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Keahi

Did I just tell the enemy we know about their plan? I don’t know what to think.

This could have been a trick of Malia, and I could have just stepped right into her trap.

That is not what my intuition tells me, though.

She clearly doesn’t care about me or Arcane, but she wouldn’t let the children die.

Or would she? No.

I know her. I knew her. Nonetheless, there is no way she’s changed that much.

For the first time in years, I let myself think of the girl in the library.

The water handler that drove me crazy, one way or another, for over five years.

The beautiful person that was able to make me feel like no one else could. The girl I abandoned when she needed me. I bite the insides of my cheeks and sit down on my bed.

When I’m done reflecting on the past, I focus on the future.

Malia is going to help us but it’s putting her in a lot of danger.

Don’t worry, they’ll do a lot worse than that, she said it as if it was some fact, as if she knew exactly what she was talking about. All those scars on her skin, collected over years. A terrible story pieces itself together in my mind.

I see Malia right after she got captured, the fire inside of her still as bright as ever.

Her parents must’ve asked her for information of any sort, but she wouldn’t have told them.

They hurt her. All those scars, some jagged, some smooth, some overlapping. She didn’t get them coincidentally or all at the same time. So many scars.

I think of how Malia acted when I first saw her again and wonder how long it took for her to stop fighting them.

How long it took for her to accept that no one was coming for her.

I hope it wasn’t too long. Please don’t let it have been too long. My mind keeps spiraling, and unwelcome images of Malia getting tortured come to my mind. The wounds she had tonight, the scar I saw at the ball, it makes so much sense now.

It’s my fault.

If I hadn’t needed her help in that training all those years ago, she could’ve won the fight against her own opponent.

She could’ve gotten back inside the academy and would’ve been safe. My stomach twists with guilt that was been buried a long time ago. I even had the nerve to snap at her after seeing her with the enemy.

When I saw her again after so long, it was easy to believe that she was a traitor, despite the small signs otherwise.

The way she changed her voice to address her crew members, like she had something to prove.

Like she was uneasy. They even talked about not being allowed to leave her alone right in front of me, proving something about her was different. I should have known something was up, but I chose ignorance as an easy way out. Now, she is in danger because of me again. If I hadn’t asked her to help us, she wouldn’t be at risk of being caught as a traitor.

It seems stupid of me to even have mentioned it to her, but I know why I did it.

I’m selfish and I couldn’t see her walk out my door, out of my life.

Not again. I didn’t want her to leave, so I said what came to my mind first. It was necessary. It would surely help a great deal if we had Malia’s help.

I realize that I haven’t told my supervisor yet, so I give him a call, ignoring the fact that it’s the middle of the night.

I can’t sleep either way, and maybe Flint is still awake.

He’s called me at night dozens of times when there was a mission to get to.

Seeing as he doesn’t answer his phone, I’d say that he is savoring the lack of attacks tonight differently than me.

I leave a message, telling him it’s urgent and he should get back to me.

I turn off all the lights in my apartment and lie down in my bed.

Sleep doesn’t come, though, my worry nagging at me too aggressively.

Malia didn’t tell me how long it should take her to get what she needs, whatever that may be. How am I supposed to know if something goes wrong?

I groan into my pillow before sitting back up.

This one’s on you, I think to myself.

Not knowing what else to do, I start reading a book, desperate to distract myself.

I wake up to the repeated ringing of my doorbell.

My first thought is Malia and I quickly rush to the door, anticipation and worry urging on my sleepy limbs.

When it’s my supervisor’s brown eyes looking back at me and not the blue ones I was hoping for, my shoulders slump.

"Were you expecting someone else?" Flint asks while stepping into my living room uninvited.

He doesn’t let me answer before speaking again, "What on earth happened here?" I realize I haven’t cleaned up the mess from yesterday yet.

Some things are scattered on the ground and my couch is covered in blood. I wince.

"That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.

Let’s sit down." We take a seat at my table.

I’m not sure where to start explaining so I begin with some general information about Malia. My supervisor listens silently, though I can see the tension in his shoulders. I lastly tell him about last night, leaving out the more intimate parts of our conversation or her scars, and the deal I’ve made. Once my voice trails off, a heavy silence descends upon us.

"You told a member of the Dark Fraction that we know about their plan and then sent her back to their camp?" he finally asks, and I let my head fall onto the table.

"No.

Like I said, she’s not one of them.

Not really, at least," I mumble.

"She’s living with them.

She’s training with them.

She is with them right now. I know you two have history, but I think this is a trick, Keahi." I groan in frustration. He doesn’t understand.

"This has nothing to do with our so-called history.

I saw her last night, it’s not a trick." Flint stays silent.

"You don’t have to trust her.

I’m just asking you to trust my judgment.

She will be able to help us." He nods curtly but doesn’t seem convinced.

"When will she be back? I’d like to talk to her."

"She said she’ll be back when she has what she wants." I shrug slightly, and Flint seems to grow even more suspicious.

"And what is that?" I shift uncomfortably since I cannot provide him with the answers he wants.

"I’m not sure.

Information about the mission, I guess."

"I’m not going to lie, this all seems a little off to me, but the damage has already been done.

Just be careful.

People can change with the right or wrong environment, especially in four years. Just remember to look out for warning signs. And call me if she comes back." He stands up and leaves with a curt goodbye.