Page 51

Malia

I open my heavy eyelids with an effort, wincing at the bright light greeting me.

Is it day already? I remember the Shadow Handlers catching on to our plan too early and fighting them on the ground.

Someone had to do something. And my plan must’ve worked since I remember them retreating. But my memories end at that.

I blink my surroundings into focus and see Keahi sitting next to my bed, staring at the white wall to my right as if his life depended on it.

"You look terrible," I croak out.

His usually warm brown skin is now a sickly grayish color, but his exhausted eyes, so void of any energy, are what truly make him look horrible.

Turning toward me, he snaps, "Don’t ever fucking pull something like that again! Why would you do something so reckless and stupid? Have you lost your mind?"

"It worked, didn’t it?" I say lightly, but Keahi doesn’t seem amused.

"It’s not fucking funny! You almost died! The nurses weren’t even able to heal all your wounds," he goes on just as furiously.

"I can feel that," I mumble.

"I hope you do!"

"Are you actually angry at me?" I did them a favor.

I was all for watching the two sides slaughter themselves while I lounged up on a tree and watched, but I remembered the contempt Wystan looked at me with, and the laughing kids in the great hall, and the haunted look in Keahi’s eyes when he asked me about killing another person, and my stomach suddenly twisted at the thought.

"No, Malia, I am not angry, I am fucking furious! I couldn’t even move to help!"

"That’s because I knew you’d do something stupid.

I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but fighting by your side doesn’t usually turn out too great for me.

I did what I had to do. Stop giving me shit for it." I try to sit up as I raise my voice, but my stomach twinges uncomfortably when I try.

It’s not like I did it for my amusement.

My whole body is aching, for fuck’s sake.

And I had to paralyze Keahi so he wouldn’t jump down after me and get himself killed.

"It was reckless!" Keahi repeats a little less loudly but no less agitated.

"Or so you’ve said."

"And stupid," he goes on.

"You’ve mentioned that as well."

"And I was very fucking terrified.

When you collapsed and I could move again, I thought-" His voice is soft and pained now, but I don’t let him finish.

"Don’t tell me you care about me." I try to sound exasperated to lighten the mood, but Keahi doesn’t go along.

"You know I do," he says softly without looking at me.

I find myself missing the heat of his gaze, even if my heart feels heavy with dread at his admission.

He told me this before, but at least then I could brush it off to his being upset about Kaz.

"Then you are an even bigger idiot than I am." I repeat.

Keahi looks like he’s about to speak, but I beat him to it.

"You should probably go, I’m sure there’s someplace you’re needed."

"I’m right where I’m supposed to be." He leans back in his chair and smiles weakly at me.

"What, you’ve got no friend to stay with?" I taunt, but he furrows his eyebrows.

"That’s not fair."

"I know." Is all I reply before flopping back on my bed to stare at the ceiling.

"You’re the one that told me to leave you alone.

What did you want me to do, sleep in the hall?" he goes on, and I regret having said anything.

"I know," I repeat.

Before the uncomfortable conversation can go on, we get interrupted by the door flying open.

"Good, you’re awake.

Malia, you’re coming with us." Flint storms inside, followed by five guards.

He’s heading straight for my bed, and I force myself to sit up, masking my exhaustion with a glare.

"What? What are you talking about? She can’t get up yet." Keahi is already on his feet, stepping between me and Flint.

"Keahi, get out of the way," his superior says curtly.

One of his guards steps around Keahi and pulls out a big set of handcuffs.

My heartbeat accelerates and my muscles stiffen, but I force myself to stay still.

"What on earth are you doing? Get away from her with those!" Keahi whirls around, visibly outraged.

"Keahi, we can’t just let her walk freely.

She knows too much, and we can’t trust her.

I’m sure she understands, don’t you?" Flint asks me. Like fuck I do. I keep quiet.

"You’re kidding! We’d all be dead if it wasn’t for her! I said get the fuck away from her!" Keahi snaps at another guard that tries to approach me.

"Keahi, this is your last warning.

Get out of the way before we’re forced to make you."

"There is no way I’ll let you take her," Keahi protests, and I groan inwardly.

Why must he say stuff like that?

"Keahi, shut up!" I hiss even though his standing up for me makes me feel warm all over.

In the end, it doesn’t matter.

All his protests will achieve is more trouble for him. I should have seen this coming. Should have known that as soon as I was no longer of use, I’d be discarded once again. My stomach cramps at the thought. I should have known. I should have been prepared for this and thought of a way out. It shouldn’t hurt like this.

"You wouldn’t stand a chance against us.

Don’t make this unnecessarily worse for yourself," Flint goes on, ignoring me.

"He wouldn’t, but we all know I could," I interject, my pride demanding at least that.

"I also know you won’t." A nasty grin spreads over Flint’s face.

Oh, how badly I want to wipe that off.

"Now, what on earth would make you think that?" I ask through gritted teeth.

"I know you wouldn’t want anything bad happening to him," Flint says referring to Keahi.

"That’s adorable, but I couldn’t care less about what happens to him," I lie.

"Oh please! You two have been spending an awful lot of time together." Flint looks almost victorious, and I curse myself for being so careless and letting my guard down around people I knew I couldn’t trust.

"Keahi is one of you.

What are you going to do, kill him?" I laugh at him, and he doesn’t seem to like that.

"Exiling him would sound fair.

He has quite a number of enemies thanks to you, after all, and it would be a shame if he had worked so hard all his life only to get thrown out two years after becoming a guard for going against orders affiliating himself to you.

Anyway, Malia, you have nowhere to go. If you come peacefully with me, I can make sure of your comfort in one of our cells."

"Don’t listen to him," Keahi protests, but the gears in my head have already settled on my next move.

I need more time to find a good bargain, time I’ll have in the safety of Arcane’s walls.

"I don’t care if they kick me out, but I won’t let them lock you up. We can figure this out."

”Keahi, shut up.

How many times do I have to tell you to mind your own business?” I grit, hiding my reaction to his surprised face behind a stoic mask.

“Now first off, I don’t care about what happens to you. And second off, there is no we. I was just messing around with you; I can’t believe you got so attached. Did you really think I would forgive you for abandoning me? Really think I would look past your unresolved issues and love you?” He’s frowning now, but I can see that resolve to not believe me and save me still burning behind those dark eyes. I have to dig deeper.

“Apart from how ridiculous that by itself is, have you noticed that anyone dumb enough to love you dies? Your parents, Kaz, and that’s it already, isn’t it? All the people that have ever cared about you are dead.

But you are so desperate for more.

That’s why you’ve been running after me like a lost puppy, even after all these years you’re pretending nothing has changed. That I haven’t changed, no matter how much everyone else tries to convince you otherwise. You’re pathetic, really. And about that deal of yours," I add to Flint, ignoring Keahi’s hurt expression and the twisting knife in my chest it causes. "You’re right, I have nowhere else to go," I agree, climbing out of my bed despite the pain that shoots up my leg as I start walking with him. The guard with the chains looks a little confused as I lead the way, but Flint falls into step at my side immediately.

Once there’s some distance between us and the others, Flint addresses me in a lowered voice.

"I know that was all a big lie to keep him from making a scene.

How noble of you to make things easier for him. It almost makes me question if there is some shred of loyalty in you worth trusting.”

"Tell him, and I’ll kill you," I hiss.

The man beside me chuckles, unfazed by my threat, and it takes all of my self-control not to hurt him.

He’s not wrong, though. I hate the things I said to Keahi, but I need him to lose his faith in me. Like Flint has pointed out, I’ve made him a target, and it won’t stop just because we got the upper hand on this fight. Without the protection of Arcane, he’s done for. Hell, he might be either way.

"What are you really going to do to me? I doubt you’ll just lock me up," I change the subject.

"Do to you? Silly girl, I won’t do anything to you.

You’re right, though, I have something more for you in mind than to let you rot in a cell.

At least as long as you are this useful."

"How exactly am I useful?" I’ve told them more or less anything of importance about the Shadow Handlers and their camp.

"I saw the way you fought those Shadow Handlers.

It was really impressive, by the way, congratulations on surviving it.

I want you to teach our highest-ranked guards and teachers. Thanks to you, we can learn the enemy’s ways and hopefully win this war once and for all."

"You want me to help you with your plan to kill hundreds of people? Kids, amongst others.

Yeah, I don’t think so."

"I don’t plan on killing the kids.

Everyone who’s not initiated will be given the choice to become one of us.

We’re the good guys, after all." Flint is wearing that self-satisfied smile again, and I want to throttle him for it.

"They get initiated at ten years old.

I won’t help you," I state firmly.

He’s just scared of the power we have. I know the process of being initiated is unethical, but it’s not the children’s choice. I won’t let them be killed for it.

It’s a good thing he doesn’t know that I am very much part of the people he wants to kill, seeing as I am initiated.

The only one who knew that was Kaz, though, so my secret is safe for now presuming he hadn’t told anyone.

"It’s not your choice, I’m afraid.

It’s either you helping us or me handing you over to your parents.

I’m sure they’ll be more than happy to get you back." My stomach twists viciously, but I play it off.

"You’re supposed to be the good guys.

There is no way Adira and the other high-ranked Arcanians will agree to your plan."

"Everyone is sick of this war, Malia.

Can’t you see I’m trying to be the good guy here? I’m trying to give you a choice and make you a fair deal.

More importantly, I’m trying to make sure our future generations are safe once and for all." No one can ever be truly safe. He must know that as well as me. If one threat is eliminated, the next will pop up. Flint is just a power-hungry, approval-seeking, small man.

"I either missed the part where you mentioned the fair deal or it’s still coming," I say coldly.

"You’re allowed to have personal belongings, you’re free to teach my people wherever on our property you’d like, and we’ll feed you well.

Above that, you’ll be safe here.

That’s more than you’ll get in any other place. So, what do you say? Do we have a deal?" My brain is running different scenarios and options through. I can’t trust him. I know that, of course. He’s sweet-talking all of this, but it might be best if I went along with it, nonetheless.

"You’d trust me to train your people? How?" I ask suspiciously.

There must be a catch.

"Guards will always accompany you, of course," Flint says in that same fake nice tone.

"Your guards couldn’t stop me, you know that." I’m not about to agree to a deal I don’t know all the details of.

"We’re trying to change that, aren’t we?" He laughs, and, damn, if it doesn’t make my blood boil.

"I won’t agree to anything if you don’t give me actual answers."

"You see, now you are in no position to make any demands because how I see it, I’m holding all the cards." This bitter bastard throws my words back at me.

"Do we have a deal or am I going to be forced to hand you over?"

"Hand me over, I dare you.

See what that gets you," I snap at him, done with this conversation.

"A whole lot of joy, that’s what." We’ve reached my cell, and I get locked in.

Just like that.

No further instructions and no goodbye. Not that I’m particularly eager to hear more crap coming out of the man’s mouth.

It’s not too bad, really.

The walls are a light grey color and there’s even a barred window with thick glass.

The bed looks crappy, but I’ve slept on worse.

I could have fought Flint on my way here, but I’m still hurt.

I’m weak and I have nowhere to go.

Maybe staying here is my best option. But I’d be a prisoner again. How did this all go so south? I groan in frustration and get on my bed. My whole body is begging for some sleep, so I guess making a decision will have to wait.