Page 6 of Rah

As I pulled off, my body was still humming from his touch, and I hated myself for it. I loved Rah. So, why the hell did it feel like part of me had just left something I wasn’t ready to let go of?

AALIYAH

“Why does your damn phone keep ringing, Rah?”

The admiring smile that Rah then gave his newborn son made me blush. “Stop cursing in front of my son.”

“Are you serious?” I was beaming. “He’s a day old, Rah. He can’t hear me.”

Rah smiled proudly at his son that I was holding close to my chest. I was performing skin–to–skin. The nurses had me hold my baby while naked, to my bare chest for a certain amount of time ever since he was born last night. I had never heard of such a thing since this was my first born. The nurses said that studies had shown that the skin–to–skin technique had short and long term benefits. I was prepared to do whatever I had to do to make sure that my newborn baby was healthy.

I had lost two babies in the past, so I was extra careful with this pregnancy and my son.

He was my miracle baby.

Rah felt the same way. He sat beside my hospital bed in abig leather chair looking at us with the biggest smile on his face.

“What are we going to name him?”

“Shiiid,” he cursed as he looked like I should know the answer to that already. “His name is Rahzan, after his daddy.”

I giggled because I knew that would be Rah’s answer. Because of Rah’s Muslim name, his baby mama, Solae, hadn’t named his firstborn son after him. She was raised Pentecostal and did not want her kids having Muslim names. Rah had never really gotten over that. Obviously, Rah didn’t practice the Muslim faith like his parents, but he still held those traditions close to his heart.

“Okay, baby. He’ll be Rahzan Shiraz Ramli, Jr.”

To see Rah sitting there with so much pride in his eyes gave me such a feeling of joy.

I loved me some Rah. I met him on a video shoot. I had been doing some Instagram modeling for a few months when I answered a DM about doing a video for the rap artist, Moses. Since I was familiar with Moses and his music, I knew that the music video wouldn’t give me much exposure. But he was a hit in the hood, so I did it anyway. It ended up working out for more than the two hundred dollars I was paid for showing up. It was me and three other big bubble butt chicks with missing waists on set, but Rah kept his eyes on me. Come to find out, as Moses’ manager, he had been the one to DM me. I couldn’t resist a man like him. His presence put me under a spell. He had the height of an NBA player but wide build of an NFL player. His full neatly trimmed facial hair and chocolate skin gave him such a grown man swag. But his swag and persona told me that he was still a street nigga.

After the video shoot, we hit the after party at the bar that he owned on the South Side, The Black Room. I had actuallybeen there a few times, but I couldn’t believe that I had never seen him there before. We partied and popped bottles until four in the morning. Needless to say, we got a room that night and passionately, yet vulgarly, rode each other as the sun came up.

That was a year ago. We had been together ever since.

He spent a lot of time at the bar and trying to get Moses a deal with one of the big labels. Yet, my baby always came home to me and took good care of me. I barely had to lift a finger while I spent my days going to cosmetology school and tending to the house that he bought six months ago. I stopped modeling once Rah and I got serious, a little over nine months ago when I found out that I was pregnant. He didn’t like other men seeing me half naked, so he convinced me to do something else with myself. I then started cosmetology school. Rah was going to buy me my own shop as soon as I got my license. However, now that I had given birth, I was taking a break from school, for maternity leave.

I didn’t blame Rah for molding me into a more mature woman; out of the booty shorts and into a real career. I was twenty–three at the time, and he was thirty. He was older and knew better, so I always listened to my man.

He was a bit of a control freak, and you couldn’t tell him shit. Yet, I appreciated a man that could lead and had enough self–esteem to do so.

I loved everything about Rah. He was my end all and be all. Sitting in that hospital with him and our child was a dream come true. It felt so right.

Nobody could have convinced me otherwise.

Nobody could have made me believe how far left things were going to go after that day.

RAH

Now that I had finally got the opportunity to leave the hospital, I hurried through the parking lot while dialing Solae’s number. The robbery was all over the news, so I knew why she had been blowing my phone up. I had been right next to Aaliyah all day, so I couldn’t answer Solae’s calls. When I did have a free moment, I was busy talking to Nell, making sure that everything had gone according to plan.

Things had gone the total opposite of the fucking plan, though. Those stupid motherfuckers were supposed to get cleanly in and out.

Not commit felony murder!

“Oh my God, Rah!” As I had assumed, Solae was freaking out when she answered the phone. “The bank got robbed today! I’ve been calling you for hours.”

I cringed as I heard the tears in her voice while I sped out of the parking lot of the University of Illinois Hospital.

“I know, baby. I’m sorry—”