Page 57 of Always Been You

Terror

W e had a bit of a drive, but I knew in my heart that Dyami would want to be a part of this special day for her best friend. Chubby was doing it. He was proposing to Chante. So, as we hugged the highway on our two-hour drive, I was avoiding questions from Dyami like a ninja.

“I’m calling Chante, and her ass didn’t go to work either,” Dyami said from the passenger side.

“Shit been crazy. She probably needed a break, too.” I looked in the rearview mirror and gathered a sleeping MJ before I continued. “I can’t thank y’all enough for what y’all did for the funeral, from cooking to picking out outfits. I wouldn’t have gotten through this shit without y’all.”

Dyami’s hand reached out and caressed my thigh. I picked her hand up and pressed it to my lips. “You know we would do anything for you. I’m just glad it was a beautiful service.”

“I know. It feels good to have support like this.” I admitted.

“I know! I was just thinking how I miss everybody being under the same roof. I know that’s not ideal for so many of us to live together, but it felt so good to have everyone close. Like a family.”

“Not like, we are family. The way we waded through all this shit proves it.” I said.

That’s precisely why I wasn’t going to allow her to miss this significant step in her best friend’s life.

There were so many things that I wanted to do with her.

Making her my wife was a top priority, and it was already in the works.

What I loved most about her, though, was that she always clapped for others.

She loved for good things to happen to good people without any jealousy being attached to it.

Just another reason why she was my forever.

There were so many more, and when I dropped to one knee, I prayed my words didn’t escape me.

Dyami was it for me and always had been.

The curve of her smile brightened my day.

Her body spoke to me in ways no other woman had, and she grounded me in reality with a simple glance.

She was the safest place I‘d ever found, and she pushed me in ways I never thought possible.

As I turned into the parking lot where her best friend’s surprise was held, I knew Dyami would be next, and it wouldn’t be long.

“Aww, my baby is sleeping well.” Dyami fake-pouted when she turned to MJ.

“Watch him pop up asking a million and one questions.” I laughed because I knew it was true. Kids didn’t give a fuck about the situation. They just wanted to know what, when, and where.

We popped out of the car and we walked inside the hall, MJ in tow.

“We came this far out to come to a hall?” Dyami asked.

I opened the door the next moment, and her eyes widened.

The hall was full of all of Chante’s family.

I wasn’t ready for the love they would display to my baby.

I knew she and Chante went to college together, but the sheer number of hugs and squeals was overwhelming.

I watched as one by one, all of Chante’s cousins, and mainly her brothers, wrapped her up.

I was looking closely at those niggas because I knew they loved her, but they weren’t related by blood.

I was a certified crash out about Dyami. They kept it respectful, so I did too.

“What is this?” She asked me, then her eyes migrated to the pictures on the wall that showed the migration of Chubby and Chante’s relationship. “Oh my God, is he proposing? Is that why we are here?” She half shouted, and tears rushed to her eyes.

“Sshh. She will be here any second.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She cried.

“I love you, baby, but you can’t hold water.”

She shook her head because she knew it was true.

“I gotta go to the bathroom, Daddy.” MJ tugged on my hand.

“I got you,” I said to him while Dyami sat at a table.

I smiled like a goof as I walked MJ down the hall. I was happy as fuck my woman was happy. It was so many more occasions coming for us both. When MJ finished, I stopped him in the hall and crouched down to him. I reached into my pocket and brought out a ring box.

“Whoa, Daddy! That’s big.”

You damn right it is!

“This is for Dyami. I am going to ask her to be my wife soon. How you feel about that?”

“I like Ms. Dyami. She's pretty.” He said simply.

He was always saying that shit, but I couldn’t blame my little homie for having taste. “I want us to be a family officially. Can you keep this a secret until I ask her in a few months?”

“I promise.” He tossed his pinky up, and we locked, sealing the promise. When he did that, I already knew my boy was gone hold it down.

I slipped the box back in my pocket. When we joined Dyami, Chubby and Chante were walking in the door.

Before long, there were tears everywhere, and Chubby did his thing on the proposal.

Dyami and Chante squealed, cried, and already started planning.

Looking at my people and the happiness around me made me feel emotions I had never experienced before.

This is how I wanted my family. Close and happy.

I busted my ass for years, now it was time to reap the benefits and choose something different. Choose her.

“Wow! I am so happy for Chante!” Dyami finally made her way back to me. I looked out at the crowd, and Chubby and Chante were dancing. MJ had made his way to the kids' corner and was playing around with some kids, so I took Dyami to the dance floor.

“You must have been working on this. You have had two left feet as long as I could remember.” Dyami teased.

“I can’t do much, but I got a lil something.”

“What time is it? We have to make sure we get home before Trina gets out of school.” She said.

“Trina is 16, baby. She has a key. She is fine.”

“I know, but,”

“Stop worrying. Her last report card came in great. She is on track.” I soothed.

“Yeah, that report came in because you promised her a car if she keeps it up. I can’t believe you told her that.” She swayed in my arms easily as she spoke.

“I told her because that’s what I’m gone do. Sometimes positive reinforcement works. Y’all been through a lot of shit. It’s time for some wins.”

“Oh, and what about MJ?” She tried to push me in the chest to create separation, but I held on.

“He is fine in the corner playing around the kids. Chante’s mom is over there monitoring. Any more questions, pretty?”

“No.” She smiled bashfully. “This is so beautiful. I guess it’s really time for us to get to the good part in life.”

“Yeah, just one more thing,” I said

“No, baby. Don’t think you have to rush things between us. I under—”

“Nothing we could do would ever be a rush. I’m ready for everything that comes with you, but today we honor our friends. I’m talking about my father. I’m going to see him.” I cut in.

She rested her head on my chest, and calm spread through me. “That will be good for you, baby. Just remember to get what you need from it. Ask those questions and accept the answers.”

“As long as I have you, what else could I ever need?”

She blushed, and I kissed her right in the middle of the dance floor.

***

An unfamiliar feeling settled within me as I waited in the visiting area at ADX Supermax.

I had never been here, and in only a few seconds, I could feel the depression and sinking feeling radiating through the place.

It was like the souls in here were crying out to me before anyone even said a word.

I focused on the clarity I desperately needed.

My father. A man whom I heard so much about.

His actions I knew vividly, his presence not so much.

I wanted to be pissed off that he didn’t want me here, but once I stepped foot inside, I understood why.

This was no place for a child. This was no place for anyone.

Yet, I needed to do this for me. I tilted my head back against the cold brick wall in the waiting room.

It was just me and one other visitor here.

Many people in this facility were overlooked.

The inmates were lifers, and a lot of people will tell you plenty of shit.

Truth be told, life was still turning outside of these doors, and it was easy to forget someone who had no out.

“Let’s go!” A bulky ass security guard sauntered over and stopped in front of me with his arms folded.

He had to be about 5'8" and weigh around 350 pounds. He was hardened from dealing with the population in here, but I didn’t appreciate his rough ass disposition. I understood this wasn’t the place to flex, so I stood to my feet and followed behind him.

I had already been processed and checked in before I stepped into the waiting area, and now they were leading me to see my father.

After walking for some time, we found ourselves in a cold, empty room with one table and two chairs.

There was a guard in the corner whose eyes were glued to me.

“Are you Ice’s son?” The guard who led me in asked. I just looked at him. I didn’t owe this muthafucka no conversation. I was here for what I was here for. When I didn’t answer, he smiled at me sarcastically.

“I bet you those lips loosen up when yo ass gets locked up behind these walls. It’s only a matter of time before I see you again.”