Page 70 of Rah

“Let’s just take a ride. I don’t want to argue in front of the kids.”

I rolled my eyes into the back of my head. Yet, I fought the venom that was threatening to come out of my mouth in words.

I knew him. Had I started going off right then, he would stubbornly pull off before I was able to say what I had to say.

“The kids aren’t home. We can go inside.”

I could hear him huffing and puffing as he got out of the car, like me even asking him to come inside was putting himout of his way. By the time we made it to the door, his heavy sighs had my skin crawling. The man had the nerve to act haughty, like he hadn’t done a damn thing wrong, likeIwas the problem.

We stayed quiet as I slid the key into the lock and pushed open the door. The silence wasn’t peaceful; it was suffocating. I went straight to the kitchen, because if I was gonna deal with Rah, I needed a shot. He followed, taunting already, “You’ve really been showing your ass, Solae. You’re causing all this drama in the family for nothing.”

I spun around, glaring at him. “Fornothing? You called DCFS on me, Rah! You cheated on me and had a baby on me. You have an entire home with another woman! You think that’s nothing?”

He shrugged, smug. “You’re making it bigger than what it is. You’re overreacting. If you knew how to play your role, half this shit wouldn’t even be happening.”

Even though Rah had been showing his entire ass as of late, I was still shocked that he could be so nonchalant about all of this. I stared at him, blinking slowly, wondering how he could be so heartless. But he just looked at me likehewas disappointed inme.

“Your games caused Essence to get sexually assaulted in that group home!” I finally told him. “Do you hear me? Your bullshit, yourselfishnesscaused some older boy to take advantage of our child!”

I thought that would cause the Rah I knew to return. I thought he would change back into the loving father that he once was. Yet, Rah just sucked his teeth, rolling his eyes. “That’s not on me. Don’t try to put that on me, Solae.”

I stepped closer, shaking, screaming now. “Are you fucking serious?!”

He sneered. “Yeah, it’s your fault those kids got taken because you overreact to everything. You shouldn’t have burned my money or put me out. You’re making yourself the victim. But this is on you. If you was the ride-or-die bitch for your man that you supposed to be, none of this would’ve happened to Essence.”

My stomach dropped, but he wasn’t done. He leaned in closer with venom dripping from his words. “You don’t seem to care too much about Essence, since you already got another boyfriend. You probably was fucking him while we were together. No wonder you put me out so fast. Maybe if Essence wasn’t such a hoe like her mother, then maybe this wouldn’t have happened to her.”

I felt my soul leave my body. Anger coursed through me so hard I couldn’t breathe. My vision blurred red, and before I even knew what I was doing, my hand reached for the knife set on the counter.

The handle was cold against my palm as I yanked one free. Every ounce of pain, every betrayal, every word he’d spit at me boiled over.

“You motherfucker!” I screamed, and then I lunged at him with the blade.

AALIYAH

The insomnia caught up with me as soon as Fabe slid out of me. We both laid beside one another completely silent. Only our heavy breathing could be heard. We made up for lost time with hours upon hours of what felt like him sweetly punishing me with his dick for keeping the pussy away from him.

At first, I got anxious because he wasn’t saying anything. I thought he was beginning to regret the love that we made. However, just as my heart began to beat heavy with disappointment, he rolled over and held me. Once again, I was lost in the love I felt in his arms and was asleep before I knew it.

Until Junior’s cries woke me up, and I was jolted out of my sleep. I had been so comfortable that I nearly forgot that he was in the corner in the bassinet. The hotel had blackout curtains, so I couldn’t see the sun. Yet, I heard the birds chirping, so I knew that it had to be the early hours of the morning. I crept through the darkness to feel around thebassinet and find Junior’s pacifier. Angrily, he spit it out as soon as I put it in his mouth.

It was past time to feed him. Regretfully, I turned on the light, realizing that I had to fully wake up from such a good sleep.

That’s when I noticed that the bed was empty. Where Fabe was once lying, beautifully naked, was an empty space. Only the impression of his head on the pillow was there. Curiously, I looked inside of the bathroom. There was only darkness inside. Junior started to cry. I picked him up from the basinet while noticing that Fabe’s coat was missing as well.

He was gone. Snatching my phone from the nightstand, I dialed Fabe’s number. It wasn’t a mystery how he could have left without me knowing. I was knocked out. But I was irritated that he didn’t even say goodbye.

Irritation turned to dread when my call went straight to voicemail. Every time I called – six times– it went straight to voicemail.

Dread turned to panic when I saw the closet door open. I jumped up so fast that Junior jumped in fright. Though he was still whimpering, I lay him in the bassinet as I went towards the closet. I flung the door wide open. Just as I suspected, the large garbage bags was gone! The money was gone!

“Fuck!”

I felt so stupid. He was gone for good. I knew it. He hadn’t mentioned anything about any money while he was there. Angry was not even the word to describe what I was feeling as I slammed the closet door. Junior burst out into a panicked cry then. So did I, as I slid down the wall and threw my arms over my head.

That was all that I had. Fabe knew that. He didn’t even leave me a little, not even a dollar. I didn’t have anywhere elseto go. I didn’t know what else to do. Obviously Fabe and Rah were working together and against me. If Fabe knew about the money, then he probably had an idea that I knew about the murder too.

I had no choice but to leave. I wasn’t going to just sit there and wait for Rah to come next. I stood up to get myself together. As I looked in the mirror, with my baby’s screams serenading me and Rah’s bruises looking back at me, I stared at the reflection of my stupidity.