Page 108 of Like You Want It

He doesn’t respond again, and I don’t feel any one way about it. Instead, I focus my slightly skittish energy on getting home and quickly getting ready. Doing my hair and make up to Carly Palmer standards. Picking out the right outfit that’s sexy but doesn’t make Susie wonder why I’ve dressed like a prostitute to sit around and have dinner at her place.

I focus on making myself look like women on the cover of Cosmo. Accidentally sexy.

I succeed, going for the sexy athlete look. Tiny booty shorts with an oversized shirt. My hair up in a messy ponytail that looks sleep-tossed.

Perfect.

He’s not gonna know what hit him.

«««« »»»»

At first glance, making the decision to try and turn Fin on at Susie’s tonight seemed like a great plan. Make him squirm a little bit. Think about me naked. Get hard under the table and have to sit there for a while until it goes away.

But I didn’t count on two things that got my plan a little bit off track.

The first being that Fin might bring Nell with him to dinner, since he’s never done that before.

The second being that Fin would look so damn sexy tonight that I’d be the one squirming. Thinking about him naked. Getting turned on and trying to hide pointy nipples under my shirt.

Mistake, mistake, mistake.

I do catch his eyes on me, though. Frequently. Which shouldn’t seem any different than our normal interactions previously, when I would catch him eyeing me. But somehow, it is.

His eyes are heated, when before they were curious. Roving, as opposed to still.

At least we’re both miserable, watching each other eat pesto chicken and garlic bread across the table as Susie and Nell sit at the end, getting food everywhere and giggling together.

Our chemistry is sizzling hot, but from the moment I arrived at Susie’s, I’ve made the active choice not to focus too much on him. I actually curse my decision to provoke him, reminding myself that I still want to talk to Susie about it first.

“So, what prompted bringing Nell tonight?” I ask them both as I take a bite of garlic bread. “Is it time to introduce her toHarry Potter?”

Susie laughs. “She’s a little young, I think. But we’ll get there eventually, huh Nell Bell?”

Nell babbles enthusiastically.

“Fin and I worked out an overnight arrangement,” she clarifies, dipping her bread into the sauce still lining her plate. “I’ve been wanting to spend more time with Nell and start to build up my skills as a mom. I was pretty horrible before, so having her overnight once-in-a-while will help me learn what it will be like.”

I beam. “That’s so awesome. And sounds like a great way to start it off.”

She nods. “I figure, I can be embarrassed about the fact I used to be terrified, or learn to accept the fact that we’re all scared about different things. I’m trying to focus on teaching myself to be strong even when I’m scared.”

That sounds a lot like what Fin’s friend told him before he started taking care of Nell. When I glance at him, he gives me a wink and then bites into his own garlic bread.

We change topics at that, getting onto favorite books and movies. His isDie Hard, which I told him was completely unsurprising. But his reaction to my favorite movie is much more pronounced.

“You can’t be serious,” Fin says to me when I tell him my favorite movie of all time isSixteen Candles. “That movie is horrible.”

My mouth drops open, and my fork clatters to my plate.

“Excuse me?”

“It’s racist. And sexist.”

I make a noise that sounds oddly likenuh-uh, making me feel super mature.

“Okay, so let’s count it off then, shall we?” he says, lifting up a single finger. “The foreign exchange student has a gong that rings every time he’s mentioned.” Another finger. “It’s riddled with jokes about him being a Chinaman.” One more. “Both the hero and the best guy friend talk about assaulting the drunk prom queen girlfriend.” Fourth finger. “And Jake, the swoony heartthrob, even puts his passed out drunk girlfriend into a car with the best friend and tells him to have fun.”

“Okay, okay!” I shout, reaching across to place my hand over his. “I get it.”