Page 35

Abby

The day ticks away, with us catching the last rays of sun and packing up our stuff. Of course, with all that we spent on clothes during the trip, we have exactly nothing to spend on food for the way back, so we’ll have to get by with what the hotel gives us. We also exchange postcards, writing something nice to one another. My card has all kinds of texts saying things like: “For my great girl!” and so on. There’s one that got me thinking, though, at the very bottom: “You’ve changed, gone quieter, withdrawn”. That’s the truth. I noticed it myself. I was always the one to inspire others to do things and fool around. I used to smile all the time and be happy. But I’ve felt different lately, like I’m losing a part of myself. Was that really me, though, or did I just develop a habit meant to protect me from being ridiculed, humiliated, or left out. I’m shy by nature, after all, but I can also fight for myself. There’s no telling what causes those behaviors. Maybe I’ve become myself only now. Maybe I don’t need to be the life and soul of the party. Maybe I don’t need parties at all. Maybe he’s chipping away at my facade, uncovering who I am at heart, making me become myself? I doubt Ve knows me through and through, though. I don’t know…

Around nine in the evening we go to the beach one last time. An hour later we join the rest of the group. We’re back at the hotel by midnight. Ivy and I, that is. Iris and Vicks went to the bar with the boys. We’re about to board the bus soon. There’s still a stop at Avignon on the way back. Can’t say why. Who cares about that dump? I need to get back already!

The bus arrives with the next batch of people from our town. They’ll take our places at the hotel. I find Madeline. She likes to hang out at the Den with the guys, so I pester her with questions. She calms me down. Right after we finish talking, Ve texts me. This time I’m sure it’s him!

Hey there, honey bear. Listen: nobody, not one person will destroy what we have. The only one who can do this is you.

You know I always do what I want and never regret anything. And you know what and who I want.

My eyes water. My vision blurs. There’s a pleasant warmth in my heart. It’s so blissful. Those are the most beautiful words he’s ever sent me. I want to shout at the top of my lungs: “I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!”

We’re on our way, but I don’t feel like talking to anyone. I put on headphones and listen to “The Real Slim Shady”.

My happiness doesn’t last. Another batch of texts comes, talking about Ve going cold turkey. He received blood test results before I left. Now he’s going from hospital to hospital, but he didn’t want to tell me. Didn’t want to ruin my vacation. He keeps dropping things, hitting his head on the wall. Only his dad knows about all this.

I’m so worried. I had no idea! I don’t know what happens to people suffering from withdrawal. How do I help him? I can’t allow him to wreck his life and touch that shit anymore! We’ll get through this together!

Finally, we arrive home. Lucas is already waiting for Ivy. My mom has come for me. I say goodbye to my friends, and Mom takes me with her to buy groceries. Meanwhile, I conclude that I won’t be able to last until eleven. I’m not going to wait for Ve. I’ll go visit him instead. At home, I take a bath, change into new clothes, and run straight to him. I’ve been awake for the past forty hours. I couldn’t sleep so I listened to music the whole way to keep myself from thinking too much. I’m drained, but I’ll manage.

When I approach the door, my knees are weak and my heart is literally trying to burst from my chest. I knock, and there he is—my Ve. I slam into him and embrace him as hard as I can.

“I’ve been missing you so much! I love you so much,” I whisper.

He draws me close, his feelings for me apparent.

“My angel,” he says and kisses me on the lips. “Let’s go inside.”

“Good morning,” I call out. I can’t be sure anyone’s home.

“Good morning,” Connor’s mom replies.

At the very same instant, Ve grabs me by the hand and takes me to his room.

“Talk to me. What happened? I was going crazy! I was so afraid!”

“It’s alright now, kitty cat. I simply went to Willy’s and stumbled on some dipshits from West Estate on my way back. But it’s nice you were worried for me.”

“I was worried? Ve, I nearly died out there!” I cry out. “Do you have any idea what it’s like to be thousands of miles away without any way to call you when things like that happen? I broke into a thousand pieces!”

There are tears rolling down my cheeks. Ve kisses each and every one of them, hugging me.

“What about the text messages? Did you get to the bottom of that?” I ask after a while.

“To be honest, no.”

He really didn’t believe me. He ignored it! Or maybe he was just focused on his own issues and really was visiting all those physicians.

“Here. Read them yourself. Maybe you’ll make something of it,” I say and hand him my phone.

He takes a good while to read them. He returns the cell with a frown.

“I’m so sorry, Abby. I have no idea who did this, but none of those things are true. I love you. You have my heart in your hands. Do you understand?”

He places a sweet kiss on my lips.

“By the way… I missed you so much too. Nobody has ever made me feel this way.”

I snuggle in his arms, listening to the beating of his heart, and fall asleep.

The next day is weird. Ve is cold, indifferent. I can clearly sense the change in him. Is something bothering him or am I just a nuisance?

“Are you going to come for me tomorrow?” I ask.

“Don’t know. We’ll see,” he mutters. I instantly grow sad.

“You going home now?”

He shrugs, pecks me on the cheek, and that’s that. He’s gone.

Maybe he’s having a bad day. Yesterday he seemed really happy to see me. But I’m not going to sit around and mope all day. I call Ivy.

“Hey, you around? I could use a stroll, if that’s okay with you.”

“Sure thing. What’s going on?” she asks softly.

“I’m not sure…”