Page 6 of Always Been You

That was the fucked-up part. The emptiness of waking up alone after experiencing the beauty you shared with someone just a few hours earlier had a bitter sting to it.

Never once when we were together would he spend a whole night with me at my home.

It was always some excuse about him needing his own space.

My mind said he was cheating, but I had no proof of it.

He would let me stay over at his place any time I wanted, so that calmed down a lot of accusations, but I knew something wasn’t quite adding up.

Call it women’s intuition, but I could never catch him red-handed, so I suppressed those feelings and told myself I would keep my eyes open.

Even that had run its course. Who wanted to be a damn FBI agent just to make sure a nigga was doing right.

Love. Real love had to be easier. At least it would be for me, or I wasn’t going to have it. Dick was dick, but real love and commitment were two different things from what Jay and I would ever have, and that was clear.

I pushed myself out of my bed and got ready for work. I couldn’t be mad at anyone but myself because I knew at this point, Jay was who he was. He didn’t want anything different, and if I wanted something different, I was going to have to find a way to leave his ass alone—golden dick or not.

I hopped in my Toyota Camry and rode to Hurley Medical Center. I parked and passed the green shrubs on my way in. I just needed to get through the day. I was going to head straight to the coffee pot when I clocked in.

My phone rang as I entered the foyer, and I cringed. That nagging voice was telling me not to answer, but when I saw my sister’s name, I couldn’t ignore it.

“Hey Trina,” I answered, stepping to the side of the foot traffic.

“You at work?” Her voice was low.

“Yes. Everything okay?”

“Yeah, just wanted to talk.”

“I have a few seconds. What’s up?” I swiveled my head and walked over to the chairs in the lobby to have a seat when my path cleared.

“This boy.” She sighed.

My mouth spread into a smile. Now this I could handle. I was ready for something much worse than this, and that would’ve been too much.

“Oh Lord, what boy?” I teased her.

“Don’t laugh. It’s Tarion. The basketball player.” She whispered.

“Ooh, a basketball player.”

“Stop, you know you're the only person I can talk to about this. He showed up at the house the other day.”

“What?” That made me stand up. “You know you are not allowed to have any boys in the house, Trina.”

“I didn’t let him in. I mean, how could I? I was thinking of you and that boy who used to come around. How did you do that? How did it go after?”

“Marcos? Girl, you never can tell what people will say. Is the water off?”

“Yeah. It was just turned off yesterday.”

“Where is Momma? You should have come to my house.” I checked my watch. I hated to cut our conversation short, but I had six minutes before I was due to clock in, and I still had an elevator ride.

“I don’t know.” She spoke quietly.

“How about this, I will call you on my lunch break. Go to my house. Don’t worry about anything. Everything will be fine.”

“It’s straight. Don’t worry about it.” She disconnected before I could say anything else.

I felt so damn guilty for what she was going through.

I knew the embarrassment all too well. Not everyone was understanding or a real friend like I had.

Trina had her own friends now that she was 16, and when I urged her to come over, she would say she was staying with a friend.

I could only pray that was the truth. Whenever I tried to step in too much, my mother would throw a fit, knowing that she was going to lose her benefits.

When the elevator dinged. I walked on and placed my back to the wall.

Damn, it had been a while since I thought about Marcos.

After that day, I thought I would never see him again.

But that was when the real friendship happened.

He looked out for me in ways my mother didn’t.

I would never forget the waves he made for me and how heartbroken I was when he moved out of state.

I wondered how things had shaken out for him.

If I told him I had landed back in Flint, I could see his face now.

I swore to him I would never step foot back in this place after graduation.

We say so much when we are kids, and real friends like Marcos don’t come a dime a dozen.

I prayed the boy Trina was talking about was even half the friend Marcos was.

Hours later, I was sitting at my desk, struggling.

My ass was tired as hell trying to keep my eyes open.

I needed to stop letting Jay break my sleep.

I didn’t know how I was going to get through the day.

It was only ten, and I still had seven hours left.

How was I supposed to review these files and facilitate onboarding for the new hires today, feeling like this?

I reached for my cup of coffee and took a large gulp.

I gazed out the window and up toward the sky, silently praying for an energy boost.

“Looks like somebody had a long night last night.” My best friend Chante said with a wide grin, coming around from the opposite cubicle.

I shot one back at her. “Bitch I knew you weren’t done with his ass!

” she said a little too loudly and made me look around to make sure no one was close to us.

She was dressed beautifully today, as always.

Her milk chocolate skin was radiant, and the way she did her makeup was always flawless.

She was a thick woman and what most would consider a BBW.

Her physique was made up of curves and ass, though.

Every man she walked by couldn’t help but appreciate her.

Even I had to do a double-take when she was swinging her ass around in the right fabric.

Chante and I met seven years ago in college, and we became instant friends.

I was at Western Michigan University, and they paired us as roommates.

We have been inseparable ever since. I never had friends in high school, so it opened a whole new world for me.

We both took the same major in human resource management, and we vowed to stay close to each other.

She was from Benton Harbor, and I was from Flint.

We decided to apply for the same jobs and see which one would take us both.

We landed an entry-level job here at the hospital together, and it allowed us to look out for each other and helped the day pass when we could clown around together.

After four years, we were climbing the ladder and expanding our skillset.

This wasn’t the end-all, and I knew that at some point, we would have to separate to truly meet our goals.

For now, I was so happy to have a real friend.

We kept each other on point with our honesty, and there was no jealousy between us, just real sisterhood.

“Will you be quiet?” I snapped.

“Girl, please, ain’t nobody worried about that lukewarm ass tea. Jay is old news, and you shouldn’t be fucking around with him,” she shot back, sitting down in the chair across from me.

“I am not fucking with him. We broke up, remember? Just because I decide to have sex with someone doesn’t mean anything. I’m a grown woman and I’m single,” I whispered.

“Girl, please, he's single, but your ass definitely ain’t. When was the last time you went out with any nigga that was interested in you? Nope, yo’ ass at home waiting by the phone waiting for Jay ass to show up, fuck you and bounce.

” She looked me straight in my face while spewing the truth.

“What about Kion from Dietary? I went out with him two weeks ago.” I pointed out.

“Quick pump Kion? I hope you didn’t even add him to your pussy count.” She smiled so wide I damn near choked on my coffee.

“Look, I’m trying,” I admitted once I was done choking.

“Yeah, and that nigga has been leaving lunches on your car ever since he sniffed it. No ma’am! That Salisbury steak did hit the other day, though.”

“Can you please get the hell on. I have work to do. I can’t believe yo ass ate that!”

“I saw him set it down on your trunk! It’s not like it was out there long. And don’t get mad at me. You know what your problem is?” She slapped her hands together, intertwined her fingers, and sat up like she had something monumental to say.

“I’m sure you are going to tell me, Chante,” I said with a heavy eye roll.

“You need some new dick. And I mean that eye rolling, toe curling, slob falling out ya mouth like you retarded good dick.”

“Girl! If you don’t get out of here,” I laughed before I continued. “Plus, Jay dick is good, why do you think I can’t say no?”

“Dyami, you don’t even know if the dick is that good. His shit is probably just okay. You don’t even have enough dick experience to be making these types of decisions.”

“You act like I’m some virgin or something. I was with someone else before Jay.”

“Girl, that college shit don’t count. Those boys ain’t know what they were doing at all. Then do we really need to go back over quick pump Kion? You need a man, baby.”

Before I could reply to her, our manager Phyllis walked up, and I shot Chante a look to end the conversation.

Mrs. Phyllis was a cool older lady, but she didn’t play either.

She was all about team building, and she wasn’t about to let anyone mess up her coin.

For a woman in her late fifties, she was the epitome of health, and she carried her age with regal poise.

“This doesn’t sound quite like work, ladies.” She interjected.

“Sorry, Mrs. Phyllis, you know Dyami always distracts me,” Chante said, slinking away. Mrs. Phyllis' eyes followed her until she was out of sight, then her eyes rested on me again.

“Let’s get back to work, Dyami, and for the record, you may want to listen to your friend. She is crazy, but she isn’t wrong. I don’t want to hear that talk again at work.” She said, throwing me a wink and strolling away.