Page 1 of Always Been You

Prologue

Terror

“ M arcos Anthony Jones Jr! Where the hell are you? And don't you dare say school because the principal just left a voicemail saying you got kicked out today!" I cringed against my cell phone receiver when I heard my mother’s voice.

Even though she wasn't on speakerphone, her voice still carried, which immediately caused my friends to snicker.

I shot a look at them, but I dared not say a word.

I was already in deep enough trouble. That's precisely why I didn't go home and opted to stay out on the block, enjoying my last few moments of freedom.

“I know you hear me talking to you! Answer me boy! You bet not be running the streets with those same boys that keep you in trouble.”

“Chub ain't no trouble ma!” I looked at my friend group that was just beyond the sidewalk, hugging the side of the building.

Cory, also known as Lanky, and Derron covered their mouths in laughter while Chub held neutral.

The orange store, as we called it, had quickly become the hangout spot for teens after school.

Lately, even before school was out, you could find the getting money niggas up here, no matter the age.

"That boy's name ain't no damn Chub! It's Gavin, and you know I'm not talking about him! Bring your ass home right now!” The phone clicked, signaling she had ended the call.

“That boy mama on his ass!” Cory yelled, and only Derron joined in on the laugh.

They were both 17 and two years older than Chubs and me.

They were the niggas to see if you wanted to get on, and no lie, I wanted to get down with them.

Moms and I led a good life, but it was simple.

Nothing flashy about it. It was almost as if we were always hiding and trying to stay under the radar.

I yearned for the fast life even from a jit.

Something about how we lived just let me know we were living under our means.

So even though I should have told them to kiss my ass, my lips glued together in embarrassment.

“So what you gone do?” Chub asked me

“Y'all need to come with us and get this money! I been telling y’all lil’ niggas I can put you on a few runs. Something simple.” Cory said. Chub looked at me, and I debated. If it was my last few hours of freedom for a while, I knew something that I wanted more than money.

“This nigga ain’t trying to get on nothing. He scared.” Derron chimed in.

“Nah, I'm going to see Dyami,” I replied honestly. Everything I'd done today, once I left school, was buying time until it was time for her to get out. I knew she heard about the fight that got me kicked out.

“Who that lil pretty chick on Myrtle? She ain't giving up no pussy. You may as well leave her stuck-up ass alone.” Cory spat.

“Chill the fuck out,” his remark made me find my voice instantly

“This lil nigga jumped up like he gone do something. “Derron replied, and Chub jumped to my side.

“Nah, calm down. Let him have that shit.” Cory quickly calmed the situation with a hand wave. “Come on, D, let's make this money. Y'all niggas know how to find me if y'all ever get serious.” They both walked away

“Man, I ain't—”

Chub's words were cut short by my phone ringing again. It was my mother.

“Yes, ma’am,” I answered.

She sighed before she spoke.

“Marcos, I'm trying to hold it together. You have to stop running the streets with these boys and finish school. That life you're chasing is going to lead to a dead end.”

I hated hearing my mom in tears, but I didn't know what to say because I didn't want to lie. We both paused, holding the phone.

“I just wish your father were here.” She admitted to me, as she often did, more and more lately.

“Well, he ain't ma.”

Another deep sigh.

“Where are you, Marcos?”

“I'm going to see Dyami,” I told her, truthfully.

“Now that's the first honest thing you've said today. Straight home after that. You know you're punished.”

“I know,” I said quietly.

“You have a lot of promise and a future ahead of you, but it's up to you to make the right decision and take advantage of that. I love you.”

“I love you too.” We hung up.

“Ma cool?” Chubs asked.

“Yeah, she cool.”

“Aye, bruh, look. I fuck with you but not them.”

“I know.” I acknowledged as we fell in step on the way to Dyami’s. “It's just about money anyway. I’m just trying to see how they do it, and I’m gone.” I told him.

“I get you, but even that, be careful. When a nigga sneak dissing like that, my Pops told me, don’t trust it.”

“I feel you, but it ain’t shit. I’ll keep my eyes open.”

“Do that because without me there to watch your back, ain’t no telling what these niggas will try to pull. I gotta go this way. If they see me coming from a different way than my bus drops me off, that’s my ass.” Chub slapped hands with me.

I nodded, and the street split. He turned down his while I kept stepping.

The whole way there, I thought about how Dyami wasn’t like any of the other girls in high school.

For one, she was the prettiest. Secondly, she wasn’t going like the rest of the girls.

Cory and Derron knew that firsthand. She wasn’t the type to do anything because a nigga flashed some money in her face.

I heard about her curving them both. She was mean as hell most times, but I didn’t care because once I had her, I knew she would be mine alone, unlike the girls who went for who was the hottest and had the most to give them.

I made it up a few more streets and saw a group of boys in a circle in front of Dyami's house.

They were no more than ten years old. Then I heard a little girl scream.

I knew that scream anywhere. I broke off into a run.

I snatched one of the boys up effortlessly.

They were fucking with Dyami's little sister, Trina.

“Fuck wrong with y’all lil niggas?” I questioned while I had one in my grip and mugged the other three.

“Stop!” One of the boys whined. They ass were trying to be mannish, but they quickly turned back into a toddler when confronted by someone older.

“Beat his ass!” Trina’s lil bad ass yelled.

“Girl, be quiet! Y’all get out of here!” The little boys ran, and as soon as the boy in my grasp touched the ground, he did the same.

“Why are you outside by yourself?” I asked Trina. She was no more than six years old, if I remembered correctly.

“We had a half-day.”

I looked around and there was no sight of her mother.

Dyami went to extreme lengths to avoid having me come to her house or stay around too long.

I thought she was pushing me away because she wasn’t feeling me, but that moment really hit me that her situation was far from ideal.

It was common for fathers to be missing.

Hell, my pops was locked up for good, so I didn’t think much of that.

I was a young nigga, but my eyes were open to much more than the regular person my age. Right on that sidewalk, I started putting everything together. The more I thought about it, I saw her mom around the block more than once, not looking like herself.

Damn.

“Let’s get you inside. Have you ate since you've been home?” I asked her.

“No, and I’m hungry, but we don’t got no food.” She said honestly

“I know y’all got something. Come on.” I waved her in.

“I’m telling you we don’t.” She sassed but followed me anyway.

I stepped inside the house, and a foul odor hit me, making me take a step back. The shit was so horrible I gagged. I threw my shirt over my nose and felt for a light switch and flicked it. When nothing happened, my heart sank.

“Eww!” Trina said.

“What are you doing? Trina, don’t let people in the house!

” I heard Dyami’s voice over my shoulder.

When I turned to look at her, she was flushed with embarrassment.

“Get out!” She didn’t wait. She stepped in front of me and pressed both her hands on my chest, pushing me out of the door.

She didn’t stop pushing until I damn near fell off the front porch steps.

I vowed at that moment to start lifting because no way she had handled me like that.

“STOP! He was helping me with the boys.” Trina started to cry.

“What boys?” Dyami snapped.

“The boys on the sidewalk. They were bothering me since I got off the bus.” Dyami’s eyes locked on her sister. Trina hung her head, as if she were feeling guilty. “I’m sorry, Dyami. I didn’t tell you I had a half day.”

“And you know you are supposed to tell me!” Dyami snapped.

Everyone fell silent. I could see now she had the weight of the world on her shoulders.

She was pretty as could be, but that didn’t absolve her from trying to navigate through a bullshit life and solving problems that she didn’t cause.

Then what my mom always said hit me. No matter how much of a kid you think you are, once you get to a certain age, consequences come like you are an adult.

“Aye, I didn’t know y’all were dealing with this. Why didn’t you tell me?” I stepped forward.

“Tell you for what? Go in the house, Trina!” She spoke with me, then with Trina. Trina didn’t budge, and neither did I.

“Because I could’ve helped.”

“You not grown, Marcos. What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. Something!” I stepped forward. I had no clue, but seeing her living conditions twisted my heart in my chest.

“It’s not that bad. We’re fine. Just leave. Go in the house, Trina!” She screamed again.

“I’m not leaving until you talk to me,” I said, because I knew that was the truth. Also knew that was the quickest way for her to talk because it seemed like she always wanted me to leave her alone. I knew why now.

“What the hell, Trina? Go in the house!” Dyami yelled.

“It stank in there!” Trina yelled back, full of attitude. Then Dyami shocked us both by bursting into tears. We both went to her to hug her before she collapsed. I held her tight while she went through it.

“It shouldn’t be this hard. I’m just a kid myself.” She whispered against my chest.

“Aye, Trina. Go to the sidewalk and play.” I said, and this time Trina obeyed. I turned back to Dyami, and she was wiping her tears.

“This shit ain’t fair! Momma on that shit, and she leaves us here for days!

No lights, no water. I have to make Trina’s meals and pick her up from the bus.

Everything, and mama don’t do shit! Just get high and leave.

She gets her check on the first, don’t pay the bills, and is gone for days!

” She sank onto the first porch step. I sat next to her, speechless.

Dyami’s pretty ass had so much on her head daily, I had no clue what she was going through.

She had to be a mom to her sister, literally.

I always wondered why she was the one picking up Trina from the bus instead of her mother.

She poured out her heart to me right on that step.

Told me how she would come home and make breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and half the time she was doing it with no lights or water in the house.

I didn’t know what to say. I just listened until she got it all off her chest.

I went inside, helped her clean up, and threw out all the old food in the fridge.

Thankfully, the water was on. I hated that this was her situation.

After throwing all the trash out, we migrated back to the porch.

I looked at the sky, and it was starting to turn into dusk.

I knew it was time for me to get home, or my mom would be on my phone again.

I didn’t feel right about leaving her like this.

“Y’all should come with me for a few days,” I suggested. I didn’t even know why I would ask that. My mom would flip out, but she had a heart like mine. She would help if she knew.

“I can’t, and you can’t tell anybody! Promise me!” She said desperately.

“What you mean? Y’all need help.”

“They will split Trina and me up. Please. I’m serious, you can’t tell a soul!” She demanded, tears threatening to fall again.

“I won’t,” I said quickly. I learned a lot about the system, and I understood her fear. It didn’t make it any less fucked up, though.

She walked back inside and set up battery-operated lights. She ran a bath for Trina and got her into bed. I should have left then, but my heart made me stay. My mom had called me a million times while she moved through Trina’s nightly routine, but I couldn’t leave until I was sure she was okay.

“So you was fighting today?” She asked as we returned to the porch and sat on the first step again.

“Nigga had me fucked up. That’s why.” That was explanation enough in my opinion.

“You are smart, Marcos. Not like the other boys.” She swayed into me.

That small action had me blushing. I couldn’t stop it, and my words caught in my throat. I was so shy. It never happened with any other girl but her.

“It’s getting late. You should get home.” She suggested.

“Yeah,” I said, still hanging there.

“I probably won’t see you for a few weeks. Your momma don’t play.”

“Nah, I’ll see you tomorrow,” I affirmed.

“Don’t make your mom mad. She cares. That’s good. I’ll be okay.” She placed her head down.

“Dyami! You lil hot ass fuckin in my house!” I heard a female voice. I looked up and saw her mother.

“Oh my God! Please just leave.” Dyami’s heart sank as her mother approached. Her hair was all over her head. Dyami gave me a push to move me along. I didn’t want to, but there wasn’t much I could do.

“I hope you ain’t laying down for free! At least pay some bills if you gone get fucked in my house!” Her mom snapped, and that was enough to stop me.

“We didn’t have sex in your house. You should respect her.” I demanded.

Dyami’s eyes widened.

“Boy, who the hell are you? You some big man because you got your dick wet? Matter fact, give me some money since you such a big man.” She stuck her hand out and placed it against my chest. Dyami stepped up and swiped it away. Dyami’s eyes pleaded with mine, but I didn’t like that shit at all.

“Oh, you a big man. I got you. I’ll call the police on yo lil ass!” Her mom said stepping inside the house.

“Please, Marcos. Just leave. I don’t want you to get in trouble. That’s just how she is.” Dyami whispered.

The last thing I needed was my mom to pick me up from the station, so I started on my way home.

The walk was long and full of thoughts. I knew what my mom wanted for me, but my life was my choice.

I wanted more than I was getting. And now, not only did I want more for myself, I wanted more for Dyami.

Whatever I had to do to help her, I would.

If that meant dealing with the consequences from the street, then so be it.

It wasn’t even a choice. I had to. I would be sorry for breaking my mother’s heart, but the truth was Dyami Taylor had mine.