Page 26 of Always Been You

“Fuck you, Dyami! You ain’t gone lecture me when I lived more life than yo’ little dumb ass.

What? You think you're doing something because you got yourself a new man? What is going to happen when he gets tired of your raggedy ass, just like Jay did, and goes running home to his wife? Oh, you didn’t know that your man Jay was married with a family? Now, who is the dumb one?”

“You are lying.” I was so caught off guard.

“Nah, baby, I ain’t. Go right down Clairmont Street and you’ll see they all live in a white house.

He be outside playing with that bitch and all his kids.

Then once they all go to sleep, he moseys on down to yo’ house and use yo’ dumb ass for the only thing you good for.

So, while you're trying to look down on me, check your own shit, little girl.” She said with a wicked smile.

I couldn’t talk. It wasn’t hard to believe, but why would she know all this and not tell me?

She was my mother. She was supposed to look out for me.

Instead, she let me go blindly into a situation that she knew I had no clue about.

She just didn’t give a fuck about me, and every time I turned around, she slapped me in the face with it.

I felt my pulse in my head beating rapidly.

“You are a real deal piece of shit,” was all I could form after a few minutes of her smiling at me while she hit me with a dagger.

“Oh, girl, please, you will get over it. Now, if you really want to help me, why don’t you go in that new bag of yours and give me some money?”

I looked at her like she had lost her damn mind. She was going to treat me like that and expect me to give her money. I wasn’t giving her shit. I turned to walk to my car, and she snatched my purse from my shoulder, and I tugged it back, causing her frail body to tumble on the grass.

“Really, after all that you just said to me, you're really going to try to steal my fucking money after I said no. You got me fucked up! Momma or not!” I spat, standing over her. “Since you need it so fucking bad, do whatever you gotta do to get it, and you don’t have to worry about me ever a fucking again. I’m done, Momma, I am done!

I’ll take care of Trina, and you leave us both the fuck alone!

” I said, walking to my car again, but I had to turn around because I had more to say.

“Out of all these years, you never had one nice word to say to me. I come around and I pay for whatever. I do everything I can. I paid for rehab three times, Momma. THREE DAMN TIMES!!! You still never said thank you. You would think that you would try a little harder with your life for the sake of your children. But I tell you one thing, Trina won’t end up like you, and I won’t either.

I’m going to find her and take her out of here and make sure she has a good life and makes something of herself.

Don’t call me for shit! Since it’s your only joy to make me feel like shit, I hope you have enough memories to keep you smiling, because this is the last time you will get the satisfaction. Fuck you!”

Finally feeling like I'd spoken my peace, I got in my car and peeled out. The fucking betrayal was unreal. I was so fucking hurt I couldn’t even put it into words. I wanted to call Marcos, but I couldn’t even get down the street before the tears started to blur my vision.

I pulled into the closest store and cried my eyes out as the weight of what my mother was and wasn’t hit me.

I didn’t know how to cut the love off I felt for her, even though she was so undeserving of it.

Then there was Jay. I knew something was off.

I expected there might be another woman, but a whole fucking family?

That shit was a gut punch like no other.

No wonder he didn’t want to have kids or get married.

How could he come and lie with me, damn near every night, but still go home to a whole family?

A part of me wanted to go to his house and wreck shit, but all I could do was feel bad for his wife and kids because just like he was fucking me over, he was doing the same thing to her.

I needed a friend. As I was about to call Chante, a FaceTime call from Marcos came through. I ignored it and called him.

“I’m driving.” I said when he picked up.

“I see you. I’m coming to you.”

“Is everything okay?” I asked nervously. I forgot we shared locations.

“Not when you sound like that. I’m coming to look in your face. Where you headed?”

“I don’t know. I just want to get out of here.” I said honestly.

“Say less. Meet me at the airport.”

I sat up straight. “What you mean? Don’t you have MJ this weekend?”

“Yeah, but Crystal pulled some bullshit saying he had to go out of town at the last minute. I’m gone let the court handle it. It’s just time to get everything documented.”

“Why would you let her do that?” I snapped and placed my hand over my face. He didn’t deserve my anger.

“I don’t see you moving.” He said firmly.

“Okay, I’ll be there.” I put my car into drive.

“Don’t hang up. You don’t have to talk. Just put the phone down and come to me.”

I did what he asked. As I moved through the streets, all I could think about was being anywhere but here. Maybe Marcos and I could run away together and never look back. Then I thought about Trina.

By the time I stepped in front of Bishop airport, day had turned into night. My man was standing by the door, looking good enough to eat. I was going to have to talk to him about wearing those gray sweatpants, though. He would not be walking around in his hoe uniform on my watch.

When I got close, he wrapped me up in the biggest hug, and the floodgates almost opened.

He gripped the sides of my face with both hands and pulled me to his lips for a kiss.

He didn’t ask me what was wrong or what bothered me.

He just held on to me for as long as I needed.

He thumbed the few tears away that escaped my lids and pulled me by the hand into the airport.

I came with nothing but my wallet. We went through security, and I didn’t say two words to him until I was in front of our gate.

“Why Sarasota?” I asked.

“I want to take you to Siesta Beach. It is one of the prettiest places I have ever seen. I come a few times a year to clear my head.” He looked forward as we stood by the gate. He got us first-class tickets so we wouldn’t have to wait.

“Is that where you were when you left?” I questioned.

“Nah. We were further inland. I found it taking a long drive.”

It excited me to think I could focus on anything other than the drama unfolding here.

“We board in about ten minutes. All the problems and bullshit, we leave that shit here. We can pick it up and deal with it when we get back. I trust that anything that needs my immediate attention, you would tell me.”

“Nothing like that. Just mainly family shit.” I whispered. He nodded.

“You know I got you for whatever, and you can tell me anything.” He looked into my eyes.

“I will. I like the idea of leaving all this here. I need to get away. I guess I didn’t know how bad.”

“All you gotta do is say the word. I can make it happen.”

“Hmm, so you're my genie. I wonder what else I can ask for and get?” I teased.

He wrapped me up, putting my back to his chest. I felt his dick on the top of my ass, as his voice leaked in my ear.

I was about to join the Mile High Club. No way I was going to make it through a flight without getting some of that.

“When I say whatever, that’s what I mean. You don’t know how long I've been waiting to spoil you, baby.”

“See, you keep saying stuff like that, and you're gonna make me ask for what I really want.” I smiled and we swayed a little.

“What’s that?” His voice dropped low and flirty. He knew what type of time I was on.

I reached between us and brushed his dick right as they called for first class boarding.

“Aight, you get it up, you get it down.” He warned.

“It look like I’m scared?” I asked, separating from him.

We stepped forward, and as soon as we got on the jet bridge, I let all the bullshit pass from my mind.

I would tell him every problem that was bothering me.

Even the shit with Jay, because I didn’t have the worry that he wouldn’t understand.

For now, all I wanted to think about was where we were going to sneak off to and how I wanted to end my night with sand in my ass and my man rearranging my guts.