Page 14 of Rah

“I’ve been… good. Tired, but good.”

He nodded. “That’s expected. You just had my nephew.” There was a pride in his tone. “He’s perfect, Aaliyah.”

The way his gaze lingered on my face, made me feel seen in a way that scared me. “Thanks.”

“Why are you in here vacuuming after you just gave birth?” he asked, tilting his head like he was studying me.

“I’m fine,” I quickly told him.

That pause followed again, where neither of us said what we were really thinking. My pulse quickened, and my skin felt too warm under his stare. If he took one step closer, if he reached for me, I knew I’d fold.

And then, mercifully, Junior’s cry cut through the air from the bedroom.

I perked up like I’d been given a lifeline. “Sounds like it’s time for him to get bathed and fed,” I said quickly, forcing a small smile. “You can… Uh… let yourself out.”

Without giving him a chance to respond, I hurried into the bedroom and closed the door behind me. I pressed my back against it, and my chest rose and fell too fast.

I listened for him, while praying he’d leaveandterrified he wouldn’t. There was a long pause. There was no sound, except my own breathing and Junior fussing in the background. I imagined Fabe standing in the middle of my living room, looking toward this door, trying to decide if he would leave or stay.

Then I heard the soft creak of the floorboards. There were a few slow steps, but then nothing. No door opening or door clicking shut. My fingers twitched against the doorknob. The urge to open it and see him still there gnawed at me.

Finally, after what felt like forever, the back door opened and closed with a faint thud. Relief washed over me, but right on its heels was an ache that whispered I’d wanted him to stay.

RAH

I was in my office in the back of The Black Room finalizing plans for Moses’ birthday celebration when Fabe walked in.

First thing he said was, “Your girl found your stash, bro.”

“How you figure?”

Fabe walked deeper into the office and leaned against my desk. “When I came through looking for you, she was behind the couch. Better fix that shit. I’m sure she went back behind there when I left. She might wonder where you came up with all that cash.”

Fabe was a street nigga too, so he knew the code. He wasn’t a snitch, so I had told him that I robbed the bank.

Even though me and Fabe were both street niggas, I could admit he was smarter and more established than me, even though he was younger. We didn’t have the same mother, so we were raised differently. Fabe respected women, carried himself with a certain discipline, and always had his life and his finances together. Where I might take a risk just to flip a quick dollar, Fabe played the long game, andthought ten steps ahead. He was smart when it came to the streets, but he wasn’t married to them like I was.

Sometimes I admired him for how he’d already flipped his hustle into something bigger. He’d turned his street money into legitimate cash through real estate investments. Other times, it made the envious beast inside of me stir. He’d built this image of an established businessman, a man who didn’t have to look over his shoulder the way I still did or plotted and schemed. I respected it. But I envied it too.

“Her dumbass won’t ask me any questions.”

Fabe looked at me like I was a heartless son of a bitch. I didn’t bother denying it. I could tell Aaliyah anything to send her off, and she would believe it. Not because she was stupid. I had just put in that much work that she trusted me that much.

Shaking his head at the smug, arrogant look on my face, Fabe gave up on the subject. “What’s up with Moses’ party? You ballin’ out and buying bottles?”

I grinned. “Hell yeah. That party gon’ be dope. Got VIP on lock, and he’s performing.”

Since The Black Room was too small to hold the crowd expected at Moses’ birthday party, I had to have his party at Billboard Live. Luckily, my closest homeboy, Carlos, sold weight to the manager at the club, so I got the space for free. The fact that Moses was performing was a definite plus. He was going to pack the club, which was a good look for the club and the owner’s pockets. I had arranged for a percentage of the bar that night.

Billboard Live was sure to be packed to capacity that night. Moses was a prince in these streets, but I was ready to make him the king of the rap game.

“Which one of your girls gonna be there?” Fabe had a slick smirk on his face as he waited for my answer.

He thought it was crazy the way I juggled Solae and Aaliyah so closely. It wasn’t though; since I knew how to emotionally and mentally keep women in check. They loved me enough to trust me. When I said don’t come to The Black Room because it’s not a good look for my woman, they did just that. When I lied to one, telling her that I was in the studio all night, she believed it, while I was spending the night with the other. Therefore, they never even knew or suspected anything about the other.

Fabe didn’t understand or agree with the depth of my deceit because he was a regular, traditional man that felt like even if a man cheated on his girl, it should be far away from home. I overstepped so many boundaries to him that he just watched me juggle with disgust for the amount of disrespect I had for my women.

“Both of them.”