Page 77

Abby

The next day is great too. The interior is starting to resemble a store: the merchandise is already hanging in its place. The grand opening is on Saturday, but I have to be at school then. So many new things. New school, new job. New people. I’m a tad excited. Mandy has prepared a preliminary schedule, taking my college into account. Classes are on the weekend every other week. I have the weekend off from work, so from Monday to Friday, I work almost every day for nearly twelve hours. I only have the Wednesday off.

The university is great. People are of different ages—I didn’t expect that. Jack, who likes to be called Silver, and Mary are probably my parents’ age, but they’re awesome. I quickly found common ground with the coolest people. There are also a few stars from entertainment shows. Wow, that’s so cool. I’m thrilled like a kid. The world of film has always fascinated me, especially behind the scenes. I dream of getting on the set of a real film production someday. Preferably as a writer, director, and actor—all in one. I’ll do it. I feel it in my bones.

When I’m laughing with friends during the break, my phone rings. It’s from work.

“Hello?”

“Abbs, it’s Mandy. Listen, I know you’re at school, but it’s so busy here, and we can’t handle it. Could you come?”

I’m surprised by this request. I think for a moment.

“Mandy, I’ll call you back; give me a moment to think.”

“Sure, thanks. I’ll wait for your call.”

“Silver, I have to go; they’re calling me to work. I have a favor: could you sign me on the attendance list?”

“Sure thing, kiddo. No problem.” I kiss him on the cheek and rush out of the university.

In the car, I dial Mandy’s number, but she doesn’t answer. Maybe they’re really busy. She calls me back when I’m close.

“Hey, what’s the verdict?” she asks.

“I’ll be there in ten.”

“Damn, Abbs, you’re awesome!” she exclaims and hangs up.

There are so many cars at the car park that it’s hard to find a spot.

I run through the crowded mall, constantly bumping into people. While running, I also call Ve, but he doesn’t answer, so I send him a message:

Honey, they called me to work from school, so I don’t know what time I’ll be back, kisses!

I toss the phone into my bag.

When I enter the store, I can barely see Mandy. She’s at the cash register, but the queue stretches across the entire store. The same goes for the fitting room.

I approach her, and she says to Larry, “Please, quickly bring her up to speed and let her stand in the fitting room.”

“Hey, Abbs, it’s great that you’re here.” He greets me with a cheek kiss, surprising me completely. Perhaps he notices my confusion because he quickly adds: “Sorry, that’s custom. We all greet each other this way. You might not have known.”

“Yeah, I didn’t have a chance…” I say, wondering if I want to get so familiar with people at work. It’s different at university. No one forces it there—people are just nice, and I treat them like good friends. But this is work. I’m also not sure if Ve would be happy. I’ll tell him, and we’ll see.

“Okay, so you’ll stand by the fitting room. The rules are simple. You choose a fitting room, quickly check it. If there are no clips, hangers, and so on, then you take things from the customer, count them, hang them up, and give them a number.”

I nod in understanding.

“If the customer asks for a different size, call someone from the store. They’ll look for what you need and bring it to you. Then you give the customer the replacement. When the customer leaves, ask how things are, if they’re taking anything, what to take off their hands, and count the clothes returned. Hang them on the rack next to you. Someone else will occasionally clear the rack, putting things back in the store. Everything clear?”

“Yes.”

“Then switch places with Kathy.”

“Okay.”

The queue for the fitting room doesn’t seem to end. I don’t even notice when the day ends. It’s nine in the evening. The mall is being closed but there are still crowds of people in our store. The line at the checkout is getting longer with people coming out of the fitting rooms. I can barely stand on my feet.

The last customer leaves a couple minutes to eleven.

“What a day! But I like it when so much is happening. It’s madness! I didn’t even have time for a break. I only went to the bathroom once,” Mandy says, clearly pleased with herself.

I also haven’t had a break, and the last thing I ate today was breakfast. As for Mandy, I can’t quite make up my mind about her. I sense conflicting energies from her. On the one hand, she is caring and genuinely concerned, and on the other, I feel like there’s a lot of envy and inflated ego in her. It seems to me that inside, she’s that little, vulnerable girl, and on the outside, she’s trying to play the confident workaholic. Every addiction, including workaholism, is, in my perception, an attempt to mask emotions. Well, we’ll see who Mandy really is with deeper acquaintance.

After closing the doors, the manager thanks everyone for a job well done and asks if I can come tomorrow as well. I say that I definitely can’t in the morning because I have to be at school, but in the afternoon, it’s okay.

“That’s great. Be here by three.”

The car park is empty when I reach my car. I get in and drive off. Luckily, I don’t live far. I enter the apartment and practically collapse on the spot. Ve is already in bed.

“Hey, little angel. Uh, you look exhausted. Want some hot tea?” He walks closer, wraps his arms around me, and kisses me on the lips. I perk up under his touch. He must have some special connection to the cells in my body.

“I’d like that, please,” I reply, slipping out of his embrace. “I’ll take a quick shower in the meantime.”

I don’t even have the strength to eat. I drink the tea Ve prepared, brush my teeth, and lie down in bed. Ve cuddles up to me, and I reach my hand backward in search of his boxers. When I find their warm, pressing, hard content, I take him in my hand and fall asleep like that. It’s my favorite position. Holding him in my hand and feeling his warm body against my back, I feel safe.

The next day, Ve announces that he quit that—as he called it—messed up and regressive job.

“I understand. So, what’s your plan? We need to figure something out for you because I won’t be able to handle our studies and living expenses on my salary alone for the long term. Maybe go to a few places. Leave your CV, maybe even at the mall.”

“I’ll do that,” he replies.

Another week goes by, and Ve still hasn’t sorted anything out. Instead, I feel like with each passing day, we’re drifting further apart. Connor seems absent. When I come back, he’s already asleep. He didn’t even wait up for me. I finally have enough when, once again, I find him lounging around when I return from work.

“Connor, did you do anything about that CV?”

“Uh, I sent some. But, Abby, no one has called back.”

“Show it to me. I’ll improve it. I’m off tomorrow, so we’ll go, and you’ll personally hand it out,” I offer. “And did you buy bread like I asked?”

“Fuck, Gail, sorry. I forgot. I didn’t go to the store.”

“You didn’t go to the store. And those cigarettes fell from the sky right into your lap, eh?”

Connor’s face takes on an awkward expression. He doesn’t know what to say. I caught him lying again.

“It’s getting concerning, Connor. I’m leaving you money, asking for you to buy groceries. And knowing that I work for twelve hours a day and have no time to stop on my way back because everything in this town is already closed at this hour, you forget to buy groceries. But you remember to buy cigarettes! What have you been doing all day, anyway?”

“I was looking at job offers,” he replies, a bit irritated now.

“The last thing I ate was yesterday’s dinner. Thanks for being reliable.” I snort.

He says nothing. He just sits there. I take a bath, close my eyes, and think. The silence is interrupted by the sound of the bathroom door opening. Connor comes in and sits on the toilet.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry you’re hungry and that I messed up.”

“Tell me what’s going on. We need to talk to each other. I can’t guess what battles are going on in your head. All I see is that they’re there.”

“You know that communication is not my strong suit.”

“I know, you shut yourself up in that shell of yours and make me guess everything forever.”

I lift myself slightly, spread my arms, and call out to him: “Come here.”

He kneels by the tub, and I envelop him with my arms.

“I love you. Don’t worry. We’ll find you a job tomorrow.”

He says nothing, only buries his head in my wet, foamy arms.