Page 23 of Life After Me

Jenn

For all that the daffodils might have been the thing that pushed David over the edge, it did achieve one good thing.

It brought Stuart into my family’s lives.

It was really sweet of him to insist on helping David dig out all the bulbs, although I can’t say I’m that surprised.

He always was a sweetheart, despite the attitude, tattoos and love of everything leather.

A lot of people would judge him just on the way he looks, and miss the heart of gold that’s beating beneath the heavy metal T-shirts.

He was troubled as a youngster, but I always knew he’d grow into a good man.

That’s why I was so pleased when he sauntered up the driveway and Lottie — this time using the excuse of her washing machine being broken to visit and check on her dad — opened the door.

‘Umm, hi.’ Lottie ran her fingers through her currently purple hair and smiled at him. I knew from the glint in her eye that she liked him instantly.

‘Hey. I’m Stuart.’ He gave her a warm smile. ‘Is MrHughes in?’

‘Dad? No, but he’ll be back in a bit.’ Lottie leaned against the door frame casually.

‘Do you know when? I can come back. I wanted to talk to him about an idea I’ve had.’

‘He only went for a walk. Should be back in a few minutes. You could wait inside.’

‘You probably shouldn’t invite me in. You don’t even know me.’ Stuart’s eyes crinkled with laughter.

‘Sure I do.’ My daughter shrugged. ‘You were at the wake.’

‘So you remember me?’ Stuart was trying not to smile and I realised that he was flirting with her.

‘It was a bit of a blur, but yeah... I remember you. Though I guess you probably don’t remember me. I didn’t quite look myself.’ Lottie tugged a strand of her hair. ‘This was all covered, and I wasn’t dressed quite so...’

Stuart looked down at her tight jeans, shredded top and bright bangles.

‘Hotly?’ He offered the word and I found myself blushing on Lottie’s behalf.

He really liked her. This was interesting.

They would make quite a cute couple, and Stuart was genuinely nice.

After all the rubbish Lottie’s been through lately, she could do with a nice guy in her life.

And I had a good feeling about this. ‘But yeah, I remember you too.’

‘So are you coming in to wait?’ She ignored his compliment, although I knew she was pleased.

‘What about him?’ Stuart’s eyes dropped to the dog sitting patiently at his feet.

Lottie looked down in surprise. ‘Oh, he can come in too.’ She stepped back to let them in.

Stuart paused as he passed by her. ‘I’m sorry about your mum. She really was someone special. She changed my life.’ He pulled a face. ‘Sorry, I probably shouldn’t have said that. I hope I’ve not upset you — I shouldn’t have brought it up.’

‘No.’ Lottie shut the door quietly. ‘You’re right.

Mum was amazing. It’s sort of nice, you wanting to talk about her.

Everyone’s being so delicate and treating me so gently.

They all walk around on eggshells all the time.

It’s good to actually have someone talk about Mum normally.

Even if you did spoil it by apologising within three seconds. ’

‘In that case I apologise for my apology.’

Lottie treated him to a grin before spinning on her heel. ‘Well, in that case, I might just let it slide. Do you want tea or coffee?’

* * *

David

I hung my coat by the door and wandered into the kitchen when I got back from the doctors, and came face to face with a toothy grin and rapidly wagging tail. Strong, heavy paws slammed against my thighs as the dog leaped up with a slobbery, cheerful greeting.

‘ Ugh , get off.’ I tried to remember his name.

‘Jake... Jim... Jet... Jules... Jasper! ’ Wild brown eyes looked up at me.

‘There’s a good boy. Get down!’ The slobbering continued unheeded until a sharp whistle sounded from the living room.

He looked up at me with reluctance in his eyes.

A second whistle demanded his attention and he gave a half-amused snort before shooting into the living room, paws skidding across the floor on his way.

I followed him, wondering what was going on.

Stuart was sitting on the sofa, holding a mug.

His black leather coat, metal studs and muscular dog clashed with the quiet comfortable feeling Jenn had created in this room, but he seemed relaxed and at home as he grinned at me.

‘Hey, MrHughes. I hope this big lump didn’t scare you.

’ He nudged the Staffy cross with his foot.

‘Awww, he’s a lovely boy, aren’t you Jasper? Not at all scary.’ Lottie fussed the dog who fawned shamelessly. ‘Besides, we used to have a dog of our own, didn’t we, Dad?’ She shot me a look.

‘Yeah.’ I grinned. ‘If Jasper is anything like Daisy, he was probably just in the kitchen scrounging for dropped crumbs.’

‘More than likely.’ Stuart laughed. ‘So how are you doing, MrHughes?’

‘I’m all right thanks. But don’t you think it should be David?

You did dig through a mountain of dirt to rescue thousands of daffodil bulbs with me.

Besides, your Jasper seems to have made himself right at home.

’ I glanced over to the dog who was wriggling happily on the floor as Lottie scratched his belly.

Stuart pulled a face. ‘Sorry about him. He’s got no manners at all.

It’s actually the daffodils that have brought me round here.

’ Stuart stood and looked around awkwardly for somewhere to put his mug.

Lottie took it from him in an easy move.

He flashed her a smile before turning back to me.

‘I hope you don’t mind me just dropping round, but. .. Do you still have all the bulbs?’

‘Yes. I’m not sure what to do with them.’

‘I’ve got an idea about that. If I get the school to bring over the minibus, could you load them up?’

‘Why? I’m not dumping them.’

‘He’s not asking you to, Dad. He’s got a brilliant idea. I think you’re really going to like it.’

‘So are you going to tell me what it is?’

‘Nope.’ Lottie shook her head. ‘We’re keeping it a surprise.’

* * *

I followed Lottie and Stuart up the path towards the school.

‘Are you sure this is all right?’ I didn’t like the thought of being on school grounds at the weekend.

I’d been there lots of times with Jenn, usually roped into helping with one of her fundraising activities, but this felt very different.

‘It’s fine.’ Stuart held up a bunch of keys.

‘I told you I work here part-time. The staff liked my idea, so gave me the keys to the gate.’ He shrugged easily.

‘Besides, if anything happens, the head and caretaker both know where I live.’ He jiggled a couple of keys into the padlock on the gate before finding the right one.

‘Come on. It’s just up the top of the hill. ’

I hung back slightly to let Lottie and Stuart talk.

I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but Lottie seemed different around him.

I trudged up the slope behind them, wondering what this was all about.

It had taken Lottie a lot of nagging to convince me to join in with their game, and though I’d been intrigued at first I was starting to regret it.

Stuart turned to face me when he reached the top of the hill that was the back of the sports field and the edge of the school grounds. The rest of the hill disappeared beyond the heavy steel fences that marked the boundaries.

‘Well? What do you think?’ Lottie asked excitedly.

‘I’m not sure what I’m supposed to think.

’ I looked around and spotted odd designs that had been spray-painted over the grass.

There were long, sweeping curves that cut through the slope of the hill and ended in a big circle.

Huge squares broke up the sweeping patterns, and long, skinny rectangles sat along the edge of the fences.

Stuart took a deep breath. ‘These squares are picnic tables. The circle would be benches and curved seating, and the long thin ones are normal benches. The curves are pathways and everything else, well, that’s where the daffodils could go. If you like the idea.’

I stared across the slope and paint as I tried to take in the patterns and understand what they meant. I didn’t realise how long I’d been silent until a small hand slipped into mine. I looked down at the bright blue fingernails.

‘Well, what do you think, Dad?’

I shook my head. I didn’t want to hope this could really happen. ‘It would take for ever to plant all the bulbs.’

‘Not as long as you’d think.’ Stuart folded his arms. ‘We asked for volunteers. Half the school’s already signed up. Everyone here loved MrsHughes and wants to be part of remembering her. If you like the idea, it could be a nice memorial.’

I nodded slowly, not trusting myself to speak past the lump in my throat. When I looked out across the fields again, I could almost see the green grass disappear in a haze of yellow heads that waved cheerfully in a non-existent breeze. ‘It sounds perfect. Jenn would have loved it. Thank you.’

* * *

The next Saturday I was standing in the school playing field by 8 a.m. Istuffed my hands deeper into my pockets and blew a cloud of frozen air across the empty grounds.

‘You still think this is a good idea?’ I glanced over to Lottie and Stuart who were pulling on gloves and flinging open the doors of the school minibus.

‘Yup.’ Lottie gave me a cheerful grin as she grabbed the first bucket of bulbs.

‘But no one’s here.’

‘It’s still early.’ Stuart reassured us both as he lifted out another bucket of bulbs. ‘They’ll come.’