Page 114 of Like You Want It

“You’ve really decided to embrace that new desire to talk about the hard topics, huh?”

She laughs. “You know, I think this is the one topic that doesn’t freak me out. Probably because I’ve dealt with all of this before. With Ashley. And you’re nothing like her, and I mean that in the best way possible.”

I sit back in my chair, and purse my lips, feeling fingers of impatience tickling at the base of my spine. I don’t want to wait on this super secret topic anymore. I want to know.

So I ask.

“What’s the deal with this Ashley person? She’s been mentioned a few times and it seems like Fin is really intense about it.”

Susie’s spine straightens, and I can read in her expression that her distaste for the topic, or the individual, is clear.

“Ashley is Fin’s ex-wife.”

My mouth drops open. “He was married?”

Susie nods, her mouth puckered with disdain. “Yup,” she replies, popping the end of the word like doing so would allow her to throw a dart at Ashley’s face. “She was my friend. Or, at least I thought she was. When I graduated high school I worked at the movie theatre because I didn’t know what I wanted to do. She also worked there, and wanted to be close friends and come over and hang out. I was so excited because I finally had like, afriend.” She shakes her head. “She knew my brother. Well, knewofhim. Wanted to bag herself a military man. So she spent nearly four months pretending to be my friend, until Fin came home from SEAL training and she sunk her claws in.”

My mouth, still wide open, remains so as I lean forward, eager to hear the rest.

“She and Fin started sleeping together. And then…” she pauses. “Well, they ended up getting married. It was not a good relationship, let’s just put it that way. She was a totally manipulative liar.”

She lifts Nell up. “Two weeks before their divorce was final, she slept with Noah.”

I gasp. “What?”

Then I look around, see a handful of eyes on me. I blush. Then turn back to Susie, whispering, “Are you serious?”

She nods. “She didn’t even really like him, either. It was just something else to dig at Fin because he wasn’t giving her what she wanted. Our family has a lot of issues. Trust and betrayal and using each other. It’s been hard for us to try and figure it out and not hate each other. But we’re trying.” She tilts her head side to side. “Most days, at least.”

I sink back into my seat, my mind flying all over the place, trying to piece things together. Reviewing every interaction. No wonder he doesn’t want a relationship or something serious. He was married to a she-beast. The type of woman that embarrasses us all.

“Wow. I think I just thought your family was… well, maybe not perfect. But you guys seem to love each other so much.”

She nods, giving me a soft smile. “We do. That’s why it all hurts so badly. And why we’ve been trying so hard to fix it.” Then she looks at Nell, lifts her up slightly so they’re looking eye-to-eye. “The most important relationships in your life are the ones youwant. The ones you choose even when everything falls apart.

I smirk. “Well, aren’t you becoming quite the philosopher.”

She shakes her head but smiles at me. “Oh if only that were true. It would be much easier to deal with my own life, then.”

We spend a little more time together, but eventually, the line starts to grow and I have to go back to help Jet.

But for the rest of the day, the only thing I can think about is Fin. Married. Cheated on. Divorced. Betrayed.

And I can’t help the little flicker of a hope flame in my chest that if I show him I’m not that person, maybe he’ll be able to see me differently.

«««« »»»»

The rest of the week goes by fairly quickly. I visit GP, though he thinks he’s gotten a visit from my mom. I teach yoga. I work on my cards.

And then, before I know it, it’s Sunday.

But not justanySunday. No. It’s the last Sunday of the month. Which means it’s time for the dreaded dinner at my dad’s house.

Part of me wonders why I give in to these dinners. Why I subject myself to the repetition of my father’s displeasure at the way I live my life.

Maybe I’m desperate for his approval. Maybe I’m somewhat of a masochist. I don’t know.

But I go. Like clockwork, making sure my schedule allows me to spend two hours with the parent who thinks I’m a weight that drags everyone down.