Page 75 of Ceremony of Lust

“Not yet. He said this particular case was difficult and he wouldn’t be able to call often,” I tell her, replaying the conversation we had before he left in my head.

She hums. “It seems unusual for him to take a job like that. He’s usually not gone for long, right? Even when he lived at home, it was only a few days at most.” Her large eyes, the same color as Zev’s, meet mine. It seems like she wants to say something, but she just picks up her cup and silently sips her tea.

“My grandmother said there was a rumor about Zev attacking women in Ripley. Do you think he could really do that?”

She sets her cup down, her hand shaking slightly. “My son isn’t an angel. He has a dark past, but I don’t think he’s capable of such violence. He’d never do something like what’s been done.”

Her love for Zev is strong, a true mother’s love, and her confidence helps to erase some of my own doubts and fears. “He told me how the Elders helped him, and what he does in return. I know he wants to stop doing those things.”

The expression on her face is hard to read. She seems both worried and sad yet, I also see pride. “You’ve changed him.”

I shake my head. “Maybe, but I think he truly wanted to change.”

After that, the conversation seems to fall away and we both seem content to only exist in the silence of the house.

When we’re cleaning up, my mother-in-law turns and unexpectedly asks, “You don’t think he’s capable of these heinous crimes, do you?”

“No, I don’t,” I answer firmly and truthfully.

“That’s good to hear,” she murmurs.

After almost a year of marriage, I know my husband has the abilities to hurt and inflict pain. My hand drifts to my belly. What if this baby has made him desperate enough to take matters into his own hands?

The truth has been swimming in my head for days. I know he’s not working; I know there isn’t some complicated case so far out of town he can’t call. He’s finally toppling the archaic system keeping Ripley and its traditions alive. And if he’s really doing that, he might not come back.

She covers my hand with hers and looks at me with sympathetic eyes. As if she can read my mind, she says, “He’s going to come back. You’re the best thing that ever happened to him. He needs you more than you know.”

I give her a weak smile. “I feel the same way about him.” One hand presses reflexively to my belly. “We both need him.”

42

Zev

“I know your future.”

I laugh in Hadassah’s face. There’s always been some element of the supernatural with her. Maybe she really does have a gift, but no way does she know my future.

“You don’t know shit,” I tell her. “And I shouldn’t have come here.”

“You’re supposed to lead Ripley,” she insists. “You have the means to topple the Chief Elder and the rest of the Elders. You can take the power from them and keep it for yourself. It’s the only way to keep your family safe.”

“What did you say?” I hiss. Few people know about Yael’s pregnancy.

Hadassah smiles. “I know Yael is finally pregnant. The ancient ones told me.”

My eyes narrow, and I take a step toward her. “The ancient ones can fuck off. I don’t want to lead this goddamn place. I want to end it.”

“And so you shall,” she says with finality.

My head shakes because this isn’t the reason I came to see her. I don’t want to take over and lead Ripley. I don’t want to be an Elder, and I definitely don’t want to be the Chief Elder even though it would give me the means to change everything about the unorthodox and ancient lifestyle we seem to live.

“I want to know why you picked me. I know Anders bribed you, but you still chose me. Why?”

Her face changes. “I knew Yael’s match would be older and darker, but the darkness didn’t come from evil. It came from pain and regret. Only one man in Ripley carries that kind of darkness.You.”

I’m struck by her words. For years, my darkness was a weapon, and now, it’s the thing that brought Yael to me.

Hadassah continues, “Anders is a horrible man. It’s why the ancient ones have punished him. I could not allow Yael to marry him. I freely and gladly took his money and made him promises I had no intention of keeping, but I did the right thing matching the two of you together. The ancient ones have protected me from his wrath, but I won’t be able to escape him forever.”