Page 45

Malia

Kaz and I are darting through the woods around the camp, nearing it at an alarming speed, and with every step, my heart rate increases.

I didn’t think I’d ever come back here by choice.

Now, I have to, for Keahi. That fucking idiot.

Once we’re close enough to hear the first voices in the far, we slow down and sneak to the edge of the bushes, hiding behind the mossy wall of an old building.

All the while I’m trying to wrap my head around how stupid someone can possibly be.

"Do you know where they would keep him?" Kaz whispers.

"I might have a hunch.

Wait here," I tell him grimly.

He gives me an odd look but nods once. I leave him alone in his hiding spot, walking toward the room I have so often been in with a racing mind and clammy hands. Stars, I hate being back.

I just hope my parents aren’t aware of Keahi’s connection to me, because if they thought he had any useful information, they’d go a long way to get it.

By now, everyone must know that I fled the camp and my parents, and until they hold me accountable for it, they look bad.

Anything that hurts their image and status is unacceptable, so I can only imagine what they dream of doing to me once they get their hands on me.

With one deep breath, I open the door to my former torture chamber.

My heart skips a beat when I see Keahi alone in the room, and I storm toward him.

"I won’t tell you," he mutters deliriously as I near him.

A bright lamp is shining right in his face, so he must think I am my parents.

I wonder how long he’s been here. He looks kind of out of it but otherwise unharmed which makes me think they’ve stuck with mind-games only so far.

My eyes land on a familiar apparition at the side of the prickly chair, the one continuously dropping the unknown liquid, and anger takes hold of me like a vicious creature.

I grab it and smash it to the ground, momentarily forgetting to be quiet.

I will kill them for this.

He wouldn’t tell them – I don’t waste my time pondering his words but quickly turn the light away from him.

His eyes meet mine and widen. First, he seems relieved, but it soon turns into dread.

"You can’t be here! You need to go before they come back!" he whispers urgently.

I ignore him and start working on his restraints.

Once he is free, I grab his wrist and start maneuvering us back toward the woods, glad that the room is near the edge of camp.

We’re just about to reach Kaz’ hiding place when a searing pain shoots through my head.

I clutch it desperately and double over with a gasp.

"Malia! What’s wrong?" I barely hear Keahi’s words until the pain stops as quickly as it appeared.

"Just when I thought you’ve finally had enough of suffering because of him," my father tsks.

I turn around, using my powers to disable my parents from moving.

"Keahi, leave!" I say through gritted teeth, trying to shove him toward the trees without breaking eye contact with my father.

Of course, Keahi won’t budge.

Instead, I feel him getting ready to fight. This fool. I push him a little stronger and he stumbles a few steps away. This is my confrontation. What I’ve been training and waiting for for four years.

I’m not ready.

I can’t beat them.

I try to silence the frantic voice in my head by hissing at Keahi, "I said, leave!" My parents chuckle, and I focus solely on keeping them immobilized. It seems to work for a moment, but then my father’s shoulders start to shake as he laughs in my face.

"I’ve taught you well, but don’t think you can use my tricks on me.

Unlike you, I know how to shield any and every attack." He snaps his hands away from the sides of his thighs with visibly no effort and rolls his wrists once.

I know Keahi is still behind me, so I quickly shoot a beam of water toward him. It should be strong enough to push him at least a few feet away, but I can’t turn to check. Never turn your back to the enemy…

In front of me, my mother raises one hand.

I direct a new wave of water toward her, and the force of it throws her on her back.

My father is not laughing now. Stars forbid anyone harms his lovely wife, that psychotic bitch.

Before he can attack me, a wave of water crashes down on him as well.

I didn’t do that.

I turn, dumbfounded, only to see Kaz standing behind me, looking like a guardian angel with his arms held out widely and that stoic look on his face. Like the man I met the day I arrived at the academy.

"He is gone.

Run! I’ll hold them off," he tells me, finally recognizable as the brave trainer I used to look up to.

I wish I couldn’t see it now.

"You’ll die.

I can’t-" my voice is shaky.

I know there are only two ways this could end. And one option ends with two bodies instead of one.

"You can, Malia, and you have to.

You’re a fighter remember." Tears sting in my eyes.

Why is he doing this now? "Just know I am so sorry I abandoned you. And I’m sorry I didn’t believe Keahi when he said you could be trusted. You didn’t deserve it and it was not your fault. Now leave!" I stagger back a few steps.

"I’m sorry," I choke out before running away as he told me to.

Another person from my past dead because of me.

Unbearable guilt tries to knock me to the ground, but I keep running.

“It was not your fault,” Kaz said but why do I feel like this then? I push these feelings and thoughts away, trying to remain the fighter he always insisted I was.

He abandoned you.

He kept Keahi away. He deserves this as a way to make it up to you.

I break through Keahi’s front door to see him already standing in the living room.

His hair is messy from him running his hands through it and his complexion looks pale.

I don’t stop running until I’m met with his body. I throw my arms around his neck, and he pulls me impossibly closer. I take a moment to breathe him in, relief flooding my every cell.

Once I’ve caught my breath, I pull back and push him away.

"You idiot! What were you thinking!" I snap.

"I- you just left.

I had no idea where you were and Kaz told me you probably just went back to the camp.

I knew you wouldn’t do that, so I went looking for you. When I couldn’t find you, I thought they caught you again and I couldn’t,” he trails off, takes a deep breath, and resorts to raising his voice right back at me. “You should have told me where you were going! Never mind that. You shouldn’t have left at all!"

"I’m not your prisoner.

I can do whatever I want to!"

"Not with them looking for you! Not after telling me what they would do to you if they got you back!" Keahi’s powerful voice fills the whole room now, shaking slightly with his barely contained frustration.

"Why do you care what happens to me all of the sudden?" I yell back.

"This isn’t sudden, and you know it.

I care about you, Malia.

I always have! I’ve lost you too many times already and the thought of it being final one of these days makes me sick! I can’t be the reason you get hurt, Malia. Not again." He throws his hands in his hair again, pleading with me with desperate eyes while I am shaking my head. No. I hate him, he hates me.

"You’re an even bigger idiot than I thought," I state without yelling anymore, watching as Keahi collapses onto the couch as if his remaining energy has just left him.

He sighs and rests his face in his hands.

"I couldn’t abandon you, not again," he mutters and something in my chest cracks.

"Kaz is dead," I announce, sitting down next to him.

Keahi looks at me, and the anguish in his eyes makes me want to take the words back.

Or to pull him into a hug. I want to tell him he’ll be okay, yet I selfishly hold back.

"He stayed back to hold my parents off so I could run.

I’m sorry," I keep my voice even, but guilt is nagging at me, digging its claws deep.

Keahi murmurs something I don’t catch before cussing loudly. I don’t know what to do so I just watch him as he starts pacing the room, running his hands over his face and muttering curses repeatedly.

"Keahi." He ignores me, so I try again.

"Hey, stop it!" I step in front of him and place my hands on his shoulders.

He refuses to meet my gaze, keeping his eyes trained on the ground.

"Look at me," I urge, even though part of me doesn’t want to see what he must be feeling right now.

Regret for having tried to save me and anger because I’m the reason the only father figure he remembers is now dead.

But it is not anger I see when he finally does look up.

No, his eyes are watery and desperate.

Pained. We stare at each other for a moment before I pull him into another hug. A part of me is yelling, telling me to push him away and be angry, but I don’t act on it.

Keahi needs comfort, and as he said, some causes are worth the sacrifice.

Or risk, in this case.

Keahi holds me cautiously, probably expecting me to push him away again, and something twists inside of me. When he finally seems to trust that I’m not changing my mind about the embrace, he buries his face in my neck, and I feel his harsh breaths on my skin.

"It’s my fault," Keahi whispers all so quietly.

"It’s not your fault," I state firmly.

"Do you hear me, Keahi? You can’t blame yourself for this." I need him to understand this.

Why, I’m not sure myself. I want him to break as much as I did, so why am I here, hugging him when he’s finally paying me back in an exchange of pain?