Page 84 of Ceremony of Lust
Yael
This isn’ta place I want to be but I’m here.
I’m not sure how I feel about what I witnessed either. My husband is now the Chief Elder of Ripley. In fact, he’s the only Elder.
Zev grips my elbow and looks around the chamber. Everyone is staring at us. “I’ll explain everything,” he whispers harshly. “Go to the Chief Elder’s chamber and wait for me.”
I shake my head with disbelief. This can’t be happening. “Are your parents here?”
His eyes close. “Yes, they’re up front.”
I brush past him and walk down the aisle, my eyes forward, until I make it to the front row. I breathe out with relief as I spot Zev’s parents from the corner of my eye and they separate, making room for me between them. As soon as I’m seated, Beverly Landau reaches for my hand and much to my surprise, Thomas Landau takes the other.
The heels of Zev’s shoes click against the marble floor as he walks back toward the altar and resumes his position beside Hadassah. They exchange a look and with a single nod of Zev’s head, the ceremony continues.
“Brothers and sisters let us pray for the new Chief Elder,” she says.
Zev drops to his knees and she moves behind him, placing her hands above his head. Her lips move rapidly in an ancient chant, in a language I rarely hear. This is something I’ve never witnessed but Zev seems cool and unaffected. Until he dares to open his eyes and they land on me. There is pain and regret in them but also a hardened resolve. Whatever he’s planning, the hard set of his jaw tells me I cannot persuade him to stop.
Once Hadassah formally ends the ceremony and dismisses the congregation, Zev bolts from the altar, right toward me.
“We need to talk.” His voice is a husky growl. He nods to his parents and then takes hold of my hand, dragging me toward the door leading to the Chief Elder’s chamber.
It’s been almost a week since he left home, since he left divorce papers and his wedding ring on my pillow. I have so many questions to ask but they all disappear the moment we cross the threshold of his new office and he presses me against the door. His hands slide around my waist, his head dips slightly and his mouth crushes mine, hard. My hands lift between our bodies and wrap around the lapel of his suit jacket, steadying myself against the surge of desire coursing through my body as we connect in an explosive kiss.
When we break a part, he rests his forehead against mine. “I’ve missed you,” he rasps out. His hand tightens around my waist and he brushes another searing kiss across my lips.
How can this man possibly want a divorce when he kisses me like this?
“Zev, what’s going on,” I whimper. “Why on earth did you become the Chief Elder?”
He releases me, steps back but reaches out his hand, which I take before he leads us to a plush, cream-colored couch.
“Being your husband was not my only destiny.” We settle onto the couch, with me tucked against him, and his arm stretched out behind me. With my head against his chest, I can hear thethump-thumpof his beating heart.
“Who told you that?”
“Hadassah,” he says plainly.
“I see.”
“I know what you’re thinking, sweetheart.”
“You have no idea what I’m thinking.”
He shifts us so I’m no longer leaning against him, but sitting up, with his arms locked around me, his eyes staring down at me. A single tear slips down his cheek. I’m desperate to kiss it away, to kiss him, but his hold on me is firm. “The guilt over what I’ve done for these men. The crimes I’ve covered up, the crimes I’ve committed on their behalf… it all eats away at me, Yael. How can I be a good husband or a good father when I’ve been complicit in so many crimes?”
“Because love is powerful, Zev,” I manage to whisper.
“Powerful enough to redeem a sinner?”
“Yes,” I breathe out.
His hands brush against my cheeks then slide down my neck and onto my shoulders before he gathers me against him.
But something starts to eat away at me, forcing me to push myself away. “What about the divorce, Zev?”
“It was meant to protect you.”