Page 75 of Rah

But now, only my children would suffer...again.

“I have to call the police.”

Kahlani gasped. “You wanna go to prison, bitch?!”

“I’d rather go to jail for stabbing him than killing him.” I went towards my cell phone on the counter. Rah’s blood smeared onto the phone from my trembling hands when I picked it up to dial 9-1-1. “Leave, Kahlani.”

“No!” She rushed towards me and tried to snatch the phone from my hand, but I pulled it away before she could get a grip on it.

“Just go home, Kahlani,” I insisted. “You can’t be here. You can’t be involved in this. I need you to be free so that you can take care of my kids–”

Tears began to well in her eyes as she kept pleading with me. “Solae–”

“Ican’tkill him,” I pressed. “I thought I had, but now that I haven’t, I am actually relieved. I don’t want to be in a position where I never see my babies again. Please...” I stared at her with my pleading, tired eyes, begging her to please listen to me. She just looked back at me with eyes filled with unwillingness. Just as the seconds crept by slowly, Rah moaned again.

“Mmmm... Urgh.”

I didn’t even turn to look at him. I kept looking at Kahlani, waiting for her to realize that this was the right thing to do. “Kahlani,go.”

“This is crazy,” she said, shaking her head. “You’re going to go to jail for a long time.”

“I made a mistake. I snapped. Now, I have to face the consequences.”

As I brought the phone in front of me to press call, she wrapped her arms around me. I wanted to fall into her arms and cry, but I couldn’t. I had to do this. I tapped her arm lightly, silently telling her to let me go. She did with a deep sigh and finally, slowly and regretfully, walked out of the kitchen. As I dialed 9-1-1, I used the bleach to start getting rid of any trace of Kahlani being there.

“9-1-1, what is your emergency?”

“I...Uh...I need an ambulance.”

“Ma’am, are you hurt?”

“No...no, it’s...it’s my boyfriend...ex-boyfriend. He’s been stabbed.”

“Can you tell us what happened, ma’am?”

I was standing outside of my house leaning against a squad car with two officers standing in front of me, watching me sternly. They were eyeing the blood all over me. They had just arrived, right after the ambulance had arrived and the techs had rushed inside.

“I ...Uh...” I was stuttering. I was still trembling. Tears were still flowing. My heart was beating so fast that I could barely breathe. I took a slow, deep breath trying to calm down and think clearly. “Me and my ex-boyfriend got into an argument.”

“And?”

“And he....Um...” My voice wouldn’t stop shaking. “Uh...He started to hit me.” Suddenly, I felt like I should lie, that I should make this seem like I was defending myself. Good thing for me, I was crying already, so I felt like I sounded believable. “He’s alwaysbeen mentally and physically abusive, so I...I got scared. He was hitting me, grabbing me. And he’s so much bigger than me. I didn’t know what else to do. I picked up the first thing that I saw and just started to swing. Oh my God...” I clutched my chest, staring off into nothing as the tears rolled.

“So,youstabbed him?” the other officer clarified.

“Yes. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know what else to do...”

Just then, the techs rushed out of the front door with Rah on a stretcher. I was both relieved and disappointed that they weren’t carrying him out of that house in a body bag.

I began to walk away, to rush towards the stretcher. I don’t know why specifically. There was so much that I wanted to do, so much on my mind, so much that I was feeling.

“Ma’am.” A stern hand clutching my elbow stopped me.

I looked back, still stuttering, “I...I need to go to the hospital with him. I need to make sure he’s okay.”

“Sorry, ma’am, but you have to come with us.” Just then, his partner started to approach me as well. When he started to reach for his cuffs, my heart sank. “You’re under arrest for attempted murder.”

MOSES