Page 67 of Rah

“I’m on my way.”

He sounded like he was already in the car, so I believed that he would be there soon. I hadn’t showered since I arrived at the hotel the morning before. I was too distraught to have the strength to do anything except feed my baby and use the bathroom. So, reluctantly I crawled from underneath the covers. On my way to the bathroom, I checked on Junior, who was fast asleep in the bassinet that I brought along with me from the house.

My body was so heavy with hurt as I prepared the shower and took off my sleep shirt. I still couldn’t believe that Rah had put his hands on me. He wasn’t perfect, by any means. We’d argued countless times before. Never had he thought so little of me that he hit me, however. Never had his disrespect been so blatant.

Yet, since he was capable of murder, I guess he had always been capable of anything.

My mind was so busy, and my emotions were so fuckedthat I hadn’t even eaten. So, after I got out of the shower, I could damn near smell the Italian Fiesta pizza on the other side of the door right before I heard a knock.

I wrapped the hotel towel around my body that was still dripping with hot water. I peered through the peephole and couldn’t deny how laying eyes on Fabe gave me a feeling of comfort that I hadn’t felt in days.

I hid behind the door as I opened it. Fabe came in and immediately put the pizza and brown bags down on the table. He turned to look at me. Instantly, I came towards him and fell into his arms. Though I buried my face in his chest, he picked it up and began to examine me. He looked over my face and body. When he saw the bruises, he bit his lip with sorrow and anger.

“I’m okay,” I promised him.

His eyes burned into mine, silently telling me that he knew that I was lying.

I sat down on the bed and avoided him. At first, I thought his visit would be comforting. Now, I just felt stupid. He was standing there looking and smelling good. Compassion was oozing from him. Yet, I had denied him and stayed with a nigga that obviously never cared about me.

“You okay?”

I couldn’t even lie to him, “Not really.”

“How long you plan on staying at this hotel?”

“For a few days.”

“And then?”

“I’m going to Houston.”

Getting my mother out of that home would take a few days, but I had enough money to stay in that hotel for as long as it took. I kept those details away from Fabe, though. I didn’t want anyone to know that I knew about that money or that Rah killed Carlos. I just wanted to leave and be free. I hated that ithad to happen like this, but transferring my mother and being able to move her closer to her sister was the only ray of sunshine in the midst of this storm.

It almost made it all feel like it was worth it.

Fabe saw my weariness and put his arms around me. “I told you to leave him.”

When I lay my head on his shoulder, he began to soothingly rub my back. I fell into him and finally relaxed. I only felt that protected when I was near him. Yet, for a year, I avoided being that close to him.

“I know,” I told him with a sigh.

Being in his arms felt right. It felt safe. It felt genuine. It felt like falling in love over and over again with every minute he held me.

“But you loved him too much.”

I had no response for that.

“Can I ask you a question?”

I dreaded what he would ask. I wasn’t ready for some deep ass conversation with him about how his brother wasn’t shit and I dealt with it.

“Go ahead.” However, he deserved that explanation if he wanted it. Hell, he had been more of a man to me emotionally than Rah ever had.

“Who is Junior’s father?”

I wasn’t expecting that question, though.

I immediately got anxious. For nine months, nobody questioned me. Rah didn’t think twice. Fabe never once asked.