Page 49 of Rah

“Man, shut the fuck up,” I whispered, but I was laughing too.

We both smothered our laughs as we crept slow through the house. The floor creaked under the weight of our boots. Myeyes scanned the walls, pictures, and little details that told me we were in the right place. Dude lived like he was struggling. His crib was messy and underwhelming, but he always kept up appearances while his debt piled higher than the dishes in his sink.

Blu leaned close as we moved down the hall. “Just don’t let her make you soft, bro. Women with that type of hold on you will have you forgetting who you are.”

I shook my head as we reached the last door. “Trust me, I ain’t forgot.”

We pushed the door open quietly. The room was dark. Only the pale glow of the streetlight seeped through the blinds. I could hear him before I saw him, snoring. He was sleeping like a baby, like he wasn’t living on borrowed time.

I stepped closer, causing the boards to creak under my boot, and his eyes popped open.

For a second, he froze, and his gaze darted between me and Blu like he was seeing ghosts. Then I smelled a sharp, sour scent filling the room.

He had pissed himself.

“Goddamn,” I muttered, wrinkling my nose. “You serious?”

His voice shook like the rest of him. “P-Priest, I—I was gon’ get it to you, I swear. Just give me a little more time.”

I tilted my head, smirking down at him. “Time? You been saying that for months. What you think this is? A payment plan? I’m not Klarna, nigga.”

He lifted his hands like they could shield him from me. “Please, man, I got kids—”

“Yeah? And what you think gon’ happen to them when you keep owing niggas like me? Huh? A grimier nigga woulda killed them over the bread you owe me.”

His mouth opened and closed as words tripped over histongue, but I was done listening. I crouched down, staring him in his wet, terrified eyes. “Your time’s up.”

The last sound he made was a pitiful whimper before I pulled the trigger. The shot cracked loud in the silence. His body jerked once before going still. The smell of piss was thicker now.

I stood, sliding the gun back into my waistband with a blank expression. Blu watched me, shaking his head with a crooked smile. “Damn, you didn’t even give him a chance. That’s why they don’t fuck with you.”

I smirked, stepping past the body without another glance. “That’s why theyshouldn’t.”

SOLAE

I was up before the sun that morning. It was my court date with DCFS. I was prepared to fight tooth and nail for my children, and to prove Rah to be the lying deadbeat that he was. If anybody should be kept away from them, it was him. He was the illegitimate father. All he provided them with was money. I was the one that catered to them physically and emotionally. I was their teacher and confidante.

“It’s going to be okay,” my father insisted as I rode beside him in his Lincoln.

My mother was sitting behind me, with her hand on my shoulder, consoling me as I looked blankly out of the window and fought tears.

“We’ll get them back,” I heard my mother promise. Her voice was low, as if she too were fighting back tears.

At that moment, I hated Rah even more. Not only did he hurt my children unnecessarily and selfishly but seeing my parents in pain from his games cut even deeper. I hated him more than I could have everimagined I could.

Unbeknownst to me, my hate towards Rah could get greater. And it did as we arrived at the DCFS facility for court. I was geared up and ready to see Rah. He had totally avoided me since all of this happened. I was ready to put hands on him, even if we were in public.

“Solae, you have to calm down. You cannot be out here acting a fool in front of these people. It’s more important that you get your kids back, not fight with Rah. They definitely won’t give them back if they see you being violent.”

My mother was right, but my eyes still shot up and down the hall like daggers looking for Rah. I could imagine that I looked like a mad woman. I had had little sleep, since Priest left.

Being with Priest had done more for me than I wanted to admit. The way he touched me, the way he looked at me like I was the only woman in the world, gave me a kind of calm I hadn’t felt in weeks. For a few hours, I forgot everything. All of the drama and hurt slipped away under Priest’s hands.

But the second he left, the misery came right back. The silence in the house reminded me of everything I was trying to escape. I wanted him to stay the night so bad, because as long as he was there, I could ignore my reality. I could pretend like I wasn’t broken. But I couldn’t bring myself to let him spend the night in the house and bed I’d shared with Rah for so long. Even though Rah had been disloyal, even though he’d disrespected me in ways I didn’t deserve, I wasn’t comfortable yet.

What surprised me most was that I’d had the courage to be with another man at all. After years of being committed to Rah, I didn’t think I had it in me. Yet, last night proved otherwise. I gave in to Priest, and for a moment, it felt like freedom.

Since, I had been cooped up in the house in the dark.