Page 50 of Always Been You

Crystal

I stared at the ceiling in silence. It was three a.m. and I hadn’t been to sleep for shit tonight.

As a matter of fact, I hadn’t had a good night's sleep in what seemed like years. Kole’s body lay at my side, slumbering peacefully.

He didn’t have a care in the world. He had just beaten my ass earlier because I had to make him expend his energy trying to find me.

I moved to a different hotel, but it felt like I was still in the same place.

He popped up once again, but at least this time, he took me with him to his house.

He was full of hell and rage when we got here.

He was pissed that he couldn’t find Terror.

He swore I knew something I wasn’t telling him about Terror and MJ’s whereabouts.

I wasn’t lying. Terror never told me shit about any of the places he lived while we were together.

Honestly, he never really told me anything at all.

I was even starting to think that the place he would have me drop MJ off to wasn’t only a prop location.

He was always so secretive with me. I’m not sure if it stemmed from his desire to be safe or his mistrust of me.

As of late, I was thinking it was the latter.

I knew he didn’t love me at all, but I thought I would’ve had more of a hold on him than this.

He was acting as if I were nothing to him.

He was acting like I was nothing to MJ. That was the part that bothered me most. I was his mother.

He needed me. What could I really do? I couldn’t go to the police.

I couldn’t go to court. Even though I legally changed MJ’s name, Terror’s name was still on all his documents.

He had father’s rights, and I couldn’t even think about what the ramifications of taking him to court would bring.

Terror had money and power. I didn’t stand a chance.

All I could do was ride the wave at this point.

Kole at least made sure I was housed and had food to eat.

He didn’t give me money, but I also didn’t want for anything while I was here.

Terror was going to let me starve out here.

Kole was just crazy as hell. I never knew what type of mood he would be in.

Anything at any moment could set him off.

I wasn’t going to let him break me, though.

I was strong, and I could handle the blows.

I was waiting for my opportunity to strike.

He was so cocky that he thought he was untouchable.

But I was observing and taking notes on anything and everything that could work in my favor.

He kept his money in a safe, along with the codes to access it.

I paid attention to it all. If there was one thing I learned throughout this whole situation, it was that I would have to look out for myself.

I couldn’t trust who would come out on top when Kole and Terror met up again.

All I could control was having a plan either way.

If Terror came out alive, I would work with him, but I wouldn’t allow him ever to take my son this way again.

I would go through the courts to have him removed from the birth certificate.

If he wanted to see MJ and maintain their relationship, he would have to maintain the lifestyle I deserved.

I wasn’t a basic chick, so I wouldn’t live like one, especially when I had a man who wanted to play baby daddy.

No way he would have his new bitch living lavish when I was living crazy.

If Kole got the best of Terror, things would be a little tricky.

Somehow, someway, that nigga would have to go.

The only thing I could surmise was killing him in his sleep.

That was the only way I could get the upper hand.

I would crack his safe and be on my way.

I already had a passport for myself and MJ because we travelled all the time.

These men wouldn’t put me in a box. I controlled my life and the life of my son.

Night turned into day, and my lids had not closed once, but I was up dutifully cooking Kole’s breakfast at seven a.m. It had to be just perfect.

His eggs were soft scrambled with a small amount of cheese, grits with extra pepper and light salt, sausage patties burnt only on one side, and bread toasted lightly with two pats of butter.

I was strong enough to deal with what he dished out without breaking, but I wasn’t trying to test my limits.

I wanted to get by, so I mainly did what he asked me to.

He was always in and out most of the day anyway.

I certainly didn’t give a fuck about that.

I welcomed the peace of him being gone. Every time he darkened the doorstep, my pressure would rise.

I knew I had to do something to move this dick swinging contest along.

I couldn’t jeopardize MJ in the process.

That was my biggest hurdle. How could I get MJ alone and away from these two?

“Damn you ain’t done yet!?” Kole disturbed my countenance as I plated his breakfast.

“I’m finishing up now.”

“I mean, shit, you know what time I get up. Have my shit ready!” he spat, walking into the living room and propping his feet on the couch.

He waited to be served like he was some fucking king or something.

I finished putting his food on the plate and walked it into the living room to him.

I put it down before him and ran back in the kitchen to fetch him a bottle of water.

As soon as I brought the water back, he began to eat.

I didn’t make anything for myself. I had no appetite due to this nigga repulsing me.

It’s a shame that I thought this man was attractive at some point.

“What the fuck are you doing about getting my son back? I’m losing patience with this shit.” He spat.

“I am doing everything I can. It’s not like I can walk up to him and get him. I can’t find him, and you can’t either.”

“You got me fucked up. Don’t tell me what the fuck I can and can’t do.

That nigga will be found, and I will put a bullet in his shit.

You will catch one too if you keep fucking with me.

” He lifted his head from his plate to connect with my eyes.

He threatened me without a smile. I knew he was serious.

He just didn’t know I was serious about the same thoughts, even if mine were never spoken.

“I call and I text with no answers. I can’t go to court because there is no custody order in place. I don’t know what you want me to do.”

“Fuck the bullshit. Get my son here today or that’s yo’ ass, Crystal!”

“I’m not a magician! What do you think I don’t miss my son? I think about him every second! MJ is my world!” As quickly as the words slipped from my lips, I knew I had messed up.

“What the fuck I tell you about calling him by that name, huh? You want to disrespect me in my fucking house by calling my son another man’s name?

? Bitch I’m trying to be nice and keep yo’ ass around for my son, but you testing me.

” He came to me and slapped me across my face so hard I dropped to the floor and saw stars.

I felt the saltiness of my blood pool in my cheeks.

His hands clamped onto my shirt, and he picked me up like a ragdoll and brought me to his face.

“You ain’t gone fucking learn until I really hurt yo’ dumb ass.”

My face stoned over, and I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry or even giving him a response.

“Oh, you a little tough today, huh bitch?” He let my shirt go and placed me on my feet to slap me to the ground again.

This time, he rained blows on me for God knows how long.

I zoned out, thinking of how sweet the revenge would taste when I stood over him as he took his final breaths.

I wouldn’t have one ounce of regret. He was a monster.

When he got good and tired, he issued one last threat before he hit the door.

“You better make yourself useful if you want to stay alive.” He stalked away, and the door slammed so hard a picture dropped off the wall.

Count your days bitch!

***

After a few hours, I managed to pull myself together.

This needed to be over sooner rather than later.

I was doing everything I could to get to Terror.

I called him and Ma Lyn a million times, but there was no answer.

I felt like, after my last meeting with Terror, we were working through our issue.

He had even agreed to let me see MJ. Then nothing.

Silence. I don’t know what made him change course, but I needed to get my son back in my possession.

As much as I hated to admit it, he was my livelihood.

I scrolled through the few social media accounts he had, hoping to find some clues.

He rarely posted on IG, but I was hoping that something would come up.

He didn’t post anything recently, but when I went through his tags, that bitch popped up.

She was tagging him in all types of shit.

They had kissing pics. And recently, a pic of them out on the balcony under a city skyline.

They were dressed like they were going somewhere fancy.

I fumed in my seat. If my body temperature had shown any indication of my internal feelings, my makeup would have melted off. I was ninety-eight fucking hot.

For one, where the fuck was MJ? He is keeping me away from me for what?

To wine and dine this bitch that needed a girdle on with that dress she was wearing.

It damn sure ain’t look like he was worried about safety.

He was just doing this shit to torture me because he was a bitter ass nigga.

He acted like he didn’t have any money or something.

The shit he spent on MJ, he didn’t miss.

He was already opening a new restaurant after the fire.

He had me all the way fucked up. I had a mind to show Kole all these pictures when he came back.

On second thought, I had to be smart. This was about me getting what I wanted.

For that to happen, I needed my son to be with me and to be safe.

I couldn’t let Kole get hold of him either.

It hit me. I had to play nice with this bitch away from Terror.

I dug into her profile. Although it wasn’t listed where she worked, I looked through her posts and found her friend.

Her friend Chante listed her job, and after a few hours of scrubbing through the comments, I saw something referencing that they worked together.

Shit, I felt like I was an FBI agent who just cracked a case.

I finished my makeup and headed out the door, praying that she was working today.

An hour later, I stepped into the hospital's lobby. I wanted to see her, but I didn’t know exactly where she worked or in which department.

She was probably one of those CNA-type chicks who got a little education and thought that made her something.

I spotted the man working the front desk, and I knew I could get everything I needed from him.

He was overweight and ugly. He looked as if he hadn’t had a haircut in weeks.

He was precisely the type I wouldn’t be caught dead with.

It didn’t even take five minutes, and his fat, round ass was eating out of my hand.

He gave me Dyami’s department and exactly how to bypass everything to get up there after I slid him my text to talk number.

He was one of those I’m about to call you right now niggas.

It was sad to see his eyes light up when he heard my phone ring.

He was way too easily persuaded after that.

On the ride up the elevator, I made a mental note to use a different exit because I already had a text from him.

As I went to her floor, I prepared to dramatize the script that I had rehearsed in my head time and time again on the way over.

I stepped into the front of the HR office, and tears began to sting my face as I asked for Dyami from the front receptionist. When Dyami came from the back, you should have seen her face.

She was absolutely shocked to see me. I owed that bitch for how she got down on me in the restaurant that day.

I wasn’t going to go there. I was too pretty to fight, and looking in her face, I could tell why she didn’t mind doing so.

This nigga was downgrading. Her natural hair just lay there lifeless, no real makeup or glamour to her face, and she wasn’t fat, but she damn sure wasn’t tight as I was.

“Please, can we go somewhere and talk?” I begged, grabbing her wrist. She snatched away quickly.

“Look, I’m at work. I have nothing to do with you and Marcos. Please don’t come here again,” she whispered and tried to leave, so that’s when I raised my voice.

“IT’S ABOUT MY SON!” I boomed, and that got her attention. She turned and focused on me again.

“I would never mistreat MJ. Now I can’t tell Marcos what to do, so I really don’t understand why you're here,” she said with an attitude.

I didn’t expect her to have so much fire with her.

From what I knew about Terror, he never liked feisty women.

Then again, what did I know about Terror?

Nothing from the way he had been treating me.

“I know you wouldn’t, that’s why I’m here.

I know we got off on the wrong foot, and for that I’m sorry.

I know you are with him, and I am fine with that.

I want y’all to be happy. But how can I be happy, and I can’t even see my son?

I know what’s going on, but he can’t do this.

I know my son loves me and wants to see me.

I’ll do whatever it takes. If Terror wants to do supervised visits, I will. But please, I want to see my son!”

I saw her disposition cracking at my words. She tried to stand tough, but she couldn’t. “I’ll see what I can do. I can’t make any promises, so do not come here again.”

She went back to work without another word. Even though it didn’t go exactly how I had planned it, I felt I planted a seed. My wheels would continue to turn until I got exactly what I wanted.