Page 26 of Ceremony of Lust

The other box holds an ancient Rolex. The shiny black leather strap and black face contrast sharply against the gold accents. I unclasp the watch from its satin pillow and fasten it around my wrist. It makes me feel proud to know she wanted me to have something so precious. I can only hope to be worthy of such a gift.

When my mother returns for me, I ask her the one question I’ve always wanted an answer to even though I’m sure of the answer. “Do you love Father?”

She smiles wistfully. “I am fond of your father. When we were first married, there was a certain amount of lust between us. But I don’t want to lie to you, Zev, and tell you something in order to make you feel better about an arranged marriage. We’re comfortable with each other.”

“And you’re happy?”

“Yes. Being in a stable, comfortable marriage with a man I’m at least fond of is good enough for me.”

But are comfort and fondness good enough for me? I already know Yael’s expectations. Love and equality. Do I expect the same in return?

“Time to go,” my mother announces, shaking me from my thoughts.

Throughout the morning, my father has remained resolute and silent. He’s gone about his day as if it’s business as usual. On our way to Ripley Temple is when he finally decides to speak up.

“It feels like we’ve been waiting forever for you to get married,” he says in the car. “I thought you would be the first picked.”

“Sorry to take so long,” I mumble.

“Good things come to those who wait, son.”

It seems almost ironic for him to say things like that to me. Ten years ago, he was calling me the “family fuckup.” He was ready to disinherit me altogether, and now it’s as if I’m the prodigal son coming home even though I never left.

“Does this mean you’ll help me get rid of the Elders?”

He sighs. “I don’t know if there’s anything I can do, Zev.”

I laugh. “You’re the fucking mayor of this town.”

“That doesn’t mean anything. I just handle the government stuff. You know who really runs Ripley, and it’s not me.”

I rub the tightness in my jaw. “Anders went to Yael. Two days before our wedding, he shows up with a bunch of photographs and tells her she can back out. He crossed a line.”

My mother looks uncomfortable, but my father doesn’t look surprised. “Well, it’s simple, son,” he says quietly as he picks imaginary lint from his trousers. “You have something he desires.”

“He’ll never get Yael. I’ll protect her, but I need your help.”

“I’ll do what I can, but you know how I feel about this situation. Instead of handling the problem yourself, you took the easy way out, and you’ve been paying for ten years.”

All too quickly, we arrive at the Temple, ending our conversation. Once I step foot into the building, it’ll be all tradition and ceremony, ritual and sacrifice.

At the women’s entrance, I kiss my mother lightly on the cheek. “No matter, we’re proud of you. I know Yael is the angel you’ve been waiting for to redeem you.”

“My sins are too many and too great, Mother, but I hope you’re right.”

I follow my father through the men’s entrance to begin the groom’s ritual. It’s nothing more than a glorified bachelor party full of pomp and pageantry. The Elders, my father, and my brothers will all give speeches, and there will be drinking—lots and lots of drinking—but not for me. I need to keep a level head.

We stop just outside the room where the men are gathered. I can hear their laughter and the hum of conversation through the door. My father places a hand on my shoulder and stares at me hard. “You are the envy of this town, Zev. You won the girl every man has coveted for months. Do what you must to protect her, but she is your weakness now. Anders and the rest of the Elders will do whatever they can to exploit that because you’ve made them wealthy men. You sweep the secrets of this town under the rug. Remember that. They might pull the strings, but you have the means to cut them.”

“And risk exposing myself in the process?”

“Better you than them, Zev.”

He was right. Sooner or later, I need to confess my sins to Yael. Only then will we truly be equals, and she will be forced to decide once and for all whether she can love a devil.

15

Yael