Page 27

Keahi

Adira just announced Malia’s death.

There was a big gathering in the cafeteria with all the students and faculty present where she told her cover-up story.

She’s lying! I wanted to shout at the top of my lungs, but I kept my silence.

Even as Malia’s friend released a gut-wrenching sob.

I didn’t speak up. What good would it do? For all I know, she could be dead by now. It’s been days since she was taken.

They won’t hurt her; I repeat to myself for what feels like the millionth time.

She is with her family.

It’s easier to convince myself that she’s a traitor than to accept that she’s being held against her will.

Because of me.

My mind has been torturing me day and night. Guilt, slowly eating me up and memories haunting me.

Her deep blue eyes glaring up at me, her voice mocking me, her soft skin against mine.

Our last encounter; my telling her she means nothing to me.

What if she believed me?

All I want is to get her back.

Hear her voice, even if she is using it to insult me.

If not that, then I wish I’d have some sort of certainty that she was alright. It’s her family, she is fine. I don’t believe that, though. I feel like Adira tried to sell me that just to keep me quiet and help my conscience.

If she didn’t, then Malia’s probably telling them all of our strategics right now.

The prospect is enough to bring my anger back.

I know she’s not a traitor, but a part of me hopes she is. If she was a traitor, this would be easier. If she was a traitor, at least she wouldn’t be in pain because of me.

We get the day off, but I head straight for a training room.

I’ve been spending every free minute here since Malia was taken.

Anything to keep my mind off her and this messed-up situation.

If anything, my goal to destroy the Dark Fraction someday just got clearer.

They took everything from me.

First my parents and now Malia. I don’t care if my body is screaming at me to give it a break, to finally catch some sleep and maybe eat something proper. I’ll keep pushing myself until the day I can make them pay and get her back. Because I will. I have to.

"Keahi, it’s almost curfew," Kaz interrupts me at one point.

My heart drops a little.

I hadn’t realized how the time passed.

"Please, Kaz, don’t make me go to my room." The nights are the worst without anything to distract me.

Nothing but endless silence to feed the demons wrecking my unguarded mind.

"You need to sleep.

Come, I’ll walk you up," he offers.

He’s been doing a lot of that, accompanying me around. Whether it’s meant to discourage me from doing something reckless or to show me comfort, I don’t know, though I get the feeling it’s the former.

"I won’t sleep.

I can’t," I mumble.

I hate the pitiful look he gives me, the same one he’s been giving me for days. I don’t need him to pity me. Hell, I don’t even need him to understand me, but is it too much to ask him to cut me some slack? To bend the rules this once to spare me from hours of agonizing obsessing?

Kaz insists on walking me to my room, and I silently tail after him.

I don’t miss the way he eyes me as we pass the janitor’s closet, but I remain impassive even as my insides scream.

He knows. He must. Maybe he has for years but he was never worried about me using the escape route to leave until now. That’s why he’s been escorting me.

My vague plans to go after Malia once I’m no longer turned inside out slip through my fingers.

He’ll never let me out of his sight knowing I can get out. Fuck!

I lie awake for hours, listening to the even breaths of my roommates until finally, exhaustion creeps over my sleep-deprived mind and drags me under.

"Last one at the tree is a loser!" Malia announces before racing to the lone tree on the field behind the academy.

The field is covered in tall grass and beautiful spring flowers, more magnificent than I’ve ever seen it.

And the tree… the tree is certainly new. With a big crown of healthy leaves that flutter softly in the breeze, it creates an ensnaring melody.

Red apples are growing from its branches, contrasting strongly against the green.

That’s not the only new thing, though, I feel different too.

There’s no weight pushing down on me, no headache pressing on my eyes, and no pain in my strained muscles.

I feel happy as I watch Malia run away from me, free as I hear her laugh while doing so.

She is practically glowing.

"Are you coming?" she challenges me, looking over her shoulder.

I fall into step, and she continues to run.

She reaches the tree shortly before me and hides behind it, poking her head out on one side of the trunk before doing the same on the other.

I try to catch her halfheartedly, enjoying her grins and giggles too much to put any actual effort into it.

When I finally feel like closing the distance between us and stepping around the tree, she’s gone.

I turn in a slow circle, my smile slipping as I look for the girl that stood on this very patch of grass mere seconds ago.

The sounds around me die down; I can no longer hear the chirping birds or rustling leaves in the suddenly freezing wind.

I take a step back, and the ground crunches beneath my feet.

What on earth? All the tree’s leaves are dead on the ground while the apples lie rotten between them.

"Keahi," Malia whispers softly from behind me.

I whip around, foreboding cooling me to the bone.

She’s being held by a shadowy figure with a knife to her throat, her skin lacking any tint of color and her eyes wide.

"Keahi, help me.

Please!" she begs.

I try to lurch toward her, only to fall forward while my feet stay rooted in place. I look down at myself to find my ankles chained to the ground.

The figure starts pulling Malia away while she keeps calling out for me.

I try to pull at the chains around my ankles, so much so that my skin is burning and bleeding, but they won’t budge.

I’m forced to watch as Malia gets pulled into the darkness.

Her screams of agony still echo in my ears when the shadowy figure reappears in front of me.

It comes to focus, and I recognize the person.

It’s me.

"Keahi!" Blaze shakes me awake his eyes wide.

I’m drenched in cool sweat and panting slightly, my heart beating in my throat.

Our room is still dark, but I can see the silhouettes of the other guys sitting in their beds. They’re all looking at me, so I painfully force my expression to shut down and my breathing to calm.

"Are you okay? You were screaming in your sleep like crazy.

Was it about the attack? You never told us what it was like to fight the Shadow Handlers.

You know you can-"

"I’m fine.

What time is it?" I cut him off in a cold voice, needing any thoughts of what he’s talking about to leave my mind before I lose it.

"It’s not even five am yet," one of the twins says sleepily.

I get out of my bed and check if the door is unlocked yet.

To my surprise, it is. With that knowledge, I quickly get dressed and leave my room.

Enough is enough, I can’t do this.

Even my subconscious is telling me so in my dreams.

It is my fault Malia was taken so it’s my responsibility to get her back. If Adira and Kaz have already given up on her, that’s them. I refuse to do the same. She would never just give up on me if the roles were reversed. I just know it.

She’s passionate, and loyal, and a damn strong fighter.

She’d fight for what was right, so I better do the same.

I don’t have a plan as I head to the janitor’s closet, but my mind is made up, my resolve made of steel.

I am not leaving her there.

This is what I’ve been preparing myself for since I was five years old after all.

So what if I have to face the Dark Fraction a little earlier than anticipated.

I can do this.

I open the door to the janitor’s closet, my thoughts reeling but my blood humming with anticipation.

I’m finally doing something.

I’m getting her back. I jump onto the container beneath the vent and try to open it, only to find it resisting my pull. What on earth? I yank at the metal grid with more force, but it doesn’t budge.

I jump back to the floor and turn to look for something sharp to jab into the stuck edges, only to jolt in surprise when I see the big silhouette of Kaz standing in the doorway of the small space.

I suck in a breath and bring a hand to my chest, feeling my heart pound heavily beneath it.

“Kaz! Skies, you scared me.”

He shakes his head as if disappointed in me.

“What are you doing here, kid?”

I rack my mind for something to say, some sort of excuse, but I’m too tired for games.

We both know what I’m doing here.

“I can’t leave her there, Kaz. It’s killing me. I can’t sleep or eat knowing she’s out there without those luxuries. I need to see her and make sure she’s okay. I need her safe and home,” my voice is barely above a whisper, and Kaz stays silent for so long, I wonder if he’s caving. If he hears the sincerity in my voice and considers putting me out of my misery.

“I’m sorry you feel that way.

I didn’t want to do this.”

I frown.

“Do what-” But before I can finish the sentence, my vision blurs and darkness takes over.

I’m out cold before my knees hit the ground.

The first signs of consciousness filter through in the form of Adira’s voice.

It’s distorted and feels far away, as if I was in a different room or underwater.

I try to cling to the sound of it, but I can hardly make sense of her words “We don’t need anything major this time. No. Just erase the conversation we had in my office.”

“What should I replace it with?” a foreign voice asks.

“I don’t know.

Just make him believe he passed out once he returned to the academy or something.

Then he wakes up and hears the announcement in the cafeteria with the rest of the students. Oh, and make him forget about this morning.”

A zing of alarm douses over me, giving me the strength to open my heavy lids.

I groan as I do so and take in the foreign room I’m in.

Where am I? Is this still in the academy?

Two heavy hands land on my shoulder and I meet Kaz’ regretful eyes.

“Don’t strain yourself, kid.

This is for your own good. You’ll feel better when you wake up.”

I want to protest, want to ask him what’s going on and what the headmistress is talking about, but before I can open my jaw to articulate the questions, a heavy exhaustion washes over me.

I’m dragged into another deep, deep slumber.

My roommates are still asleep when I wake up from my fitful sleep.

I must’ve had a pretty bad nightmare judging from the queasy feeling in my stomach, but I can’t remember what it was.

That’s odd. Usually, the pictures of my nightmares haunt my mind well into the day.

Oh well, I guess I can’t really complain about that.

I get to my feet and get dressed as quietly as possible, eager to get out of this room and go somewhere to distract myself.

It’s what I have to do. If I don’t keep moving and stay busy, I’ll think about Malia and that it’s my fault she’s-

No.

I slip out of my room and take a heaving breath.

My lungs feel too tight, and I have no idea how to make it better.

I’ve been feeling like this since Adira made that announced about Malia.

I wander through the halls absent-mindedly until I find myself in the library.

As soon as I become aware of my surroundings, I want to turn around, yet something makes me hesitate.

I remember our kiss, the way she slept on my lap, and how peaceful she looked standing on that railing with her head tilted back.

There’s a dead weight on my chest as I walk up to the second floor and head for the railing.

This is just plain stupid, is what I told her.

Let’s hope it really is worth it...

I slowly place my feet on the metal pole and stand up, holding my breath.

Once I find my balance, I look ahead.

The moon is not in front of the window, but I can see the stars.

Malia wasn’t wrong, of course, she wasn’t, the view is beautiful.

My heart has been aching since I lost her, but it feels a little lighter now.

I imagine how she would react if she saw me now.

"See, I’m always right," she’d brag. Along with a mischievous grin, maybe. I look to the side, almost expecting to find her there, only to be assaulted by a wave of grief when she’s not.

My lungs tighten once again as the mental image of her fades away, and I jump off the railing.

Pretending she is here is useless.

I need to train so I can do something.

I exit the library and get back to training.