Page 31 of Always Been You

Crystal

I was in a hell of a situation. This nigga Kole had practically moved in with me.

Not only did he want to be a part of MJ’s life now, but he was also trying to be a part of every aspect of it.

He was interrupting things for me. I knew I had myself to blame for carrying a lie this long, but it just turned into something much bigger than me.

How could I tell Terror, after four years, that the son he had taken care of, spent money on, and introduced to his family might not be his own?

I didn’t dare to break his heart like that.

I was also scared as hell about what he would do to me when he found out.

Terror wasn’t crazy like Kole, but he still had the capacity to go off the deep end.

I didn’t know what to do, but I had to do something. I couldn’t continue like this.

The other day, when I was out with MJ, I had to explain to him that he had two daddies instead of just one.

I tried to convince him that Kole was his stepfather because we were dating, but he was only four, and I’m sure he was confused.

I felt like a horrible mother and a failure.

But what could I do? I had no help other than what Terror gave me.

I wasn’t sure Kole would stay around, and to be honest, no amount of money would have made me want to be with him willingly.

I just knew that he was crazy, and I couldn’t get away from him.

I tried to go with the flow. When he asked for sex, I gave it to him.

When he wanted me to cook, I did. I didn’t want MJ to see him acting crazy, so for his sake, I just kept the peace.

I was in the kitchen making dinner for Kole.

He wanted to be waited on hand and foot like I was some slave.

He wanted me to serve him breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and no, not sandwiches.

Three complete full-course meals, or it would be some shit.

I tossed the garlic and herb shrimp into the pan, making sure they were evenly coated with butter.

I put it on a plate next to the rice pilaf and steamed broccoli, and then took it into the living room to place it before him.

“Sit down,” he demanded, not even saying thank you for the food. But like the dumb ass I was, I sat down quietly.

“This is the last time you let that nigga play with my son. He won’t be spending no more time with a nigga that ain’t his blood. I leave for a day, come back, and my son is gone? Why the fuck did you let him take him?”

“It’s his weekend! Why are you doing this? You don’t even care about MJ. You haven’t even—"

I felt his hand go across my face so hard I felt my vision blur. He had my ears ringing. He slapped me so hard. I just knew my lip was starting to swell. I couldn’t keep taking this shit. I knew I wasn’t the perfect woman, but this was beyond the realm of anything that should happen to me.

“I told yo’ dumb ass to stop calling my son that shit! That’s not his fuckin’ name! You need to get your head wrapped around that fact before I leave for my next job. If I come back and my son is still being called that, it’s going to be a fucking problem!”

“How long do you think you are going to be here?” I asked quietly, praying he didn’t find my question offensive. He looked up from his plate and gave me his full attention.

“I’ll be here until I kill Terror,” he said, stone-faced.

That pulled a laugh from me. I knew this man was joking.

When his gaze didn’t waver, I felt fear grip me like never before.

Was he going to kill him? When this all started, it was about drugs.

He was back to take his son, but why kill him?

Kole had way more money than Terror, and I knew it wasn’t jealousy because Terror and I weren’t together.

That, and I knew Kole ain’t give two fucks about me either.

“You may as well fix that dumb ass face of yours. What the fuck did you think was going to happen? I was gone let this shit ride? You know what I do, and that's the nigga I came for. Just because you and my father could never pull the shit off doesn’t mean I can’t.

You played your position well enough. Thank you for making that nigga an easy pull.

If I ain’t know better, I would think you trying to get down with the squad the way you played that nigga so smooth,” he chuckled.

I got up and tried to walk past him to go to the bathroom, and he gripped my arm so tightly I knew he bruised it.

“If you are thinking about doing something stupid, just know it’s a hollow tip with your name on it. My son only needs me, and I don’t give a fuck about putting you six feet under bitch.”

He gritted before tossing me away. I stumbled to the bathroom, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

I was involved in a lot of shit in my day, but nothing like this.

Terror was a hard-bodied person, but shit, anybody could be caught slipping.

So, do I warn him off the strength of what he did for MJ for all these years, or do I keep my mouth shut and save my own damn life?

It really was a roll of the dice. Because I couldn’t trust that once the truth came out, Terror would protect me anyway. He didn’t deserve this shit. I fucked up bad.

Shit, I fucked up so bad.

I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and pulled up Terror’s name.

I bit my trembling bottom lip and started to type a message, halfway through the threat that Kole gave me kept replaying in my head.

I couldn’t do it. I just had to hope that he would take care of himself and somehow, someway, all this would turn out fine.

I opened the door of the bathroom, and as soon as I walked into the hallway, I heard a knock at the door.

I stilled my feet. I didn’t know who it could be, but I prayed like hell it was someone who could save me.

I went to the door, looked through the peephole, and saw Terror holding MJ, and I panicked.

Why was he here? Shit, why would he come unannounced?

I turned and tried to walk, but I ran right into Kole’s solid chest.

“Who the fuck is that?” He gritted.

“Nobody.”

“Bitch, open that damn door,” he said, backing up and giving me space. I swallowed hard and opened the door slightly.

“Let me in, Crystal. We need to talk about this shit,” Terror said, pushing his way in the door.

“Why the fuck you got some nigga over here saying he his daddy and shit?” Terror came in full steam, not allowing me to respond.

“That nigga would be me,” Kole said flatly, leaning against the kitchen island. I saw his hand behind his back, and I knew it was on his gun. I looked at MJ and tried to grab him from Terror’s arms, and he snatched him away from me.

“Well, then, we got a fucking problem then nigga!” Terror said, taking an aggressive step toward Kole.

“Yeah, we got a problem, but not the one that you think.”

That’s when Terror let MJ down, and I knew it was about to be some shit.

“Go to your room, MJ,” Terror said firmly. MJ started to walk.

“That ain’t his name. Kole, stay there,” Kole said in a low, menacing tone that stopped MJ in his tracks. Kole brought the official name change document out of his back pocket and threw it at Terror. I could see Terror’s head about to explode as the paper hit his chest and landed on the ground.

“MJ, leave now,” Terror spoke again as I saw him reaching now, too, and I felt like I was about to shit a brick. I grabbed MJ and tried to take him away to safety because I knew this shit was about to be all bad.

“Crystal put my fucking son down now and tell that nigga what it is!” Kole snapped.

“You need to start talking now!” Terror barked, and my head was ping ponging back and forth, but I didn’t say a word.

“TELL HIM!” Kole’s voice made me jump, and I looked at Terror, and tears sprang to my eyes.

“Fuck that crying shit! You trying to tell me that MJ ain’t mine? After all these years, you mean to tell me that ain’t MY FUCKING SON CRYSTAL?????” Terror asked.

“I don’t know,” I said in barely above a whisper.

“What the fuck you mean you don’t know?” Terror stepped towards me.

“Stop trying to save face. You know he’s mine!

That boy belongs to me! Look at his eyes.

” Kole said. Terror looked at me to dispute it.

I looked at Kole’s eyes, then Terror’s, then MJ’s.

They all mirrored each other. I didn’t know what the fuck was going on or what to say.

This didn’t need to go further. The secret was out.

I would deal with the consequences of the test, but MJ could only get harmed if they went at it.

“I’M SORRY!!! I’m so sorry, Terror.” I sobbed

“Fuck yo’ sorry!” Terror shouted.

“Aye, now that’s my bitch watch yo’ tone!” Kole shot.

“Nigga fuck you! Where the fuck were you while I was taking care of him? You need to stop fucking talking to me.”

“Or what?” Kole upped his gun, and Terror did the same, and MJ started to cry hysterically.

“Y’all please don’t do this in front of him. Please, he is only a child,” I cried, trying to reason with them both.

“Shut the fuck up, Crystal! My son needs to see this shit. He gone have to lay plenty niggas out in his day.” Kole said.

“If he yo’ son think about him. Crystal, take him away NOW!

” Terror spoke, trying to be the bigger man.

No doubt he still loved MJ and didn’t want anything to happen to him.

I knew he only said those words on the strength of his love for this boy because he never backed down from a fight.

I eased my way back, trying to get out of the line of sight for the guns.

“Don’t move, Crystal. I don’t miss,” Kole said again.

Before I could make another move, gunshots rang through the house.

I couldn’t see anything as fragments and smoke clung through the air.

All I could do was scream and duck to try to get my son and myself to safety.

I clung to him tightly as I crouched down behind the island.

I couldn’t believe they would do this with MJ present.

The fire went on for a few more minutes until I heard the door open and close, and more gunfire for a moment, and then nothing.

I walked around the island and saw so many damn holes everywhere.

I didn’t know what to do. There was blood everywhere, and I looked to see who was still there.

I saw a blood trail leading out the door, and when I looked out, Kole’s viper was gone.

I looked frantically around for Terror, and I saw him in the hallway with his shirt bloody.

“FUCK!” he screamed as he fought to get up. He propped himself on his left arm and slowly got to his feet. He was fighting to catch his breath. He looked at me with wide eyes while he winced in pain.

“Daddy!” MJ squealed as he saw Terror collapse back to the ground with a blood-soaked shirt.