Page 57 of Ceremony of Lust

When the doors close, Zev and I both sigh with relief. I sag just as he rushes forward to catch me.

“Did he hurt you?” he murmurs into my air as I cling tightly to him.

I shake my head. “He just touched me a little.” Zev stiffens, but his grip on me remains firm. “I’m fine,” I lie.

“How could you be fine when he came here with the intent to rape you?”

My eyes close as I cringe, thinking about how close I was to letting that happen. If Zev hadn’t shown up when he did, who knows what would have happened.

“I know,” I say as I slip out of his embrace. Slowly, I walk toward the kitchen and pour myself a glass of water. As the cool liquid slides down my throat, all I can think about is how close I was to being raped and how my body refused to budge an inch. From the corner of my eye, I spot Zev leaning against the doorway with his arms folded across his chest. “You showed up in the nick of time.”

“But what if I hadn’t, Yael? What would you have done?”

My hand trembles as I place my glass in the sink. “What are you saying?”

His hands run through his hair; tension and anger are written all over his face. “I don’t know what I’m trying to say. I’m sorry.”

He reaches toward me, but I resist the desire to immediately cling to him. “Can I ask you something? Did you send the Elders proof our marriage was consummated?”

“Who told you that?”

His question sounds like a denial, and it angers me. “Did you send them pictures of bloody sheets?”

His silence is all the answer I need.

I move forward, but of course, my husband won’t let me pass. His arm darts out and snags me around the waist. “Don’t run away from me,” he growls. “If you want to accuse me of something, go ahead and do it.”

“How could you do something like that?” I ask, looking up at him as unexpected tears stream down my cheeks.

“It was expected of me. Every man in Ripley does it.”

“I don’t care what every man in Ripley does or doesn’t do. I married one man, trusted one man.You. I thought you were different.”

His hand falls away. “I’m sorry to disappoint you, Yael.”

I look up at him through narrowed eyes. “What do you do for them?”

“Their dirty work,” he says before he walks away.

32

Zev

Yael is cryingin the bathroom. Her quiet sobs are muffled by the door, but the sound still manages to wake me. I sit up in bed, glancing at her side. Maybe being alone is what really woke me. My body is already accustomed to her presence; perhaps it knew she was no longer near. Soft light streams underneath the door, giving the bedroom a kind of ghostly glow. I swing my legs over the side of the bed, stand and pad over to the bathroom.

“Yael,” I call out softly with a gentle tap on the door. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

I try the handle, but it’s locked.

“Please go away,” she whispers.

“I can’t do that. You’re crying.” I press my hand against the door as if somehow, I can feel her. “I’m sorry he touched you.”

There’s a soft shuffling sound followed by a click, and then the door opens a crack. I push it open and step inside. Yael’s dark hair is loose around her face, and her eyes are red and swollen.

“I couldn’t move,” she says quietly. “I couldn’t move or speak. He could have done anything to me, and I would have let it happen because I was frozen.”

Even though she may push me away, I rush toward her, gathering her in my arms. “You did nothing wrong,” I assure her as I run my fingers through her hair. “And I’m sorry about what I said earlier. I wasn’t thinking.”