Page 59 of Ceremony of Lust
“You made us come all the way here just to tell us that?” my brother Ari mutters with a roll of his eyes. Ari is the hothead of the family, more so than me. He’s only a year younger than me, but he has the biggest chip on his shoulder by far.
“We’re leaving Ripley,” I say, my eyes directly on my brother.
“Why do we need to know that?” my youngest sister, Isabella, asks. She is the youngest of my siblings and probably the happiest in her role as a wife. She was matched with someone close to her age, and so far, it’s worked out well for her.
My parents don’t look happy because they know the truth. Yael’s grandmother maintains a passive expression as if she’s waiting to hear everything before making any judgments.
“There is something you don’t know about me,” I begin before launching into an explanation of my indiscretions. My parents shift uncomfortably in their seats, and Yael’s grandmother’s face transforms with her growing disappointment. All of my siblings except one look at me with expressions of outrage and disgust.
“We’re telling you this because there might be some backlash,” Yael says gently. “We don’t want you to be hurt by our decisions.”
“I don’t understand why you have to move,” my mother comments.
Yael and I sigh simultaneously. She looks at each of my sisters. “I’m sure you know the enormous pressure we face to have children, and as you can tell, that hasn’t happened for us yet.”
“So you’re running away?” my other sister, Jacqueline, states with anger. “You think you’re better than us? You need to follow the protocols and the rituals.”
“No,” I say firmly. “Yaelwill notgo through the Fertility Ritual. I will not allow it.”
“I did,” Jacqueline wails angrily. “I did what was expected of me and paid the price. What makes your wife any different than me or anyone else?”
“I’m not,” Yael blurts. I glance toward her and notice her glassy eyes. She swipes at her cheeks even though she hasn’t shed tears. “The only thing that makes me different is my husband. I’m sorry you had to go through the Fertility Ritual. I have an idea of what you endured, and I’m also sorry your husband did not protect you. But you must know your brother is different than most men in Ripley.”
My arm slips around her shoulders, and I tug her closer, planting a kiss on top of her head.
“I do have some leverage,” I tell them all softly. “I know things about the Elders, about their private lives, and about the private lives of others in Ripley who might be loyal. If they hurt you or retaliate against you in any way, I will bring them down. Fuck the community and our traditions. They’re worthless if all we do is hurt people.”
Throughout our family meeting, Yael’s grandmother has been silent. It’s not hard to read the distress on her face, but as outspoken as my family is, her silence is powerful. “Mrs. Blum,” I address her. “What do you think?”
She taps her gnarled fingers on the table before finally looking up at us. “Thank you for protecting my granddaughter,” she says. “The only thing I care about is her happiness. If I had known you were going to put her in danger, I would have told her to reject the match. I’d rather see her shunned than hurt. But Yael seems happy, and that’s all I want. So, Yael, if you’re happy—if this is what you want—I will support you.”
My mother and father exchange a look and then join hands. “We will support you, too,” my mother says. “You’ve been alone for so long, and now you have someone to share and start a life with. We see the change in you, Zev. If you and Yael feel it’s necessary to move to the city to start your family, we will be there for you both.”
“Thank you,” I say, sighing with relief. “This is about more than Yael getting pregnant. The Elders will always call on me to do their bidding, and they’ve been more and more aggressive. The Chief Elder has taken an interest in Yael, and I fear he will try to hurt her. So this move is also for our safety. I know what I did was wrong, and I will atone for these sins every day of my life, but my penance has been paid in full, and I need to move on.”
Ari stands, rising to his full height. “My life doesn’t revolve around you, Zev. My family is my business, and if your actions have consequences, I hope you’re the one to face them. The Elders know I’m loyal to this community. I doubt they will try to hurt me.”
He storms away, and soon after, Isabella and Jacqueline follow. I’ve lived a life apart from them for so long, it’s easy to understand why they don’t think my choices could ever affect them. I hope they’re right. The only one of my siblings to remain is James. He’s been quiet the entire time. At last, he looks up at us with a slight smile on his face. “I’m happy for you, Zev. Yael seems like a good match. You have my support as well.”
Later that evening, when everyone is gone and Yael is curled against me in bed, her body feels tense. “What’s on your mind?” I ask quietly.
“Your sister was raped, but it seemed your family didn’t care,” she says plainly.
“I can only fight one battle at a time, and right now, we’re waging one hell of a war on the Elders and everything Ripley stands for. When we’re settled, I’ll find a way to help her if she wants it.”
Yael pops up on her elbow and looks down at me. “That’s not good enough, Zev. Get your parents to help or your brother James. He seemed sensible. You don’t have to help her by yourself.”
With one hand, I reach up and tuck a long dark lock behind her ear before letting my fingers flutter over her cheek. “You’re an extraordinary woman, Yael Landau. No other man would have been a match for you. Sometimes, you make me feel unworthy to be your husband, but I’m honored.”
Any other man would have seen her as a challenge, someone they could break. They would have tried to make her submit because this is what men of Ripley have been taught. A woman must obey her husband. Admittedly, I might have felt this way in the past, but not now. I know the gift I was given and choose to honor my wife by treating her with dignity, respect, and maybe, affection.
33
Yael
For weeks,the process of purchasing a home distracts me from everything else in my life. My life is consumed by lawyers, real estate agents, and mortgage brokers. It’s the perfect distraction from the thoughts of pregnancy that nearly consumed me, but it does nothing to prevent me from thinking about my frequently absent husband.
“The Elders are demanding a lot of me right now,” he says one night, when he’s finally home long enough for me to see him. “I have to do as they say. Otherwise, there’s no way out.”