Page 55

Abby

The day was exhausting. My clever plan misfired, and I got an F in Polish language at school. Damn. We both got F’s, me and Nikki, but I took the blame. It was my idea, after all, to switch groups. I did get a C in biology at least. But PE: that’s an A. All those unnecessary classes are tiresome. Why can’t I choose what I study? I’d pick Spanish, German, English, PE, music, art, film studies, writing, and photography. And instead, I’m squandering time on physics and biology. What was I thinking, going to a STEM class? Physics and IT-oriented. Yeah, I get IT. I like it. It’s simple. Graphics, writing, and so on. But physics? That was a bit too much. I already have three F’s in it. If it carries on like that, the teacher will fail me. I started out bad. The very first class last year, she threw me out, making me wash off my makeup. I told her I only had mascara on, but she just came over with that imperious expression and barked: “Then go wash off the mascara.” So I stood in front of the mirror like an idiot, scraping the mascara off my face. How was I supposed to deal with that? Fortunately, the woman took a liking to me later and didn’t even argue when I dyed my platinum blond hair that Grandma had helped me apply during the holidays to black. At least I have my charm. But today, the social studies teacher said, with the whole class listening: “Miss Brooks! Your notebook, please!”

“Which one?” I asked, surprised. There were like five on my desk.

“The one you were writing in just now so passionately.”

Fucking dumbass. Passionately. Stupid word. I got up and walked over to his desk, giving him the notebook. You should have seen his face when he saw I was actually making notes on what he was saying!

“Well, that’s good. Return to your seat,” he muttered.

Connor was supposed to pick me up from the bus stop after school. He didn’t. Instead, he sent one of his buddies who was going that way anyhow to tell me he wouldn’t be there. Fucking seriously? I can’t keep up with that man. One moment he’s incredible, another he does something like this.

I go to a store by the Den. To my astonishment, Ve’s sitting by the door. He sees me and walks my way, but I don’t feel like seeing him all of a sudden. I hoped against my better judgment that something serious had come up, but he was just lounging around the Den. As soon as he joins me, I see he’s either drunk or stoned.

“Really, Ve? It’s four in the afternoon. Middle of the week, and you’re hammered?”

“What’s wrong, kitten?” he slurs. His voice only confirms my fears. I don’t have the strength to deal with him anymore. He’s such a kid. “I love you, honey bunny. You’re my best little…” he mutters and pulls me in.

I hug him, but only because I missed him and had a really bad day.

“Want to be with me ’til the end of the world?” he asks. His eyes are glazed.

“No, because you’re pissing me off,” I snap and don’t need to wait for a reaction too long.

“Okay. I’ll keep reminding you of what you said forever.”

“Uhm.”

“Want to come to my place?”

“No! Why didn’t you come to the bus stop?”

“Oh, come on, don’t be like that.” He pretends he didn’t hear me.

He’s so annoying but at the same time so intoxicating. It’s hard to stay strong in my convictions with him around. I extend a hand, and he takes me home. We pass the door, and he’s instantly pulling me towards his room. There was nobody home. He locks the door and lies on the bed. I walk over and straddle him, pressing my thighs to his hips. Our hands brush against each other very softly. Ve kisses me on the lips and then goes lower, down my neck, making a shiver run down my spine.

“You’re so beautiful,” he says and looks at me with those eyes full of goodness, with irises that take up all the space beneath his eyelids.

His pupils are so small. I know he’s stoned. I don’t like it. He wasn’t supposed to do that anymore. But he’s coming off it and acts so nice. He brushes away a strand of my hair, tucking it behind my ear.

“I love you so much. You’re mine, you hear?”

“Yes, I’m yours. I love you, Ve.”

He lays me on the mattress, pulls down my pants, pulls the briefs to the side, and licks my sensitive spot. Then two of his fingers plunge into me. He moves them in and out, kissing my clit. It’s soft and sweet, but also greedy.

“I love that sweet little pussy.”

My body grows rigid, and I forget about all the worries that occupied my head. It’s so relaxing and freeing.

“Your lips are magic. You put a spell on me with your tongue,” I purr, still in the throes of ecstasy.

Ve hovers over me. I spread my legs for him and he gently slides inside. It’s different than before. I wrap my legs around his waist and lift my hips, meeting him halfway. He enfolds me with himself, soft and gentle, like I was made out of glass. His kisses are fiery, though, and passionate. The energy now filling the small room is crystal clear. Ve loses himself in me, lost in the moment. He raises his head and looks me in the eyes as he comes. He’s throbbing inside me and then pulls out and shoots his seed on my belly. He wipes it off, lies down, and embraces me.

I’d love to understand him. There are so many conflicting things in him. One moment he can be so wonderful, and then his mood changes without any reason. Come to think of it, I’m like that too. Maybe that’s why we keep pushing and pulling. In my earlier “relationships”, I got involved so much that it drained me. With every disappointment I trusted less and less, finally becoming very cautious about showing my feelings. With Ve, each of his lies and every disappointment is burning a larger hole in my heart. Sometimes I think it will grow too big to patch up one day.

In the morning I went to the dentist. It went fast and painless, and I managed to get to school on time. However, after a couple lessons the anesthesia wore off and the toothache became unbearable. I called Dad, who told me to go right back to the dentist to check what happened.

On my way, I walk into Ralph. The conversation is tiring—he’s acting jealous. I don’t care a bit, so I quickly finish the pointless chat, leave the guy, and head towards the dentist’s office. Right that instant, some asshole drives through the middle of a deep puddle and splashes me all with dirty water. Great , I mutter.

The dentist is already waiting. The visit doesn’t take long. After it’s done, I go back to my area of town. My legs take me straight to the Den. I’m counting on Ve being there. Unfortunately, he’s already left, so I decide to meet him at the bus stop. It’s so sweet that he always picks me up. It’s less sweet that he skips classes, but it still warms my heart that whenever I leave the building, I see him waiting for me. I reach the bus stop as the bus comes.

“There you are, babe!” Ve pops up out of the blue and gives me a big hug. “Nikki told me you left because of some tooth problem? Everything alright?”

“Yes, I couldn’t stand it, but it’s okay now. I went to the Den but you weren’t there. I couldn’t let you know things got messy because my phone was down. I’m sorry you had to wait.”

“It’s okay. I’m just glad you’re good now.” He kisses me on the cheek and tightens his embrace.

“I ran into Ralph. We had a chat.” The words fly out of my mouth so fast and quiet they’re barely audible. But I need to get this over with. Ve releases me and sends me a look. His jaw tightens, working steadily.

“Why the fuck would you talk to him? You miss him?” And here we go again.

“I can’t predict everything. What was I going to do? Run away? Think for a second.”

“Couldn’t you tell him to fuck off?” he snaps.

“There was no need for that. The whole thing took about five seconds. Stop being angry. You’ve got to trust me. Besides, I always tell you about everything.” I smile widely and wrap my arms around his shoulders, looking him in his eyes and placing a wet kiss on his lips. He submits and I feel the tension leaving his body. His tongue pushes between my lips and slithers into my mouth. We’re lost in the moment.

“If we don’t stop right now, I’ll have to take you here and now. My dick is rock-hard. And people are staring.”

I make a sound. Nothing clear, just a grunt. Ve grabs me by the wrist and pulls me along.

“What’s the plan for today?”

“I have to go to my cousin’s, but Dad said he will take me. I’ll let you know as soon as I’m back. Will you be at home or at the Den?”

“With the boys, I reckon.”

We part ways by my block. I stand in place a while longer, watching him disappear.

After dinner, Dad takes me to my cousin’s. He is supposed to help me with physics. I’m totally out of my depth.

“You’re not staying at home alone today.” Dad’s voice cuts through the silence that has fallen in the car.

“Why?” I ask.

“Because I’m afraid someone will come over while we are at Daisy Valley.”

“What? You’re paranoid. I always lock the door.”

“Yes, but if a ‘friend’ wanted to come in, you’d let him.”

Jesus, this can’t be happening. Is he being serious now? His words have a hidden meaning.

“You need to be careful. I know what hormones can do to your head at your age,” Dad is saying. “I know what they did to me.”

Holy shit, this chat is getting pretty awkward. I’m not in the mood for it.

“I know,” I retort.

“What did you just say?” The shock on his face is ridiculous. He looks like he’s seen a ghost.

“What? I’m right here, aren’t I? It isn’t hard to count the years.” He’s so dumbstruck, he’s just sitting there. “Don’t worry. I don’t intend to follow your example,” I add to finish his suffering.

“Do you have intercourse?”

Ha, that’s a good one!

“You have to be kidding if you think I’ll tell you.”

“I’d like to know.”

“Well, you won’t.”

“Jesus, Abigail, don’t rush it.”

“Stop freaking out about it!”

Luckily, we’re close to home now. I rush out of the car as soon as it stops. Mom is in the kitchen, cleaning. She asks me about school. Fuck, I hate questions like that. Why bother when you’ll get the intended effect anyway?

“I got a C on the test.”

“Oh,” she says, making a face that makes me want to end this chat this very moment.

“What? Too low?”

“For all the money I’m paying for your private lessons, yes. Too low.”

I say nothing to that. Her reaction is the worst. I was happy I got a C. The topic was so wide, half my classmates failed it. So I was one of the few who didn’t. But Mom doesn’t care for details like that. Better clip my wings. Great parental support. Fuck this. Let them go already. I’m tired of them.

Mom’s behavior soured my mood. All those thoughts saying I’m not good enough attack me all over again. When Ve comes, I’m so depressed it would be better for me to spend the night alone, without the risk of contaminating anyone with my horrible mood.

“What’s going on, babe?” he asks with concern. Even though I don’t have much power left in me, I tell him everything. “I’m sorry. Come on, bring it in,” he says and covers me with the duvet. I snuggle in his warm embrace and fall asleep.

Sleep helps, as usual. In the morning, I’m up and beaming. I don’t know if it was the sleep or the fact that Ve was with me the whole night. Or maybe it was the sharing of my pain. Any one of those things could be the reason. I’ve never confided in anyone. I never told people what I felt. With him, it’s different. I want to tell him everything. It’s so cathartic. His presence is a love elixir with extra healing powers.