Page 48 of Ceremony of Lust

“Fuck you,” she spits out.

“You shouldn’t say things like that.” Mockery doesn’t help; in fact, it makes things worse.

She pushes to her feet and looks down at me with blazing hot eyes. “Will you tell me if I say I might be pregnant?”

“Might be?” I ask, getting to my feet. There’s a conflict of emotions inside me—dread, anxiety, but also pure joy.

“I didn’t have my period last month, and I was waiting to see if I got it this month. I didn’t.”

“Did you take a test?”

She shakes her head. “No. I wanted to wait for you.”

I pace in front of her, my hands gravitating back toward my head. “I did something horrible,” I begin, thinking to myself,it’s now or never, and remembering how my mother believes Yael might be my savior. “When I was younger, I was wild. I tested the limits of the freedom I was given, and I made a huge mistake. The Elders helped me fix it.”

“What did you do?”

“A woman got pregnant.”

Her eyes widen with terror, and her hand covers her mouth. “Oh, God,” she moans.

“Anders arranged for her to have an abortion.” Finally telling my closely guarded secret to someone other than my family is a monumental task. The words come out of my mouth heavy, and as soon as they’re said, I immediately want to swallow them back up.

“Is that what he meant? He could tell you what to do?”

I nod. “Don’t ask me to tell you more, Yael. It’s for your own good. I’m trying to free myself from the Elders. They wanted me to come back to the community for good and take over my father’s position as mayor.”

“He’s elected.”

“The Elders can do whatever the fuck they want. If they want him out and someone else put in his place, they’ll find a way to make it happen.”

“So, what do we do?”

I shrug. “Continue to live our lives? If you’re pregnant, great. Maybe they’ll leave us alone for a little while longer.”

“And if I’m not?”

“I’m not letting you anywhere near Hadassah. She’s as corrupt as the Elders. If you’re not, then—”

She interrupts me. “I have a secret of my own.”

My brows lift, and I have to admit, I’m a little surprised. “Oh?”

“My aunt gave me the card of a doctor in the city. She said to go there instead of Dr. Hartman.”

There’s no stopping the belly laugh that escapes. “Your aunt is probably the only one who could do that.” I reach toward Yael and draw her to me. It’s hard to resist imagining her body ripe and lush as a child grows inside her. My hand moves automatically up her belly and caresses her breasts. My mouth waters at the thought of them becoming fuller. “Take a test. If you’re not pregnant, then maybe in a few more months, we’ll speak to someone. I’m not worried. You’re young and healthy. It’ll happen when it happens.”

She sighs against me, and I inhale her soft, sweet smell. She’s already so familiar to me; the feel of her weight against me, the smell of her, the sight of her. One thought pops into my head, and before I know it, I’m admitting it out loud. “I missed you,” I say with a sigh.

“I feel the same way.” She tilts her head up as I dip mine, and we meet somewhere in the middle with a kiss so sweet it makes my heart ache.

“I want to take you to bed,” I growl softly, letting my hand drift down between her legs. My fingers stroke underneath her skirt softly, and my mouth swallows her sighs.

I step away and begin fumbling with my belt. It’s only been a few days since I’ve been away, but it feels like weeks, and I’m desperate to be inside her. But she reaches out and presses a hand against mine, stopping me.

“I want to take a test,” she says quietly.

Reluctantly, I agree. “But we’re not going to buy one here, where the eyes of the entire fucking city will be on us. I’ll take you into town. It’ll be like a date.”