Page 18 of Always Been You

“That’s crazy, you remember that shit?” he said with a smile.

“I remember everything, too,” I said quietly.

“Me too, and I guarantee you a lot has changed.”

I blushed thinking about yet another memory.

“Why did you never look for me?” I asked the question that had been bouncing in my head for a while.

“You always said you would never be here. You were serious about that shit. Once we fell out of contact, I figured you moved on.”

“You did,” I said quickly.

“Not really. I was moving how I wanted, but I wasn’t lying either.”

“So that means you were a hoe.”

He laughed. “I mean, shit.” He ran his hand over his head.

“I get it. We were at two different places in life.”

“We were, but I never lost thought of you. I would never bring no bullshit to you, and I mean that. I wasn’t ready is the biggest reason. I wasn’t going to dig you up, and I wasn’t who I was supposed to be.”

“But you are him now, right?”

“Absolutely.”

We eased into a comfortable conversation, reminiscing and talking about the past. The phone conversations were great, and even the few times we were able to go out were nice.

But this? This was a new level of intimacy.

He flirted with me through light touches and piercing stares.

I noticed he always stayed connected to me. Subtly, but the effort was conscious.

We talked about family and memories and fell into a place so comfortable that I felt I could say whatever was on my mind. I hadn’t had that feeling with anyone but him. He got me. Still, after all these years, he got me. He was making me forget that the encounter with my mother ever happened.

He trailed me home, and on the way there, I thought about his warning. I also thought about the ache between my legs that needed to be addressed. I was still stirring from his words.

I came to a stop in my driveway, feeling a rush of anticipation as he was already out of his car before I even turned off the ignition.

I hesitated a moment before opening my door and stepping out.

Our eyes locked, and in that silent gaze, I sensed his daring challenge.

He knew I desired him deeply, but I wonder if he truly understood just how intense that longing was.

His mere presence ignited a fire within me, electricity tingling beneath my skin.

I couldn’t help but feel that if he touched me again, everything might change. We couldn’t go back after this.

When I looked at my door, I felt a looming feeling in the pit of my stomach. All those emotions and disappointments would come back as soon as he left. I didn’t want to be alone.

I fumbled the keys a few times and opened the door. At first, he didn’t come in, but after a few seconds, he came in enough to close the door.

“You want to stay?” I asked him.

“You think you ready, huh?” His voice was hoarse and dripping with passion.

I answered him with a kiss—one so passionate that he had no doubt what I wanted to say to him.

I wanted him to have me. All of me. Call me fucking crazy, but I wanted to be his slut like he said.

The thought of how dirty we could get excited me.

He had me so open and turned on that I was down for just about anything at this point.

“Stop.” He pushed me away, and I stepped back, confused.

“What happened?”

He stepped back from me and rubbed his hand over his face to stall for a moment.

“I respect you so fuckin much. You are the standard, and I will never give you less than you deserve. Let me do this right. Your last first time is going to be one you remember. Not something we rushed into because we were caught in a moment.”

Embarrassment flushed my face. I nodded as I turned away.

“Nah, don’t look like that. Come here.” When I didn’t move to his command, he stepped in front of me.

He looped his hands around my waist and brought me to him for a kiss, which was even more confusing.

My pulse was racing, and I was ready to give whatever he was willing to take.

I just wanted to feel something other than this bullshit.

He pushed me back abruptly again. This time, his hands stayed connected to my hips.

“It’s taking every bit of restraint I have to do this. But this means something to me.”

“If you aren’t ready. I get it.” I didn’t, and honestly, it pissed me off a little, but I couldn’t force him. He snatched my hand and placed it on his hard dick outside of his pants. Damn, it was so thick, and I could feel the vein through the fabric.

“Don’t ever think I don’t want you. I need this first time to be about us.

You deserve that. I don’t want to just fuck you.

I want to experience you in a way no other man has, and you to experience me that same way, because for me it ain’t shit else after this.

I appreciate you telling me you’re ready. I got it from here.”

I was stunned. What man turns down pussy? I felt like it was a prank, and I was embarrassed to say more.

“Okay, I get it.”

“You don’t, but you will.” He stated firmly.

“Whatever you say. I appreciate you listening to me. Have a good night.” I went to the door and opened it. My initial thought process was right. Maybe this would always be a friendship because any other nigga would have been fucking my pain away before I had a second thought.

“Who said I was going somewhere?”

“Marcos, I have had a long fucking day, and I don’t have time for games.”

“You want to be alone? I would much rather be here for you.”

I pursed my lips together and folded my arms across my chest. He was so damn sexy, and I was horny as fuck. I really wanted to slap the shit out of him, then throw him down and fuck him. Since I knew I couldn’t take his tall ass, I settled for walking away for a while.

“I’m taking a shower. Make yourself comfortable.

” I snapped, sounding anything but inviting.

I walked out of the living area and turned on the shower.

I took a few deep breaths as I washed my body.

I recalled what just happened. He issued me a dare and couldn’t follow through.

I couldn’t remember a time I was ever turned down.

A smile crept across my lips. My last first time. He thought he was talking his shit. I had to give it to him. It sounded good.

I finished washing and got dressed much more slowly than I needed to. A part of me wanted him to give up and leave, but when I came back out, he had done exactly what I offered. He was comfortable in a pair of sweats and had taken off his t-shirt, getting down to his beater.

“Who is that?” My eyes snapped to the door when I heard a knock, and my heart dropped. It was early, and Jay trying to pop up would only add another element to my night I didn’t need.

“Food. Out of all the shit you told me happened today, you didn’t tell me shit about you eating. You got off at five, and it's 10 now.” He swung open the door after he finished speaking. He fetched a total of 6 full bags.

As he brought them inside, my stomach rumbled, and somehow, I was a little less mad.

“What’s that?” I said, attitude still stated.

“What you think? Now I won’t lie, it’s been a minute, but I remember you used to love these. I’ll catch up to the new shit soon.”

“You got Starlite?” I perked up.

“What it smell like?” He teased, and I snatched the bag.

It had been so long since I had an order of chili cheese fries from them.

I did my best to maintain a healthy weight.

Chili cheese fries didn’t fit into the program.

Secondly, nobody thinks about Starlite unless they are drunk off their ass and in need of some grease to absorb the liquor. The first bite touched my soul!

“Damn, take a breath.” Marcos teased.

“Don’t worry about what I’m doing.” I teased back between bites. I rewarded him with a smile.

“There she goes. I got something to make ya smile wider than that.” He gave me a Styrofoam cup and I took it happily. The strawberry shake was just as good as I remembered.“See, I never got that shit. Even back when we were kids.” He said, shaking his head.

“That’s because you're a hater,” I said, alternating the fries and shake. I didn’t realize how hungry I was.

“Naw, you a weirdo. How does Chili and milk go together?”

“No, you are. Who eats their burger first, then their fries? It’s a reason they put it together because it’s all supposed to be eaten at once. You still do that?”

“Don’t worry about what I’m doing.” He mocked me, and I laughed. A hearty good laugh. Then I looked at him. We caught each other’s eyes, and we locked. I looked away first.

“So, what’s in the rest of the bags? That’s a lot of food.”

“Just in case what I knew has changed somehow. I appreciate the memories, but I need to get to know who Dyami is now.”

I blushed.

“I get it,” I said softly. He grabbed one bag and brought out a burger and fries. I looked out the corner of my eye until he caught me.

“Bruh, gone.” He shook his head.

“You still do it!” I laughed.

We finished eating, and he placed the rest of the food in the fridge. We camped out on the couch. He was so tall he barely fit, but we were able to settle into a comfortable position as I lay on top of him with the back of my head on his chest. We played movies until I fell asleep in his arms.