Page 81 of Rah

“Not good.” I sighed, fighting back the urge to burst into tears. I wassotired of the tears and chaos.

“I expected that,” Moses replied.

An eerie silence fell between us. I sat on the couch in the window of his hospital room watching as light snow flurries fell on the city. The streets were empty as hell. I was sure that many people were in the house getting ready for New Year’s Eve parties. I wasn’t jealous that I had to spend this holiday in the hospital with Moses and our son. I was happy to. I would have preferred to be spending the holiday there than at a funeral home.

“This is all so crazy.”

“That’s an understatement,” Moses fussed with a shake of his head. “Never thought the year would end like this.”

I reached down and started to run my fingers through my son’s hair as he lay sleepingacross my lap.

“At least you’re alive, Moses. That’s one thing we can be happy about,” I said as I smiled at him, but I could feel the sadness behind it.

Moses nodded and smiled at me as well. His smile also looked like it was covering up a whole lot of grief. “Real talk.”

“And hopefully they will give Solae bail so she can fight this case on the outside with her kids. The last thing that Essence needs is losing her mother at a time like this.”

“’The last thing that Essence needs’…What’s that mean?” Moses asked.

“Oh...I haven’t had the chance to tell you.”

“Tell me what?”

I sighed and revealed, “Some sixteen-year-old boy took advantage of her while she was in custody with the state.”

Moses shook his head, bit his lip until his teeth left imprints on his bottom lip, and dropped his head.

“That’s why Solae spazzed out and stabbed Rah. Solae was trying to make him realize what his actions had done to her and her kids. He said that it wasn’t his fault, that if Essence wasn’t such a hoe like his mama that that wouldn’t have happened to her.”

“Fuck man,” he said, cringing. “Wait...how do you know all of this?”

Shit. “Oh...Ummm...Her mother told me that Solae told her what happened during a phone call.”

“Oh.”

I hurried and changed the subject. I wanted so badly to tell Moses that I was there with Solae the morning she stabbed Rah. I needed to talk to somebody, to vent, to get it out. But I had to keep that secret for my girl.

Now, I understood why Moses kept Rah’s secrets.

“I hate that motherfucker. Real talk. IhateRah, and I never wanna see him again. And if you want to be with me, then you are going to have to cut ties with him. He doesn’t mean us any good. He doesn’t do anything for you, besides book you shows. You can get a new manager, a better one. He is a selfish and inconsiderate son of a bitch–”

He gave me a crooked smile. “So, you forgive me?”

I playfully rolled my eyes. “I’m here, ain’t I?”

He was so cute when he tried to hide his blushing.

“Yougottabe through dealing with Rah.”

“Kahlani, you don’t have to tell me that,” he assured me. “I ain’t fucking with that nigga no more.”

I was surprised at how quick he was to agree with me. I thought I was going to have to beg Moses to distance himself from Rah.

“Oh?” I replied. “Why all of a sudden? I’ve been trying to tell you that Rah ain’t no good.”

“Because...I’m just...” I could tell that he was trying to choose his words wisely. “I’m starting to see that nigga for who he really is.”

I wondered what the hell had happened that made Moses finally step out of Rah’s dark shadow. I watched him questionably, but he didn’t go into detail. He just said, “I was supposed to have that meeting with Interscope. I don’t even want it if I have to deal with Rah. Fuck it.”