

If the heroine puts herself in the path of the hero enough times, maybe he’ll fall for her. You know, once he sees that she’s actually exactly what is missing from his life.

I snort.

What a load of bullshit.

The idea that anything is going to happen today other than incredibly stunted and awkward conversation is a twisted dream.

He acknowledged me this morning with a terse hello.

Back to the gruff greetings so quickly, I see.

I wanted to glare back at him and be likedude, I had your dick in my mouth twelve hours ago!But I just gave him a big smile and asked if I needed to bring any snacks.

He’d looked extremely confused and told me no. But other than that, he’s barely glanced my way. I’m within his perfect line of eyesight in the back seat behind him, and he hasn’t looked at me once.

Even when I broke into a sneeze fit a little while ago. Didn’t look at all while he grabbed some tissue paper from his glove compartment and passed it back to me.