Page 79 of Ceremony of Lust
This man is cold and cruel.
When I step out of the shower, I’m surprised to see him leaning against the vanity, a white towel wrapped around his trim hips. He hands me a matching towel, and I take it from him.
“Where is my husband?” I demand.
“Right in front of you, sweetheart.”
“Don’t call me that,” I spit.
He covers his face with his hands, and when he looks at me again, his face is transformed. “I’m fucking this up,” he says flatly. “I don’t want to argue with you, Yael. I just want one night with you back in my arms, with your skin against mine, with your legs wrapped around me.”
“I want that, too,” I breathe out. “But I don’t want to be kept in the dark.”
“You’ll know the truth soon enough. For now, it’s best if you stay in the dark a little while longer.”
He advances slowly, releasing the knotted towel from around his waist and letting it fall away. There are still water droplets on his hard chest, causing me to reflexively lick my lips. He reaches out, and with nothing more than a flick of his fingers, the towel covering me joins his on the floor.
“You’re so beautiful,” he says in a husky breath right before his hand slides up the column of my throat, and he swallows my breath with a kiss. My hands wrap around his forearm, holding on for dear life, afraid of letting go because part of me thinks this is all a dream. I’ve missed him so much, perhaps my brain is playing cruel tricks on me.
He tears his mouth from mine and drops his hand.
“Yael, I have to tell you something.”
“Come to bed,” I suggest, grabbing him by the hand and leading him back to the bedroom.
“No.” He shakes his head. We stop in the middle of the room. “I have something to say, and I need you to understand.”
“Okay,” I say with a nod, pulling a lavender silk robe across my body.
He crosses the room and sits on the chair closest to the fireplace. It’s been my favorite spot lately, and when he sinks down into it, his eyes close, and there’s a tiny smile on his lips. His eyes pop open, and he says, “I think I’m in love with you.”
My chest swells with emotion. I open my mouth, eager to tell him how I feel, but he holds up a hand.
“Let me finish,” he tells me. “I know I love you. It’s the only way I can describe how I feel. I need you to understand everything that’s about to happen does not change how I feel about you. I also need you to understand what I’m doing is to protect you and our family. If anything happened to you, Yael—”
His voice cracks, and a single tear rolls down his cheek. Rushing forward, I fall to my knees in front of him and gather his hands in mine.
“I love you, too,” I tell him through my own tears. “I’m so in love with you, Zev. It kills me to be apart from you again, but I trust you. I’ve always trusted you.”
His fingers brush along my jaw and over my lips. “Then you’re a fool, sweetheart.”
44
Yael
He’s gone.
When I wake up, Zev is gone. His side of the bed is so cold it’s as if he was never even there. The only sign he came home last night is the thick envelope sitting on top of his pillow. My name is scrawled on top with a simple yet cryptic message underneath: “I’m sorry.”
My fingers tremble as I open it. Something tumbles out, catching the sunlight streaming through the windows. It’s his wedding ring. I slip it over my thumb and pull out the contents of the envelope.
Divorce papers.
My heart stutters before the first crack comes, tearing it right in half. No. This isn’t happening. This can’t be happening. I scan the document and realize he’s already signed them.
I slap the papers down onto the mattress. Even though I want to cry, I’m angry. I’m furious. How could he do this? How could he finally confess his love for me and then leave something so cruel behind?
I reach for my cell phone on the bedside table and dial his number. It doesn’t ring through. Instead, I get a pre-recorded message telling me the number is no longer in service.