Page 22

Malia

If I was expecting Keahi to be here when I woke up, I was sorely mistaken.

Instead, Kaz is sitting in a chair next to my bed, looking exhausted.

I wonder how much time he’s spent here waiting for me to wake up.

"What time is it?" I ask, startling him since he was obviously too deep in thought to notice my awakening.

He straightens in his seat, something in his big back popping as he does.

Despite that, he smiles at me warmly. "Ten am."

I’m sitting upright in a matter of seconds.

"The next day? That would mean I’ve slept for over fifteen hours!"

“You clearly needed some good rest,” he replies, not at all fazed by my outburst.

I don’t share the sentiment.

"I need to get to class," I argue, already prepared to stumble out of bed when he pushes me back.

"You are excused," his voice is firm but gentle, "from your classes and training today.

I, on the other hand, should get going soon."

"I feel fine, really.

I don’t want to be stuck here all day." Even the thought of being alone with my thoughts seems dangerous right now.

There’s a weight on my chest I don’t want to ponder and an itch in my side where I was shot that’s probably just a creation of my imagination. I don’t want to be left alone in the quiet.

"I can ask if Wystan can stay with you?" he proposes, but I shake my head.

I don’t want them to pity me or to fall behind.

I also really can’t stand the thought of talking about what happened, which is certainly what my friend would want to do.

"I don’t need a babysitter," I grumble.

My trainer chuckles softly.

"That is not what I suggested.

But you almost died yesterday, Malia. Needing a friend wouldn’t be a shame." Almost died yesterday. The words are like a slap in the face. I was so busy worrying about that boy that I barely even thought about what was happening to me, but I guess Kaz is right. If it hadn’t been for Keahi, I wouldn’t be here having this conversation right now.

"I’m fine.

I’m a fighter, remember?" I say, forcing a lightness into my voice that I don’t feel.

I certainly don’t feel like a fighter right now. More like two day old roadkill.

But my trainer doesn’t need to know that after he stuck by my side in that uncomfortable chair for fifteen hours.

I feel bad enough as it is.

There’s no need to burden him more than necessary.

He smiles at the memory and leaves soon after.

Once the door has closed behind me and I’m encased by silence, my shoulders drop on a heavy sigh.

I almost died yesterday. A tremble starts in my hands, spreading up my arms and down my torso until my entire body is quaking with a mix of emotions I can’t even begin to unravel. I really, really want to get out of this big room with zero distractions.

When I’m told I’m free to leave after one last check-up, my gratitude for having a nurse with powers reaches new heights.

There’s still some time for me to get dinner, so I go to the great hall feeling jittery and anxious.

As much as I yearned to get out of the infirmary, I wonder if I will fare any better in the crowded cafeteria as the loud chatter inside reaches my ear.

How many inside know about what happened yesterday? Will they stare? Whisper? Ask questions? The last notion scares me the most. I really don’t want to think about what happened, least of all talk about it. Everything about that day can go straight into the steel box in the back of my mind along with thoughts of my parents and my weird dreams. Everything that makes me feel emotional and weak.

I hype myself up for a good few minutes before pushing open the cafeteria’s doors, reminding myself to keep my head high and ignore any possible interferences.

Then, I head straight for my friends’ table without taking in my surroundings.

If anyone stares or whispers, I don’t realize it. Still, my heart is racing and my palms sweaty by the time I plop down in a seat next to my friends, foreign anxiety making the crowded space a living nightmare. It only gets worse when I have to face Wystan and Dustin’s curiosity.

They ask me a million questions about what happened and how I’m feeling, and while they mean well, reliving the whole event makes another ten-pound weigh drop on my chest.

That’s why I excuse myself early and leave the cafeteria as soon as I’ve swallowed the last bite of my meal.

I only walk a few steps into the hall before I hear someone catching up with me.

I snap around, my heart stopping for a second as a déjà vu from yesterday appears to me.

A second man in the van. His feet hitting the ground. An ear-splitting sound. My eyes refocus and I sigh in relief when I recognize Keahi. My racing heart gives a yearning lurch.

"Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.

I was just curious where the princess was sneaking off to at this hour," he says, and while his voice lacks its usual harshness, he acts no differently than he did that night in the library.

He smirks at me like he has done a million times before, and the familiarity makes me feel better.

"I don’t know yet.

Definitely not my room," I tell him, attempting a smile on my own.

"Really? You’re breaking curfew?" He gasps jokingly, acting scandalized.

I shoved him slightly, my smile feeling a little more natural.

"That depends, are you keeping me company?"

"I mean, it’s definitely a bit more on brand for me to break the rules and I can’t really have you take my title as the bad kid of the academy by going on forbidden missions by yourself.” He pretends to mull it over.

“It seems I am forced to tag along.” He shrugs, grinning, and that’s my only indication that what happened yesterday makes him treat me differently too.

He’s a lot more forthcoming and smiley.

The sight is just so rare and exciting that I can’t even be mad about it.

Not when dimples appear on his smooth bronze cheeks and his full lips reveal a set of beautifully straight teeth.

His eyes dance with mischief. The expression suits him so well, I’m inclined to do about anything to keep this version of him. Even if it means nearly dying in his arms every now and then.

"I found out that the janitor’s closet is never locked so we can stay there until everyone is gone."

He raises an eyebrow at me.

"So I’m too late? You have been breaking the rules without me trying to get a head start? I should have known you wouldn’t let me have my reputation as a misfit.

You’ve been trying to one-up me everywhere since you arrived.” He shakes his head disapprovingly. “Tell me, how, if I may ask, did you come to that information exactly?" he prompts, his mouth tilting and a brow arching.

I shrug innocently and start jogging ahead like the master of smooth deflection I am.

He lets me get away with it and stumbles into the janitor’s closet right behind me.

"There’s no clock here," he points out.

"We’ll hear once it’s time, believe me.

The academy get uncannily silent."

Nodding, he slides down a wall to get comfortably seated, and I do the same on the opposite side of the room.

"So, what did I miss today?" I ask once we’re both settled.

Rather than telling me, he laughs.

"You are unbelievable.

You miss one day of school, and you’re scared of falling behind? You’re the last person that needs to worry about that kind of thing."

"The last person, huh?" I raise an eyebrow even as his words elicit smooth satisfaction.

He rolls his eyes and grabs an empty plastic bottle from a nearby shelf.

Turning it over in his hands, he tries to brush me off.

"You know what I mean. Star pupil, fast learner, all that stuff our teachers never let the rest of us forget."

I feel heat rising in my cheeks but play it cool.

"Are you okay, Keahi? Because that sounded like a compliment." He playfully rolls his eyes and chucks the plastic bottle at me.

I catch it easily and stick my tongue out at him. Then, I catch myself and shut my mouth, already embarrassed by my childish behavior.

For once, Keahi doesn’t pounce at the first chance to humiliate me.

"I owed you for saying I’m the best-looking person you’ve ever seen," he merely replies.

"That doesn’t even sound remotely like me!" I laugh.

"I know you think it, that’s enough.

Remember that time you couldn’t take your eyes off my shirtless chest?" I chuck the bottle back at him.

I do remember that, of course, the sight was glorious, but I was pretty out of it from suddenly slipping into another one of those weird dreams, so it hardly counts.

"In your best dreams maybe."

He just muses in response.

While the noise outside out little bubble subsides and eventually fades entirely, we keep the conversation light and breezy.

"Can we explore the academy now?" I ask eventually when I’m sure it’s after curfew.

It’s barely a question as I’m already on my feet, but Keahi doesn’t protest.

He even takes the hand I offer him to get back to his feet. I open the door a sliver, looking left and right to make sure there’s no patrol in the hallway. Then, we slip outside and start sneaking through the dimly lit corridors.

It’s almost eerie, seeing this place that’s usually always bustling with noise and life so deathly silent.

It reminds me a bit of the restricted corridor leading to the training areas outside, which in turn reminds me of the last training exercise outside.

I quickly shoot down that train of thoughts, instead focusing on Keahi’s light steps at my side. I let the even patter soothe me.

We’re just passing the door to the great hall when Keahi halts in his tracks.

I turn to him, opening my mouth to ask what’s up, but his big hand quickly covers my lips to keep me quiet.

I catch on. Someone’s here. I hear the steps coming closer as well and let Keahi pull me to the closest little door. I’ve never even seen it before and soon know why.

It may or may not be the tightest broom closet I’ve ever seen.

Keahi shoves me in first before stepping in behind me and closing the door with a faint click.

I can’t even muster up the fear of being discovered, not when I’m aware of so many other problems at the moment.

The two of us barely fit; he is fully smushed against me, his front to my back, while my knees are pressed up uncomfortably against a box.

When I hear footsteps pass just feet away from our hiding spot, I forget about the discomfort and hold my breath, scared to alert the patrol of our presence.

Only once the footsteps have moved out of earshot does my pulse slow and I realize just how painfully one of the wooden boxes stowed in here is digging into my legs.

I wriggle around, trying to find a position that doesn’t hurt.

"It’s too tight," I whine silently.

Suddenly, there’s a warm hand on my hip, stilling my movements.

"Yeah, well, it’ll get a lot tighter if you don’t stop moving against me like that," he rasps, his breath fanning against the top of my head.

"What do you-" I break off as understanding dawns and stiffen immediately.

My cheeks burn up.

Keahi’s body shakes behind me as he chuckles, all hard ridges and powerful muscle. Awareness pricks at my skin. I am now very conscious of our position and wish I weren’t.

"Oh, relax, Princess," he breaths after a moment, moving his hands so they are on each of my arms to keep me still.

Even though I already wasn’t moving anymore.

Maybe he just wants to hold me. He probably didn’t know where else to put his hands in this tight space.

We fall silent, both straining our ears to know if the air is clear all the while I’m pretending no butterflies are going off in my stomach.

"I think we can go outside now," Keahi finally whispers.

"Wait, not yet," I protest.

What if the patrol is still nearby? Or just over in the next hall ready to bust us there.

There can’t be many unlocked hiding spaces in the other hallways and I’m not willing to take my chances.

"Someone’s enjoying this," he teases me, drawing the wrong conclusion.

I roll my eyes even though he can’t see it.

"If we get caught, we will be sent to our rooms.

I don’t want to go there," I whisper almost soundlessly, scared that he’ll tease me for that too.

He doesn’t say anything, though, but waits until I say we should get out. The corridor is empty, and we continue our nighttime stroll.

"Let’s go to the library," he suggests.

"I’d love to, but it’s closed," I remind him.

He shrugs and pulls me into the right direction.

Once we reach the doors to the library, he lets go of my hand and pulls on them.

"Told you," I say when they don’t budge.

"You’re so lucky to have me," he muses.

I don’t see what he does with the doors next, but soon enough, they swing open.

"Tada!" He turns around with a self-satisfied grin.

"How did you-" He lifts his finger to shut me up.

"A magician doesn’t reveal his secrets, we’ve been over this," he says before pulling me inside and closing the door behind me.

"Wait! So, you could have gotten us out of here at any point if you wanted to?" I ask, thinking back to the time we were locked in here.

He just shrugs and keeps walking.

"How’s your wound, by the way?" he asks casually, and I’m glad he’s ahead and therefore doesn’t see my involuntary flinch at the question.

Again, why is everyone so determined to keep bringing it up?

"What wound? I’m as good as new." It takes some effort to keep my voice even, but I think I did a fairly good job.

"Like nothing ever happened?" He still doesn’t turn around, and I wonder if this topic is as hard for him to talk about as it is for me.

I quickly brush the thought off, though.

Why would it? He’s just being nice. Expressing concern or whatever.

A long shot from Keahi’s usual manners, but I shouldn’t read anything into it.

"Like nothing ever happened," I confirm confidently, and before I can register what’s happening, my company turns around, ducks to bring his head next to my waist, and wraps his strong arms around my waist.

The next thing I know, I’m hanging upside down over the guy’s shoulder.

"Keahi! What are you doing?" I whisper-yell, caught completely off guard.

It’s all I could do to keep my voice low and not screech loud enough to wake the whole Academy.

"Checking if you are all healed up." He starts bouncing me and only stops when I pound my fists against his back.

He chuckles.

“There she is,” he says under his breath.

"Put me down!" I demand and end up back on my feet as fast as I had been swept off them.

All the sudden turns and general movement leave me dizzy, so once the support that was Keahi’s strong hands let go of my body, I sway on my feet.

On instinct, I reach out to steady myself, not thinking twice when the closest thing to hold on to are Keahi’s arms.

I enjoy the feeling of his warm skin underneath my fingertips only for a moment before pulling away, scared Keahi will see right through me.

Luckily, my hands find something else to do, distracting me from the lingering tingle on the tips of my fingers as I try to sort out my messy hair sticking all over my face.

"Hang on, let me," Keahi says softly, reaching out for me without waiting for a reply.

I drop my hands as if on command, only too eager to have him touch me again.

I have to remind myself that this means nothing, even when he starts swiping my hair behind my ears with surprising care.

I watch him as he does, and my heart flutters despite myself.

Stars, what is happening to me? What’s wrong with my body?

"Better," he finally announces, yet his hands remain where they are, cupping my face.

He makes no effort to pull away, and I force my gaze to the ground when his eyes focus on mine, nearly unable to refrain from squirming under his close scrutiny.

My resolve not to meet his eyes crumbles in a matter of seconds and our gazes lock, sucking the air right from my lungs.

Stars, he’s close.

Close and so damn beautiful it nearly hurts. The playfulness has long since left those enthralling eyes of his. Instead, there’s something burning behind them that has my skin tingling with anticipation.

Keahi’s gaze ping-pongs between my eyes, then flicks to my lips.

It lingers, and my heart skips a beat before it comes back up.

My nerves start acting up as his intentions become undeniably clear. He’s about to kiss me.

I want him to kiss me.

I just spent hours on end talking to him and I’m just noticing now how easy it felt.

I wasn’t picking my words carefully, scared of boring him. I just said whatever came to mind and he kept up easily. I’m comfortable with him. Keahi. I like Keahi.

Oh, Stars.

He looks unsure, almost worried as he studies me closely.

Still, so slowly it almost doesn’t seem intentional, he draws nearer.

I remain still as he comes close enough for his breath to fan against my buzzing skin.

What am I doing? Some clarity returns to my mind and just before our lips can meet, I pull away.

He just feels bad for me.

There is no other reason that would explain his sudden interest in me.

"I’m sorry.

You don’t have to-," my voice trails off into the deafening silence, unable to find the proper words to finish the sentence.

I take a few steps back, my gaze fixed on the floor while my stomach plummets.

I don’t want him to get angry at me.

Sure, Aiden’s rejection stung, but I’m fairly certain I couldn’t handle Keahi’s harsh words right now.

My thoughts head further down that path and I’m ashamed to feel tears pricking the backs of my eyes when I realize I probably just ruined the night.

If Keahi leaves, I have to spend the rest of it by myself.

Stupid, useless dumbass.

You’d think I learned from the last time I rejected someone. This time I actually wanted to kiss the person in question. If only he had the right intentions.

I brace myself for some hurtful words or some kind of outburst all the while keeping my eyes on the ground.

It’s fine, I’m a fighter.

I’ll get through this night with or without Keahi.