Page 46

Keahi

I have no idea how long Malia has held me for.

My thoughts are swirling, and my emotions are all over the place.

It just feels like too much has happened with not enough time to cope in between. First, kissing Malia, then worrying about where she is, getting captured by the enemy, being rescued, the fight with Malia where I almost admitted my feelings, which would have undoubtedly scared her away for good, and lastly Kaz’ death.

Kaz is dead because of me and my inability to think rationally when it comes to this woman.

Malia eventually leads me to my bed and tells me to sleep.

There’s no way I can do that.

She seems to come to the same conclusion since she offers to help me. It’s something she learned back at the academy, calming someone’s mind.

Thanks to that, I sleep through the whole night and only wake up when my phone vibrates on the nightstand.

By that time, morning light is streaming through my bedroom window.

I go to reach for it but find my arm in the tight clutches of two smaller hands.

Malia is sleeping next to me which would send my mood through the roof if it weren’t for the weight pressing onto my chest.

I grab my phone with my other hand and decline the call. It’s just Flint, so I text him I’ll call him back before turning back toward the beautiful girl beside me.

I don’t know how she’s still a deep sleeper after everything that’s happened to her, but my phone didn’t wake her.

Weakly, I find myself smiling at her.

A strand of her black hair is laying across her face, teasing me. A day ago, I would’ve refrained from brushing it aside, convinced it would be my death sentence. Now, considering she’s holding me tightly in her sleep, I entertain the thought of touching her.

How would her skin feel against my fingertips? What about her hair?

I reach forward and gently brush the stray strand to the side.

Her eyes flutter open and widen when she sees me.

After a short moment, the surprise is wiped off her face and she just looks up at me. She doesn’t glare, just looks. I let my hand linger on her face, soaking up her warmth for as long as I dare before pulling it back.

"I didn’t mean to fall asleep here," she confesses, still lying on her side and looking at me.

I can’t help but smile softly.

"What happened? Did you decide to watch me sleep and couldn’t bring yourself to leave anymore?" I tease half-heartedly.

She rolls her eyes and sits up, quickly sobering.

"I can’t believe we only have five days." Her expression hardens.

"It’ll be fine.

Flint called me, probably to tell me the plan." I reach for her hand, but she pulls away.

The rejection stings, but I ignore it, understanding that I’m in no position to ask for anything. She offered me support last night, but that doesn’t mean all is forgiven and well. Nothing is, and I know it. I haven’t done anything to deserve her forgiveness yet.

"What did he say?" The two of us are sitting next to each other but she doesn’t meet my eyes.

"I don’t know, didn’t take the call," I mumble.

She looks at me with furrowed eyebrows before getting up.

"Call him back and tell me what the plan is.

I’m taking a shower." With that, she walks out of my room, leaving it feeling a lot colder.

Despite wanting to make amends properly, I can’t help but ask myself how so much distance can be between us after last night. Nothing is forgiven but something did change, didn’t it?

I used to laugh at people complaining about going two steps forward and one back.

If I knew this is where I’d end up, dealing with the constant hot-and-cold moods of Malia, I wouldn’t have found it funny.

"Answer my call the next time.

I’m busy," my supervisor says over the phone.

"Sorry.

What’s the news?" I ask, apologizing half-heartedly.

He’s busy? Please.

"We’re having a meeting at the academy in an hour.

Bring the girl." That’s all he says before hanging up on me.

Bring the girl. I roll my eyes. She has a name. And he knows it too.

I wait for Malia to come out of the shower to tell her the news when she surprises me by coming into my room wearing nothing more than a towel.

She heads straight for the dresser, not gracing me with a single look as she stands with her back to me.

My mind desperately tries not to go places as my eyes scan her from head to toe.

Her shoulder-length hair is wet, dripping water on her floor and, which is so much worse, makes for a stream of droplets to glide down the curve of her shoulder blade.

A shoulder blade wrapped in skin that bears faint markings.

I can’t distinguish what they are, but it looks from here as if her back was two-colored with lighter dots all over it.

I think back to the prickly chair I was tied to.

I never checked to see that it was made of.

Is that what those marks are from? It didn’t leave any signs on me, but with time and enough pressure applied, I guess they could have caused the kind of damage now portrayed on her skin.

I swallow thickly, wishing I could ask her about her time at the camp while simultaneously wanting to never think about it again.

"I’m flattered but I’d like to change," Malia interrupts my thoughts without turning around, clearly thinking I’m checking her out.

Which I initially did, but I don’t correct her since she probably wouldn’t take any referral to her scars lightly.

Heat rises up my neck and I avert my eyes. I want to get off the bed and give her privacy, but she stops me.

"You don’t have to leave the room.

Just turn around, geez.

What did Flint say?" I turn around and quickly tell her about the meeting.

"Great," she exclaims annoyedly.

"Do you have any other clothes for me than sweats then?" I turn around, intending to get her clothes and expecting her to already be covered but quickly cover my eyes.

She’s standing in nothing but her underwear and is looking at me over her shoulder. The same underwear she wore when she arrived, although she’s clearly cleaned it with her powers since then since there’s no blood on her bra now. Shit, I haven’t even thought of getting her some clothes.

"Sorry- I thought-" I stutter and am rewarded by a genuine laugh from her.

"Relax and give me something to wear." I pull my hands away from my eyes and straighten up.

It takes all my self-control to keep my eyes on her face, and it only gets harder the closer I come.

Still, I force myself to remain the perfect gentleman. I reach into my closet to get out one of my tight black uniform pants and matching shirt, praying my mind will turn back on once she’s dressed.

"They probably won’t fit," I say as I hand her the clothes.

"I’ll make it work," she tells me.

I leave the room to take a quick shower myself and the two of us are soon standing in my living room, ready to go.

To my surprise, my clothes fit her fairly well, although I do think her powers have something to do with that since my pants would no doubt be scraping the floor otherwise. Now, they are tight in all the right places, torturing me just as that damn towel did.

What was that thing about the forbidden fruit again?

"Look, they might not be too pleased to have you there.

Just ignore any possible comments and stay calm, okay? We need you.

You and I know that. They should too, but they might not like it, and it only gets worse if you confirm their fears by attacking someone," I say cautiously before we leave.

"You don’t think I can stay professional?" she demands with half a grin on her face.

"That’s not what I said.

But we’ll be back at the academy and everything, you know? You have every reason to hate the people you’ll meet today, but I’m asking you to ignore those feelings for a few days.

I just wanted to mention it." I don’t indulge in any banter since my frayed nerves won’t allow it. When her grin is wiped away by a scowl, I sense I’ve made a mistake.

"Well, there go my plans to get there and slaughter them all, because that would be on brand, wouldn’t it? Good thing you reminded me to keep things civil.

Let’s go." She pushes past me, shoving her shoulder into my stomach as she goes just enough to be entirely intentional.

Good job, Keahi. You were on fine terms for about half an hour before you had to go and offend her.

I mentally punch myself as we walk to the academy in tense silence.

Once we reach our destination Malia hesitates.

I look to my side to see her hands shaking slightly at her side while her shoulders are stiff. I’d like to reach for her hand, but withhold, sure she would anything but appreciate that. I choose to say nothing and open the door in front of us for her. We enter the Guard’s building and head to the back entrance leading into the academy from there. It’s one of the only entrances to the fort that doesn’t require a specific handprint.

It instantly becomes clear that nothing about this place has changed since I left, which shouldn’t surprise me as much as it does.

The halls are animated, and kids’ laughter rings in my ears like a familiar tune.

It feels weird being back here, especially with Malia next to me.

I’d always thought if that was to occur again, I’d be overjoyed.

Instead, what I feel now is the weight of lost time.

"Come on," I say softly and start leading the way.