Page 80 of Rah

I sucked my teeth and cringed on the inside. I had only been there for a day, but it felt like a lifetime.

“Is Rah...Is he...” I couldn’t even finish the question, scared of what Kahlani’s answer would be.

“He’ll live...unfortunately.”

I was both disappointed and relieved. I felt so stupid. He was still alive, still able to do him, and now I would be behind bars for I didn’t even know how long, because of him. But, at least, my charges wouldn’t be upgraded to murder.

“Can you call my mother for me and let her know what’s going on?”

“Of course.”

“And please talk to my kids for me.” At the mere mention of my kids, my eyes welled up again. Quickly wiping away the tears that had escaped, I told Kahlani, “Take them somewhere for New Year’s Day, if you can. Look out for them, especially Essence. Tell her don’t be mad at me.”

“Girl, she is going to know that you did thisforher. I will make sure she does.” The confidence in Kahlani’s voice was the only comfort that I had. I knew she was going to make sure that my kids were okay. Sure, they had their grandparents. But Kahlani would be the young, but still mature, influence they needed to watch their backs, especially Essence.

“Okay. How is Moses?” I asked.

“He’s fine. Thank God.” And for the first time since this conversation started, I heard a smile in her voice.

“That’s good.” Then the cop made a gesture for me to end the call. I sighed, saying, “I have to go.”

“Okay, girl. Try to keep your head up and call me tomorrow.”

With a heavy sigh, I told her, “I’ll try.”

Her weary tone matched mine as she told me, “Bye, Cousin.”

“Bye. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Before I knew it, I had slammed the phone down. The officer gave me a stern look, snatched me up by the elbow, and led me back towards the cell. On the way, many of the inmates were looking at me with wonder and disgust. I was still wearing the clothes that had Rah’s blood all over them. My hair was still all over my head. My eyes felt like they were beady, as thoughts of me spending the rest of my life in jail were on a constant loop.

Once inside the cell, I collapsed onto the thin, rock-hard, plastic mat that rested on top of a steel panel. There was no blanket to keep me warm and no pillow. But that didn’t matter because I was sure that I wouldn’t get any sleep that night.

As I lay there, I forced myself not to think about my kids, Essence in particular. I just prayed that my baby would be allright and stay strong until I hopefully got the hell out of jail. I tried to think of happier things instead of the dreadful events of the past few weeks. The first thought that put a smile on my face as tears spilled from my eyes, were thoughts of Priest. I remembered how he had been there for me the night that Moses had gotten shot. The thought of him sitting beside me, holding my hand, warmed me in that cold cell. The plans that we had for New Year’s Eve also made me grin.

During our last date, he’d offered to take me to New York so that we could club it up with some of his promoter friends there and watch the ball drop at midnight. I was so excited that he had even asked me. However, I knew that I couldn’t leave my kids at a time like this, so I had told Priest that I couldn’t imagine not spending New Year’s Day with my kids. So, he had gotten us VIP tickets to a NYE party at a popular club downtown. They had four DJs lined up for the night. I had been so ready to get pretty and countdown the new year with him.

But because I couldn’t control my anger, I could possibly be spending New Year’s Day behind bars.

And just like that, my mind was right back on Rah, the man who made betrayal an art. And although I had been trying not to, I started to recollect everything. As each thought crossed my mind, the tears poured out, and small weeps escaped me. I bit down on my lip, trying to muffle my cries. But it was hard when I thought of how that man had played me, cheated on me, had a baby on me, gotten my kids taken away, and hid money from me.

The money, I thought.How did he have that much money?

“Oh my God,” I gasped as I sat straight up.

My eyes bulged as the realization came to me.

“The bank robbery. That motherfucka!”

It was him. I knew it! It had to be Rah! Although neither oneof the guys that day had looked or sounded anything like Rah, I figured that he had to be behind that robbery. How else would he, right after the robbery, come up with all that cash? And I suddenly realized that I must have recognized his friend as the one that had the gun on me.

I wept into my hands, crying, “Oh, Jesus.”

KAHLANI

“How she doin’?” Moses asked as I ended the call with Solae.