Page 76 of Rah

It felt like my eyelids were weighed down by bricks. I strained to get them open, though, because I could smell Kahlani in the room. After being with a person for so long, you know their scent, even if they aren’t wearing perfume.

As I finally opened my eyes and saw her face, I smiled. “You finally made it.”

When my eyes first opened, what scared me most was not seeing Kahlani. I thought maybe she was still mad at me. The guilt had eaten at me enough before the shooting, but lying in that hospital bed weak as hell, the idea that I might’ve pushed her away for good damn near crushed me.

But my family told me she hadn’t left my side since I came out of surgery, that the only reason she wasn’t there when I first opened my eyes was because she had a meeting with her lawyer.

Seeing that I was awake, she had stood and rushed towards me. Holding my hand, she said, “Yeah, I was at a meeting with the lawyer when they told me that you woke up.”

“You okay?” I asked her.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

“I’m a G, girl. I’m straight.”

She giggled and lightly smacked my arm. “Whatever.”

“I’m just happy to be alive. You sure you okay, though?” I pressed.

Something wasn’t right with Kahlani. She looked shook.

She tried to play it off by asking, “Why do you keep asking me that?”

“You’re shaking.” I could feel her hand trembling as she held mine.

“I’m okay. I’m just relieved you’re alive. I was so scared that you were going to die. I’m so happy that you’re going to be okay.”

That made sense to me, so I lay my head back on the pillow. I was so doped up. A nigga felt like he was floating.

“I’m sorry, baby,” I told her.

Kahlani’s eyes squinted with confusion. “For what?”

“For making you feel like you can’t trust me. I know I kept Rah’s secrets, but I would never keep anything from you that would—”

“Sshhhh, Moses. That’s not important right now.”

“I got you in this shit because of my stupid decisions, though. I just want you to know that I will never put you in that position again. Tell the prosecutor whatever they wanna know so you can get out of this. If I gotta go down, then so be it.”

Ever since I woke up, so much had been on my mind. As I lay in that hospital bed with tubes coming out of me, I was so happy to be alive. I was happy as hell that I had another chance to do this life the right way with my family. God had given me another chance, and I was not about to mess it up.

With a heavy sigh, Kahlani shook her head. “No. I can’t do that. When I thought you were dead or wasn’t going to survive, I experienced how it would feel if you weren’t around. I can’t have that on my conscience.”

A nigga was touched. I looked up at her, admiring how ride or die she was for me. I didn’t deserve her, and I was grateful as hell just to have her in my life.

“Do you remember what happened to you?” Kahlani asked.

“A little,” I lied. “What I couldn’t remember, people told me.”

Kahlani sneered and shook her head. “I can’t believe they shot you over that car. I hate these young niggas! All they wanna do is take from the next motherfucker and shoot shit up. What the fuck did they want with Rah’s car anyway? Ugh! And why would you fight back? You know better than that.”

I just shrugged. God had already saved my life, and I didn’t wanna piss Him off by lying to my woman’s face. I couldn’t believe the lie Rah had come up with. I wondered how long I was in that car bleeding out while he figured out that bullshit carjacking story.

I remembered exactly what had gone down. I had always known that Rah was a shady motherfucker, but that son of a bitch had gone way too far this time; so far that it almost cost me my life. He was so fucking thirsty for the next man’s money that he was willing to risk my life for a dollar. Shit, even though I had survived the shooting, my life was still at risk. If me and Rah were ever connected to Carlos’ death, the police wouldn’t give a fuck if I knew about that robbery or not. All they would care about, especially with my record, was that I was there. That was a fucking felony murder charge. And with my current convictions, that meant a life sentence for my ass. So, I wasn’t saying a gawd damn thing.

Our attention was brought to the door of my hospital room as it opened. I had gotten so many visitors since I woke up that there was no telling who was on the other side this time. I just hoped that it wasn’t Rah. I was through with that motherfucker.

“Hey, mama’s baby.” It was my mother, smiling at me as she walked in with a Styrofoam to-go container.