Page 73

Malia

"So, you want to hear about my childhood?" Keahi asks once we’ve settled down on his bed with every possible light in the house turned on.

I’m surprised the movie scared him so much.

I almost feel bad seeing how twitchy he is.

"I’d like to." I don’t want to push him, but I am curious about his life before the academy.

I know he’s been an orphan from an early age but that’s about it.

"There’s not much I can tell you about my time with my parents since I was really young when they died, but here’s what Kaz told me.

I’m an only child, as you might have guessed.

My parents and I lived in South Carolina. Apparently, my mother was a really successful architect and my father used to be a cook before I came along. He decided to be a stay-at-home dad while my mother went back to work after a few years.

"I was four years old when my parents were murdered by the Dark Fraction.

They attacked on a Saturday.

The three of us were playing a game, I remember as much, when our door busted open. My father was quick to hide me under a bed and tell me to stay very quiet. That’s the last thing he’s ever told me." Keahi seems lost in the memory as his voice trails off. My chest tightens for him and the little boy he’s telling me about.

"I can still hear my mother’s screams when she was tortured by the assassins.” He swallows heavily, blinking once.

Twice.

“They’re the same ones I’ve had to listen to in my nightmares for years. I don’t know what they wanted to know or why they even cared about my family. It’s been driving me crazy, not knowing, but try as I might, all I can remember are her screams. My father was restrained by three of them, but he still tried to fight them off until my mother finally dropped dead on the ground. The Shadow Handlers then proceeded to kill my dad before setting our house on fire.

"I was still hiding underneath the bed, frozen like a coward when Arcane’s guards came to my rescue.

Kaz pretty much took me under his wing and personally trained me from the age of five.

I never took a single lesson from anyone else, except you.” He chuckles. “I remember one time, I must’ve been around seven years old, Kaz was sick, so another coach was supposed to take his place for my training, but I refused to attend the lesson.”

I interrupt him at that.

“You skipped practice?” I exclaim.

That sounds unlike the determined, driven, and obsessive boy I knew at the academy.

“Of course, I did not.

But I snuck into Kaz’ room and made him give me pointers while I did my training next to his bed.

He didn’t so much as complain. Nor did he seem surprised. He even made sure I didn’t get into trouble for standing up the other coach." He half-sighs-half-laughs, shaking his head.

Sensing that he’s at a loss, I smile sadly and pull him into a hug.

"I should have warned you I suck at comforting, but I am so sorry, Keahi.” I rub circles on his back while he buries his face in the crook of my neck, breathing me in.

"You’re doing great.

Thanks, Princess." We stay like that for a bit before he pulls away and gets each of us a glass of water.

"Do you want to talk about Kaz?" I ask him.

He offered to listen to me rant so many times, he deserves the same attention.

"Maybe next time.

I feel like I’ve talked enough today even though I guess it’s nice to have someone else knowing about those things.

I’ve never told anyone about my family before." This is incredibly sad, but my heart still warms a bit, feeling special

"Look at us almost behaving like an uncomplicated couple."

"Sure, just with a little bit more trauma and really messed-up pasts," he adds with a smile.

"Yeah, what you said." I laugh.

"Are you ready to share another story or are we done for tonight? I won’t push you again.

It’s totally up to you," he tells me.

"While we’re at it, might as well repay the debt right now.

What are you most curious about?"

"Have you gotten your memories back? Also, how was it at Arcane? I’ve been told you didn’t know who your family was back then but how was that possible?" I can tell Keahi has given some thought to these questions.

That’s cute.

Probably should have known though, he must’ve had a lot of questions after I was captured.

"The night I arrived at Arcane, I remembered nothing as to how I got there.

Adira told me my parents died in a car crash and I was flown in from Italy.

That night, I dreamt-slash-remembered said accident. It added up, so I had no reason not to believe Adira. In those memories, I grew up with a loving family in a beautiful place. You should have seen the house, whoever messed with my memory was a real artist.

"I have gotten my memory back thanks to a procedure my parents put me through right after I was brought to camp.

They were furious about me not knowing my past and were not satisfied with the way I was returned to them.

Therefore, they had no problem with putting me through that. Stop grinding your teeth so loudly, it’s fine," I reproach. Keahi seems like he’s about to pop a vein, when really, the memory of my arrival at camp doesn’t seem all that bad anymore.

"It is not fine."

"Seriously, looking back, it wasn’t that painful.

It just seemed bad at the time because I was used to being pampered at the academy." I shrug, even sensing that he disapproves of my words.

"Being so used to pain that it seems less bad does not make this any better.

It makes it so much worse, in fact." He would probably have liked to say more about the topic, but I gently take one of his hands in both of mine and place a kiss on his knuckles to shut him up.

"If you’re going to waste so much energy on being angry instead of listening to me then I’ll simply stop talking.

It’s in the past.

It’s done. You’re right, it’s not fine, but it’s done." Keahi looks unhappy, though he nods once.

"Want to hear about my actual childhood?" I ask.

"I want to hear about anything you’re willing to tell." I smile at him before continuing my little stroll down memory lane.

"Turns out my parents were never loving.

The stories about Shadow Handlers being trained from a young age are true, you should know.

I’m not sure about the other children, I’ve never had friends, but my training started as soon as I could hold up my own head, more or less. My parents did seem like the leaders amongst the assholes there, though, so that might be an exception.

"I think I’ve suppressed most of my childhood memories, but I remember almost drowning once.

That was a lesson to trigger my powers, I was about five years old.

There was a lot of yelling, some physical abuse, and a lot of emotional detachment.

"To sum it up, Arcane playing build-a-bitch with me and my memories is probably the only reason I’m part human." I smile to lighten the mood, but Keahi doesn’t seem to be uplifted by it.

"I swear, if you hadn’t killed your parents, I would have gone ballistic on them and tried out every sick way of torture on them there is."

"Oh, I could have helped you with that.

Some might call me an expert on torture methods, you know," I joke, feeling a little manic.

"Malia, that’s not funny now and it never will be in the future.

Jokes about how you were harmed will never amuse me," Keahi warns me.

"You’re the one that wants me to cope.

This is me doing that.

Be honest, you’d rather have me deflect with humor than be a pill."

"Tell me you made them hurt.

Not that I doubt your skills in that department, just give me a few bloody details," he demands, ignoring my comment.

"Well, you’re about to be very disappointed.

I kind of only had one shot to kill them, so I couldn’t take risks.

They both died so quickly I doubt they even knew what was happening. But my mom saw my dead dad before she went, so that seemed quite painful to her." Keahi’s jaw goes slack.

"What- why- how-" He takes a breath to calm down before trying again.

"Why would you do that? I mean, I’m not judging you but didn’t you want some revenge? I just want to understand." Oh, I wanted my revenge alright.

"It was too risky." No matter how hard I try to mean the words, I hear the bitterness creeping into my voice.

Of all the things I wish I could change, it would be that.

On one hand, I am glad my parents are gone for good. They always were the biggest threat to my life, their presence looming over me like a dark storm cloud at all times, but they didn’t deserve the mercy they got.

"There must’ve been a way-" Keahi tries, but I cut him off right there.

"If there had been, I would have done it differently.

Since I had a solid hour to come up with a plan and a lot was at stake, I didn’t have much of a choice," I grit out.

Keahi seems unaffected by my cold tone.

"Why were you in such a hurry?"

"Because I didn’t expect Flint to let me leave that early.

Why are you complaining? They’re dead now, are they not?"

"It just sucks you didn’t get your revenge and I think it’s weird you rushed into it, that’s all.

You were safe at the academy for the time being."

"Thanks, detective, I know it sucks.

It just seems you’re forgetting one little detail," I tell him, raising my voice.

"What is that?"

"I might’ve been safe, but you weren’t.

I made you a target and then left you defenseless.

Besides, there was no way I could have won an actual fight against my parents, not to speak of capturing and torturing them, and if they had moved camp, I would have never gotten them on my terms."

"I wouldn’t call myself defenseless," Keahi mumbles.

"You do remember what happened the last time you faced two Shadow Handlers, right? If my parents came for you, you would have wished for those two puppies."

"Okay, I get it. Sorry."

"Maybe that’s enough talking for this day.

What do you say we go to sleep?" I propose, trying to evade an argument.

Keahi smiles, clearly glad for the easy way out.