Page 52

Keahi

What the actual fuck just happened?

"Damn dude, that must hurt!" one of the guards, who are still standing in the infirmary with me, says.

He and his colleagues start laughing at me, but I only hear fractions of what they are saying over their wheezing.

"ridiculous!"

"the enemy-"

I snap around and glare at them.

"If you don’t shut the fuck up right now, it’ll be the last thing you’ll ever do!" I say in a low voice.

They stop laughing and straighten up, trying to be intimidating. Well, guess what, right now, not even a seven-foot-tall grizzly would scare me off. My source is blazing within me, anger so potent coursing through my veins that I feel rather invincible.

"We are guards.

You have to treat us with respect whether you just got your heart broken or not," one tells me, his eyes still dancing with mockery.

"I’ll break your heart if you don’t zip it, along with every bone in your body.

I’m on the guard too, dipshit." I know I should shut up since these are my superiors, but holy shit, I’m angry.

What just happened with Malia makes no sense, and I certainly don’t need these guards to act like preschoolers and tease me about it.

I was used to being treated with respect at the academy, and even if I’m no longer a student, I still won’t take other people’s disrespect.

I guess I’ve just been reminded of that.

I’m about to establish dominance when the rational part of me returns.

This is not the academy.

If I mess up here, I won’t just get lectured by Kaz. Kaz who is dead- "Your parents, Kaz, and that’s it already, isn’t it? All the people that have ever cared about you are dead." What horrible words to spew. Horrible and true.

Moving that thought aside for now, I storm out of the infirmary and go home.

Who cares if Shadow Handlers try to break in? I’m sure they have more urgent things to do right now.

Even if they didn’t, I say let them come. I wouldn’t be mad about a fight to blow off some steam right about now.

I wish I could ignore the things Malia said to me, pretend she was just angry and it came out wrong in the heat of the moment, but I can’t.

She wasn’t angry when she said all that, although that is not even the worst part.

The worst part is the fact that she is right, and she knows it too. She wanted to hurt me as much as possible.

Everyone who has ever cared about me is dead, and I really have been running after Malia like a fool.

I curse myself before slamming my fist against the wall.

Pain shoots through my joints, but I don’t stop. I continue to hit my wall in the same spot until it’s decorated by a bloodstain and my knuckles are raw. I let loose a scream and throw a vase to the ground.

I haven’t felt this angry in years if ever, and it’s overwhelming.

I’m not sure how to deal with the untamable flame raging inside of me, so I keep smashing things.

Finally, I’m too exhausted to go on and collapse on my bed.

I’ve been sleeping in this bed for years, but this is the first time it has ever felt like torture as memories of Malia in it torment my mind.

I turn my head into my pillow, only to get a good whiff of her fucking scent. I turn on my back in the blink of an eye, trying to push away the damn fist clenching around my heart.

I don’t want to feel loss when I think about her anymore, just anger.

What she said to me and how she tricked me wasn’t fair.

Now those guards will walk around and spread the news about my humiliation as well. Fantastic!

I work all my life to be respected and achieve things just for Malia to destroy my reputation for no better reason than her entertainment.

Meanwhile, I was trying to help her, what is wrong with her? I thought we got past the point of her wanting to destroy me for abandoning her.

After everything we talked about, I thought she’d forgiven me. She’d seen I didn’t have a say in her fate.

Honestly, I don’t even care anymore.

She can rot in that damn cell for all I care.