Page 51 of Rah

“I miss you, Solae. I keep thinking about the other night.”

I felt heat rise to my face and had to lean against the doorframe so I wouldn’t slide onto the floor. “You miss me?”

He replied deeply, “Fuck yeah.”

I damn near came.

“Promise me it won’t be long before I see you again.”

“I promise,” I replied, even though I didn’t know if I could keep it.

He hummed, satisfied. “Good. Take care of your shorty. Text me if you need anything. For real.”

I let him go with a soft, shaky, “Okay. Talk to you later.”

When I ended the call, I stood there a second longer, listening to the muffled sounds of my kids in the other room. I wanted to disappear with Priest and let the world go, but my kids came first.

RAH

The next day, I picked up Moses so that we could ride to Carlos’ spot. Now that the holidays were over, Carlos was ready for us to figure out how we were going to get his money back for the product Moses lost.

“I gotta get a good lawyer to fight Kahlani’s case.” Moses seemed to wince in agony as he spoke. The man was in pain. It was all in his eyes. But it wasn’t physical pain. Emotionally, he was a wreck.

I scoffed. “Man, she doesn’t need a lawyer. Tell her to just plead guilty. They’ll give her probation. That judge ain’t crazy. They know that wasn’t her work.”

“She can’t have a felony probation on her record. How is she going to ever get a better job?”

I waved him off. “Fuck a better job. You’re about to be a star.”

I wanted so badly for those words to be true. I needed them to be true for myself more than anything. Something had to give in the worse way.

I realized what could give as we walked into Carlos’ crib onthe Southeast Side on Jeffery Avenue. It was a low-key brick house big enough for a family, but a great bachelor pad for a dude in his late thirties. He had a few kids who he’d purchased a shit load of Christmas presents for. The presents were all over the living room. Expensive motorized cars for his toddler, iPhones for his older kids, True Religion this, Trukfit that, Jordan to Giuseppe, Rock Revival to Robins Jeans. Shit, the labels and electronics had me salivating at the mouth and making me wish that he wasmydaddy. I felt small and insignificant. I felt like less of a man because I couldn’t stunt on myself on the same level.

I didn’t like that at all.

“Moses, what’s up, Superstar!” Carlos grinned as he shook up with Moses.

I casually took a seat on the love seat. It was so big and comfortable that I had to fight the drowsiness that instantly hit me.

Carlos motioned for Moses to sit beside him. Though I was nonchalant and unfazed by this, Moses had worry all over his face. I damn near wanted to laugh at this nigga.

Carlos made himself comfortable back in front of a plate on the coffee table in front of him.

“Damn, homie. You sharin’?” I was only teasing as I salivated over the spaghetti, fried chicken, greens, cornbread, and other soul food piled on the plate.

Carlos smiled as he stuffed his mouth with a fork full of baked macaroni and cheese. “Man, this shit so good! I spent the holidays with Pops’ and his side of the family, so all I had was tacos, empanadas, and shit. I couldn’t wait to get to mom’s crib!”

We all laughed.

With a deep breath, Carlos took a swig from his Corona and gave Moses his full attention.

“Look, Moses, Rah is like a brother to me, which makes you my cousin just as well as his. I know y’all don’t have the cash to pay me back right now. A man like me ain’t hurtin’ over missing a hundred thousand.”

He and Moses both snickered at that fact. I smiled in agreement, but my heart burned with jealousy.

“So, what I’m gon’ do is let you work off as much as you can until you become that big time rapper on the BET awards,” he said with a grin. “You bet’ not forget about me when you make it big.”

Relieved, Moses’ smiled. His eyes were big, as he and Carlos shook up, as if he couldn’t believe how cool Carlos was being about this.