Page 80 of Ceremony of Lust
Am I suddenly being ghosted?
My confusion mixed with a fresh wave of morning sickness makes for a miserable morning spent mostly in the bathroom. When the doorbell rings, I manage to drag myself from the floor and trudge downstairs.
The grim expression of Fraser Allen greets me when I open the door.
“Where’s my husband?” I croak.
“I honestly don’t know,” he answers, brushing past me. “He told me to come here and check on you.”
I laugh. “Another babysitter? Great. Well, as you can see, I’m fine. You can go.”
He spins on his heel, leveling me with the hard stare of his jade green eyes. “You’re not fine.”
“I’m not fine,” I repeat, stumbling backward until my feet hit the stairs, and I plop down on them with a hard thud. “I woke up to divorce papers on my pillow. My husband’s phone is no longer working, and I’m sicker than I’ve been in days.”
He advances toward me, his face softening. He slides an arm beneath mine and lifts me gently to my feet before guiding me up the stairs. “You should be in bed,” he insists.
“What’s going on, Fraser?” I cry, placing one foot on the stair and taking my first shaky step. “Why is he doing this?”
“He has his reasons.”
Fraser’s hands are firm and steady, keeping me from falling over as I make my way back to the bedroom. I crawl into bed like a child and Fraser grabs the duvet, lifting it to my chin. “What do you need?”
“Zev,” I whisper as a single tear trickles down the side of my face and into my hair.
Another crack forms in my already broken heart.
“What do you need that I can get you?”
“Nothing,” I say, turning my back to him and closing my eyes.
Maybe this is all a dream—a terrible, horrible nightmare—and if I go back to sleep, when I wake up, it will all be different.
One can only hope.
When I wake, the sun streaming into the bedroom is darker, bathing everything in a dusky glow. Fraser is still sitting in the armchair next to the fireplace.
“What are you still doing here?” I mumble.
“I’m not leaving until I know you’re okay.”
“Then I guess you’re going to be here a while.” I push down the covers and sit up, waiting for my head to spin and my stomach to churn. When they don’t, I swing my feet over the edge and stand. Fraser is right there with a steadying hand under my elbow.
“Where are you going?”
“I have to pee,” I snap.
He hovers behind me as I shuffle to the bathroom. When I slam the door shut, I lean against it and exhale a heavy breath. I woke up feeling numb, hoping this morning’s events were just a cruel nightmare. After I realized this is my new reality, my emotions evolved into anger.
How is this my life right now? What am I supposed to do, return to Ripley and raise my child alone? Hell, no. Raise my child alone in this big, beautiful house? The thought makes my heart ache. This house was my dream, my idea, but I hoped Zev wanted it as much as I did. In fact, I believed he did, but maybe that’s the problem. Maybe I forced him to accept my dream.
I spin, grasping the doorknob to throw open the door. “Tell him we’ll sell this house,” I blurt out.
“What?” Fraser’s face contorts with confusion.
“Call him and tell him we don’t have to live in this house. I’m sorry I demanded we buy it and move here. We’ll live wherever he wants,” I insist.
He steps forward and his hands reach out to take hold of mine. “Is that what you think?” he asks, his eyes narrowed in my direction. “Do you really think he left you because of this house?”