Page 84

Malia

Keahi’s not saying anything.

Why isn’t he saying anything? He’s just looking at me without making a peep.

I lower my fork, my appetite dwindling as foreboding fills my stomach.

"Is that a problem?" I add eventually.

I never thought I needed children to be happy – least of all biological ones – so I wasn’t too devastated about my parents’ choice.

Of course, I would have liked to make a decision about it, but what’s done is done.

Keahi takes a few more breaths before answering.

My hands are clammy and cold by the time he opens his mouth.

Why do I feel so nervous?

"No.

Just a change of plans, I guess," he answers slowly and very much not convincingly.

My heart drops a little. It’s obvious he’s not happy about this. He probably wants children, and I never even thought to bring it up.

Shit, the foreboding turns into lead in my stomach.

I never told him.

I take a small sip of my water to loosen the knot in my throat, but it does little to help. Instead of feeling better, my eyes start stinging in the silent seconds that follow, newfound doubts rushing over me. Why isn’t he saying anything? Is he angry? Is it a dealbreaker?

I blink rapidly as I set my glass back down.

I don’t want to cry, not right now, but when Keahi sees what’s happening, he quickly gets off his chair and walks over to me.

"No, hey.

Don’t cry.

It’s fine, we can figure it out." He pulls me into his arms as much as he can with me sitting. A few people closest to us gape a little, making me flush. What is wrong with me? I’m not a crier. I’ve never been a crier, so why am I starting now, always around Keahi?

"I’m sorry," I say a little choked, lowering my eyes to the table to ignore our surroundings.

I don’t want to disappoint him, and if he wants children, that means he needs to have that with someone else.

Nothing’s decided.

There are other options.

I’m getting ahead of myself. He hasn’t even said anything about it yet. Not really, at least.

"Don’t be sorry.

You have nothing to be sorry about," he soothes me softly.

I seriously need to pull myself together. I’m causing a scene.

"Sorry, I’m fine." I laugh wetly and wipe my eyes, pulling away from him.

He reluctantly lets go of me.

"Are you sure?" He asks.

I nod and watch him sit back down, studying me closely.

"I take it you want children?" I ask finally.

"I guess.

I haven’t thought about it much.

Not for some time, but maybe at some point." The lump in my throat remains and makes it hard to speak, so I just keep nodding my head.

"But it’s fine.

There are other ways to have kids, so if that becomes relevant at some point, we’ll find a way.

We’re still so young. Let’s not worry about it," he assures me. I know there are other ways, but what if he wanted kids of his own? Maybe with his powers or eye color. It’d be the cutest. Could I ask him to give that up?

This seriously sucks.

One thing my parents did that I didn’t pay much mind to now feels like a massive punch in the face.

Whatever, no need to let it ruin our night.

As Keahi said, it probably won’t be important for many years.

"Yeah, right.

Let’s talk about something happier." I laugh awkwardly because I don’t know what else to do.

"For example, how we’re moving in together tomorrow?" He wiggles his eyebrows excessively.

"Exactly like that.

Do you want to help me bring over my things after we’re done with work? There’s not much, so one drive should be enough."

"Sure thing.

My shift tomorrow is at the same time as today, so I’ll just wait in your room until you’re done.

I’ve already cleared out some drawers at my place for your clothes and stuff. We should probably go buy some extra furniture eventually, nonetheless. And some essentials you don’t have yet. Maybe the next time we both have a day off?" he proposes.

"Sounds like a plan.

I’ll pack my things tonight." We’re both grinning stupidly, and I don’t even have it in me to care.

We watch our show for a few hours until I decide it’s time to go.

I’d love to stay, but we’ve done so well, I can wait one more night.

I’m scared I’ll jynx something and doom our relationship if I don’t go through with the two-week rule now.

"I’ll see you tomorrow." We’re standing in front of his door, standing closely together as neither moves to make me leave.

"See you then," Keahi replies, and I finally force my feet into compliance to walk out the door of his place.

In less than twenty-four hours, it’ll be our place.

I can’t contribute financially, but it’ll be my home as well. Finally, I’ll get what I’ve longed for for so long.

Thanks to Keahi...

He was the one who took me in and convinced me to help Arcane despite all my reluctance and threats.

He was the one who has brightened up my days ever since, and he’s the one I’ll finally share a home with. I love him so much, sometimes I’m scared my heart will explode.

I flop down on my bed, imagining and planning my move tomorrow.

And whatever may come after that, and despite my heavy eyelids, I can’t seem to stop contemplating long enough to fall asleep.

I don’t mind, though, since work tomorrow shouldn’t be too exhausting, and I will certainly sleep well in Keahi’s bed. Or our bed, maybe.

I’d hate to think that I was intruding by calling or thinking of his things as partly mine, but when I talked to Keahi about it, he assured me he likes it when I do it so I’m making a habit out of it.

He started doing it too, and that definitely helped against my unease.

More than that, it’s really nice to hear him call his place our home.

By the time my alarm goes off, I still haven’t managed to truly fall asleep.

I might’ve drifted off a bit between scenarios, but not much more.

That wasn’t meant to happen. I’m tempted to ignore what I’m supposed to do, but get up, nonetheless. After all, Keahi will be here in my room in a few hours’ time from now. That reminds me, I forgot to pack last night. I was so busy daydreaming; it totally slipped my mind.

I start rushing through my room, messily throwing all of my belongings into bags or boxes.

I’m so going to be late.

I throw on my uniform and brush my teeth once everything is "packed" and head to training room 19. The guards are already all here. Great, I’m late and already sweaty. I don’t bother apologizing but start my lesson as always.