Page 17 of Ceremony of Lust
I shrug at my grandmother’s suggestion and continue flipping through the pages. “Grandmother, is this what the seven days of courtship were like for you? Did you sit around waiting for Grandfather to arrive?”
She sets down the catalog and looks up, a smile ghosting her lips. “Your grandfather was very attentive. He always had the best cuts of meat sent over or the best wine. He wanted my parents to know I would have the best of everything. We feasted like kings during those seven days.”
My engagement ring catches the sun, and for a moment, I’m enthralled by the twinkle of the diamonds. “But you saw him every day?” I murmur.
“Oh, yes. He always had dinner with us.”
“Ugh!” I moan, frustrated with Zev’s disappearance. My fingers wrap around my engagement ring and tug it off. I place it in the pocket of my sweater, and announce, “I’m going for a walk.”
My grandmother is lost in the catalog, enchanted by all the fine furnishings I’m being offered.
Before leaving the house, I place my engagement ring in the top drawer of my dresser and then slip on a pair of shoes. I’ve been sitting around, waiting, and all it does is make me restless, especially when another day is about to end, and Zev is still missing in action.
My feet carry me down the street, through the center of Ripley. It’s a town lost in the past. Every store is family-owned without a single chain restaurant or big box store in sight. It’s charming, the quaintness of it all, but once you realize what happens behind closed doors, the charm is lost. Even though I’ve never been outside of Ripley, I know what life is like for normal girls my age. Gossip and cell phones and parties. They have so much freedom, including the ability to wear whatever they want. I look down at my long skirt and contemplate the fact that I don’t even have the chance to pick out my own wedding dress. Zev will choose it for me.
“Yael!” I hear my name being called, and instantly, I stop and turn. Zev is across the street, dressed in his uniform of black. There is no smile on his face as he calls out again and then eventually, crosses the street. “Yael, what are you doing out so late?”
The sun shines down on him, illuminating the hint of gold in his dark hair, and I can’t help but laugh at his question. “Late? Zev, the sun is still out, and I haven’t even had dinner yet.”
He looks at his watch and chuckles. “You’re correct. It’s still early. I’ve been so busy, I completely lost track of time.”
“Obviously,” I mutter.
“What did you say?”
I look away, and answer, “Nothing.”
He grasps my chin firmly between his fingers and turns my face toward him. “Have you missed me, Yael?”
“No,” I say firmly. “But I didn’t expect you to disappear during this time. You embarrassed me at community service on Sunday by not showing. My grandmother says my grandfather was very attentive during their seven days of courtship.”
He shifts his weight and looks me straight in the eye. His eyes are the color of the cognac my grandfather used to enjoy. “You’re right. I’m sorry. My job has been more demanding than usual.” The annoyed expression on his face is quickly replaced with a more relaxed expression. “Let me walk you home, and you can show me what furniture you’ve picked out. I’ll order it tonight.”
Having him beside me in the flesh is reassuring. I know what is said about him; he is cruel and violent. There are rumors he’s even killed someone, but I do not feel fear in his presence. I feel anxious because I want him to look at me, to touch me. And when he finally does, when his hand briefly reaches for mine, and we connect, there is a spark. It ignites and engulfs me, and I want to feel more.
“Yael, can I ask you a question?” he says before we reach my house. “Did something happen during the Purification Ritual?”
I stop and go cold. “Why would you ask that?”
He faces me, but his eyes look everywhere but in my direction. “I’m curious. My sisters made it sound like a long-drawn-out day at the spa.”
An involuntary shudder ripples through me. “It was a long day, exactly as your sisters told you. The most tedious spa appointment ever.”
Zev reaches up and wraps his long fingers around my arm. “I want you to be honest with me, Yael. I want you to trust me.”
“Honesty? Trust? You speak to me as if I’m going to become your equal, but when we marry in a few days, you will have complete dominion over me. I only get to be Yael Blum a little while longer. Please, let me keep her secrets.”
“A wife shouldn’t have secrets from her husband,” he reminds me as he steps closer. “If something happened, I can and will protect you.”
“You are a powerful man, but even your power has limits.” I shake off his hold and walk ahead. Does he really think he can topple tradition? Or hurt a man like Anders Huxley, who has almost infinite power over this community?
He resumes his distance between us, and when we reach my house, I stop. “Are you coming in?”
He looks up at the front of the house, and I notice the movement of curtains. Grandmother is watching. “Do you want me to?”
No, I want to tell him. Deep in my gut, I know some of the rumors about Zev are true. He is a dangerous man. No matter how smitten my grandmother is with him, there is something sinister deep inside. But far more terrifying are the nightmares invading my dreams. Long white fingers poking and prodding me, judging my innocence publicly, and then the cold eyes of Anders Huxley penetrating me with their gaze, making me squirm.
Zev is the only one who can stop them from happening.