Page 56 of Rah

Everyone started to fire questions at the doctor.

“Is he okay?”

“When can we see him?”

“Is he awake?”

The doctor, who I then realized was actually the surgeon, held his hand up to silence everyone. He was a white younger guy. He didn’t look more than thirty and no taller than me. I envied the hand that he was dealt that led him to stand where he was, instead of where I was.

“He is in critical condition. He suffered multiple shots to the torso. Both ruptured his stomach. We removed the bullets and were able to repair the abdomen successfully. He will be in an induced coma to ensure that he doesn’t disrupt recovery. He’s being moved to the ICU. Then immediate family will be able to visit. His doctor will be out shortly if you have more questions.”

He was not trying to get into too much with these black folks. He exited stage right while I moped back over to my seat, thanking God that Moses was still alive and eagerly awaiting the moment when I could see his face.

AALIYAH

Love Island was on low, while Junior was knocked out beside me. The baby had been fussy all day, so I was grateful for the quiet.

Then my phone dinged loud as a fire alarm with a text message alert.

“Shhh,” I whispered to the phone like it could obey me. I snatched it up before it could go off again and wake the baby. My thumb slid across the screen to read the text message I had just received from an unsaved number.

I opened it, and my stomach dropped so hard I felt it in my knees, even though I was lying down.

The photo was of Rah, laid out on some girl’s bare chest, mouth open, sleep with his slobber shining on her skin. The flash had caught everything: the chain on his neck and the shirt he wore on Christmas day, when he said he was heading to see his mama and the kids.

For a second, all I could do was stare. I went numb from the inside out. I pinched the screen to zoom in, like maybe I waswrong, like maybe it wasn’t him, like maybe that wasn’t a bare breast under his drool. But it was him. It was that shirt. It wasthatday.

My hands started to shake. I slapped my hand over my mouth before the scream climbing my throat could wake my baby.

I wanted to throw the phone against the wall, then crawl under the covers, and pretend I’d never seen the photo. Instead, I called the number.

I waited patiently for the woman to answer, while recalling that while I was at home arguing with Solae, he was off with yetanotherwoman.

“So, you send me a pic of my nigga, but you too scary to answer the phone?” I was livid, talking to myself, as I heard the automated system telling me to leave a message.

I had half of a mind to ride up to the hospital and act a fool. Though Rah told me to stay at home because Solae was going to be up there with Kahlani, thus not wanting to cause more tension in the room with my presence, my presence wouldn’t have been about Solae at all.

I was actually reaching for a pair of jogging pants to throw on when my text message notification went off. I was going up to that hospital anyway. Rah could have met me at the damn entrance. I needed to know who this bitch was immediately.

I tossed the jogging pants and dove for my phone. I was hoping that it was whoever this chick was. Unlike other women, I wanted full details of this. I knew men cheated, but Rah had been so far in my ass lately that he had to tell some intricate lies to be somewhere laying up with some chick.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t her. However, it was Rah telling me that since Moses was out of surgery, he was on his way home.Since Moses was unconscious, he was coming home to shower and change.

Perfect, I thought.

I peered over at Junior. He was asleep in our king-sized bed. He could barely be seen. He was so tiny amongst the huge down blankets and decorative pillows. Looking at Junior in that bed calmed me down. I looked around the house and began to think. I had to be really careful about how I approached Rah, because I didn’t want to end up on the streets, in the cold, with an infant.

PRIEST

I never felt right in hospitals. They made me feel like death was coming, probably because every time I was in one, one of my homies had been shot or killed. But I wasn’t leaving. Solae was still folded up in the hard plastic chair beside me. Her eyes were red and raw from crying.

Now that Moses was out of surgery, family was taking turns visiting his bedside, though he wasn’t conscious. Solae hadn’t gone in yet, because she was giving his family time with him. So, I stayed by her side because that’s what she needed.

Across the room, Rah was acting out, talking loudly, and drawing attention to himself. He was pacing, cracking jokes at the wrong time, and failing at masking the fact that my presence was eating at him. The minute he saw me beside Solae, he started puffing his chest out and talking slick like he was that nigga.

But I knew a goofy when I saw one.

Rah wore his ego like a rented suit—loud,flashy, but cheap once you looked close enough. I listened to him brag about the cars, connects, and cash he had. But I could see in his eyes and hear in his tone that he didn’t have it like that. He stunted like he did, but the truth was there. He was all show. He was a clown trying to wear the crown of a king.